Unmasking Narcissistic Fathers: 8 Traits Exposed

“I’ll give you something to cry about” - my dad whenever I cried

Now i realize why I could never have children.

My father never changed. He has always been psychologically abusive. At the age of 94 he still plays to shame and belittle his children. I had to reframe who he is. Had to see him as a distant relative or a visitor. A father just doesn’t treat you that way.

Have you done any videos that talk about why i obsess that my wife has cheated on me in the past? Ive made up in my mind several situations thay my wife has had affairs but none of it turned out to be true. I hate this..

haha-What You mentioned about the call and them only speaking about themselves and ask 'How You're doing' as an afterthought-My Mother to a T

Growing up with a narcissistic father, being the scapegoat, and then working through all the dysregulation involved, I can tell you... it's a long journey and you'll always have to be mindful, but it's 100% possible to be free of the pain and confusion. Dr. Fox is an incredible man and a blessing to the world

My father loved dressing up and parading me around in front of his friends. He would buy me an expensive gift after a big fight. I had to remove him from my life when I became so angry with him that I wanted to hurt him in the worst way possible.

I'm glad you mentioned both sides, I had committed o. A video that had Isolated men once but am not sure if I mentioned in that comment that I can see how some things mentioned were things my son had to deal with. Unfortunately through his childhood he was the one in that I never came back and said how bad I felt about it to him after the fact even when I would to his mom. I always wanted him to be tougher than I was and never understood how my behavior was damaging until I started looking into things like narcissistic traits and bpd, and have pushed him away completely trying to push talking about how many are what I recently started realizing I had dealt with in my life without a way to understand or describe. The gift one applies in a few ways, I sold a 4 wheeler when he was young because he wouldn't go out and work on a trail, and the one when he was older because he didn't want to take over maintenance, after his mom and I broke up his mom told me he wanted a custom fishing rod so I got him that. I did tell her it had had their top parts built on it.. I hope he likes it and gets use out of it. It wasn't to buy his love, I get that from my parent, it was the first Christmas gift I got him that wasn't split in a long time. I liked this video.. I personally resonate with all 9 bpd criteria and definitely can identify that I tend to have narcissistic traits with it. Thank you

I'm never going to be a Dad, but if I do, I promise to treat my children like possessions I unfairly punish, gaslight and humiliate. Oh, you thought I was going to say the opposite? Hell, no! This trauma must continue!

My father hated Holidays and giving gifts when he felt he "had" to. Instead, he'd randomly give me gifts whenever he saw fit. He said it was more "special" that way, but really it was used as a manipulation tactic since he made holidays and most days absolutely miserable. Then during the day if I acted up he'd threaten to take away or throw away the gift... Imagine telling a six year old, "This is why I never do anything nice for you!"

An increadibly helpful and informative video, Daniel. Many thanks for that as usual. It would be really interesting to see those traits in narcissistic mothers with all the overlaps and differences (if any). Look forward to seeing your new videos.

I remember being grammar school age, and any compassionate parent would understand how little ones can be overly stimulated due to being tired, well, my ignorant dad kept threatening to, “give me something to cry for,” because I was tired and had fallen asleep in the car coming home and started crying while waking up. I didn’t know why I was crying. Even now I can see and hear his threatenings. He’s now dead and ✌🏽 bye! 😂

Good video...

People tell me I have daddy issues. No, I have mommy and daddy issues.

I'll never know if my father was a narc. Stepdad leans more avoidant. Mom, however...real piece of work. And age made her infinitely worse.

As always, this was a useful and informative video Dr. Fox.

What hurt me most as a teen was seeing my father belittling my mom and not being able to do anything about it. She told me not to intervene because otherwise he would accuse her of bringing me up against him.

Thanks Doc. Glad I dont have all but do have some narcissistic tendencies of belittling my boys when they make a mistake. I don't want to continue damaging them.

This is so, so helpful. Thank you, Dr. Fox.

I love you doc and your explanations are so perfectly worded.
"Insulation" takes lots n lots of self talk, self love, parenting yourself when deep inside you the child in you is craving for your parent's approval, presence and unconditional love.
That is a true healing process.

Man did you ever hit the nail on the head when you said “The sooner you can recognize it and create insulation from it the better.” The moment your videos helped me see I have a narcissistic father, was the moment I began to heal.

All these points are my whole childhood with my father, though he's gotten better as he's gotten older and it doesn't affect me as much anymore because I can identify whenever he's trying to gaslight or he's having a narcissistic moment.

He had a very troublesome childhood with completely crazy parents and he's not a bad man but the damage to me still happened. Thank you for your videos, these last few ones have been very pertinent to me.

I'm tired of being like this, I was going to either find a therapist or get your workbook. Think I'll try the workbook first.

The whole thing where you cry from emotional overwhelm, then your dad immediately attacks you for making him feel one iota of discomfort.

My father does every single one, oof, I’m glad I cut him off but grieving that relationship is so painful

my father is very naive, his favourite book at that time was letters of kindness and he couldnt imagine that his daughter has been already abused by valentina volkova, it was not in his map of reality that there are people who destroy children for their national identity but when in his school during the lesson pedofile kid a child at 4pm in the yard of a school he started realizing smth but i already required medical care which didnt have and then alexandrova started attacking me

Oh, yeah! But he did outgrow it when all his children finally grew up. That took a while, as we had a 12 year gap between the next to last and the youngest.
Grades were never good enough, called us 2 boys names and was hyper-critical of us. He upstaged everybody if possible except for the two girls, eldest and youngest of the 4 siblings, both boys in the middle, 2 college dropouts bookended by 2 graduates with advanced degrees.

My FIL set about telling all the doctors caring for my dieing MIL that "all his kids are registered geniuses" They all, with the exception of the oldest girl whom sees him for what he is, thought he was finally proud, finally noticing them. That hope from them broke my heart. I saw it for what it was; him bragging about his being the sire of four geniuses. The four geniuses were not relevant. For the record non of them are geniuses. Smart? Yes. Mensah, Rhode scholars? No.

My father and my ex wife's father

What is extremely difficult to deal with is when the narcissistic parent appropriates and hoards or spend resources all on themselves at the expense of the children's very real needs. And to add insult to injury, the narcissist lies about it to everyone.

Thanks!

Cut him out of your life like you would a cancerous tumour. Do it before he matastisizes to something vital where he will grow and eventually destroy you.

Dr. Fox, I so bless the day I stumbled upon your first video. Watching this video was the ultimate in validation. I’ve been working on myself for a while, so I had to laugh. This. Is. My. Dad. To a T. And while I will always grieve the time lost to the mental issues I developed in childhood, I will also forever be grateful for learning about toxic behaviors, how they affect you, and how to move past them. It has given me a chance at life at last, and I am very grateful. Thank you.

My ex would only go to our kids' events when his family or associates were there to watch him be a proud father. If there was no audience, he would either act put out and bothered or he just wouldn't show up at all.

Love the information!