The Narcissism Doctor: THESE Toxic Patterns Are Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist

What lesson did you learn from Dr. Ramani?

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Noooo way would my narcissistic parent would NEVER let a therapist enter their world.

I’m trying so hard to heal from a traumatic experience with my origin family ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

That volcano metaphor is spot on.

This shit make me wanna cry because I’m currently going through this

Repeated forgiveness thank you for understanding victims and not shaming , thank you for this video topic.

That last part about her book being a love letter to survivors to not let themselves be diminished…. I cried. I’ve been afraid to order the book because I’m still with my abuser. I’m going to find a way to read it.

When their version of "us" is them totally draining you of everything while shelving you when they're "not in the mood...." - good lord. see it for what it is. Turn off the audio and sit with yourself. it will become clear. Take, take, take. We all have a breaking point.

Yes, grudges are self-protection against repeat offenders! Ain't gotta forgive nothing!

Thanks Jay, I really appreciate the Dr Romani’ s knowledge and clear lessongs and descriptions of the problem of narcissism in relationships. I believe it’s the new era of it Entitlement. Prime Survival of a society of broken beginnings and loss of respect balance for others and self seeking care instead 😢Poor judgment and Miss judgement and lock of security in this new century of divorse loss of family balance and even abandonment in a selfish drug created created society. We need to go back to care and conscious self awareness of Truth and Gods teachings. Kindness and love =The Golden Rule ⭐️❤️🙏🕊

Woman you are describing my 2 and a half yrs relationship. Thanks to many of your posts in IG Im now 1 month out of it. It has been HELL but I will get through

Does a narcissist always have to be right in every conversation?

Ty so much .great teaching.

This was absolutely incredible and so helpful/insightful. This is easily the most difficult situation I've ever encountered, but this gave me tremendous perspective and made me realize I'm not crazy. It's almost unbelievable to hear Dr. Ramani describe patterns and situations that I've literally gone through for almost 2 years ....

The problem with all information about narcissist that you can find on internet, is that its very simplified and disregards the other disorders , narcissists usually carry. To understand properly you have to go to the area of the psychopats. These to interact with each other. Especially in the area of empathy. There different kind of empathy, they are both found or lack of it, in narcissists but also in psychopaths. Its very common that a narcissist see herself as an empathetic person, she can be, but usually, not the kind of empathy that means understanding other persons feeling. She can, from an abstract point, see that ure for example are sad, bcs you are crying and tears comes from the eyes. But she is incapable of understand how sad you are, how you feel inside. And that borders to the behaviour of psychopatic disorders. To understand, and to be able to recognise a narcissist, you have to always have a thought of psychopatic disorder. These to interact with each other, and therefor , difficult to spot, and difficult to treat. Narcissist often run from responsability, blaming others. It was not me, it was someone else. And this lack of or denying own responsability ,is in fact a psychopatic disorder. The dangerous narcissist, is in my opinion, the one that has other behavour disorders. And usually they have. In popular press we talk about narcissist or psychopats like its black and white. Its not. Its highly complicated.

absolutely correct

I love the space Jay gave Dr. Ramani to share her wisdom. Biggest takeaway: if you are distanced from the person, you can allow empathy for them. But if you’re not distanced, no empathy allotted. Boundaries for self! ❤

Went no contact with my ex husband for 3 weeks now. Best decision I ever made after realizing how manipulating and cold he really is. Was afraid to admit that to myself for so long. Made so many excuses because of his “other side.” I finally feel free from all the head games and true lack of love that I imagined was real.

Realizing someone just will never change is actually so healing. That is helping me to let go of someone who hurt me.🙏🏽. Don't wish them bad but just finally am coming to peace with letting go because once you also realize your kindness keeps getting taken for granted that is enough to give you strength and get up and move on 🙏🏽

I am thankful for Dr. Ramani covering my complications between empathy and forgiveness. This lead me to insight about myself that has been a struggle. I fear hurting a family member in this dynamic knowing that person is not going to understand. I notice now I need to realize my self worth. I can’t help myself from having empathy; now I realize that I don’t need to forgive. Even more importantly, It’s possible to move forward even though I have empathy. At this point, it’s still heartbreaking, but I realize it’s possible.

Interesting video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

Jay you’re a charlatan but Dr R is awesome.

This is so true people don’t realize how much language and syntax and all that goes into our day-to-day interactions with each other and how our language expands and allows us to be able to now put a label or two put things in the rightful box and the things like people having boyfriends who are jerks or who they call dogs and all these type of personality traits and things that come out in relationship that they never had a name for now we know it’s narcissism we’ve coined the colloquialism so now we can work on awareness and then hopefully at some pointsince psychology is still in its infancy we still don’t know yet the proper progression of tactics maybe that would allow us to be able to actually help or narcissist not be so narcissistic

I'm learning that some people operate in control and manipulation. Once you realize the pattern, it's important to take steps to protect yourself.

It gets better yall
Hang in there

Yeah don't the good people always get screawd

Thank you,,,,,,,,,,thank you a lot I need this

Recovering from a relationship with a narcissist is quite painful, because you realize that you fell in love with a fictitious character.

Major narc...she was married to sal Bonanno for 10 year
Mafia

😅😅y😢this is is my life

Instead of empathy - we should feel sympathetic or pity for these narcs

As she rightly mentioned, as empaths we want to forgive, but doing it constantly costs our mental well being so taking small acts of revenge will keep us in peace

I think we did have a name for it A-HOLE 😂

Thank you Dr. Ramani for being so truthfully informative and honest on the subject. It is really helpful to understand, comprehend and accept the reality of a narcissist. I listened to you and connected the dots in my experience.

I had a lot of depression and stress in the relationship. It was interesting as I broke up with him and stoped the constant contact the depression lifted

Very powerful, and enlightening.

I was BEST friends with someone since we were 19... In our 20s and 30s, over time, my friend became mentally abusive with me, so we stopped speaking... In our 20s, it lasted for a few months... In our 30s, it was for 4 years... I started watching videos from Dr. Ramani a few years ago, because the abuse had become bad again... So, 3 years ago, I made the decision to stop speaking to my former friend. It is difficult... I miss good things about our friendship, but I NEVER miss the abuse, the gaslighting, the passive aggressive comments, the outright insults or walking on eggshells. So grateful.

I'm fairly certain my mom has NPD, and that's mainly because I obviously know her well, and she has pretty much ALL the signs. It took moving across country to really become my own person, versus some puppet for my mom's bs. Even then, I still cannot barely withstand talking to her on the phone, or visiting back home. I've probably dated several men with narcissistic tendencies, and it took awhile to realize what it was. Because my mom is a narc yet she put me on a very conditional pedestal, it's caused some desire to get validation and attention from others who are similar. It took not giving a sh1t about validation from others to really break the cycle. And even then, I think my current boyfriend also has a few narc traits. Idk if it's even possible to escape it, because nowdays people are even more rewarded for being shallow and pretty and everyone needs attention now.

Married faithfully over 26 years. I had cervical cancer. It was from HPV. He had been cheating with multiple women around the world. Almost our entire marriage was a lie. Now, as I lose weight. (For the record, super hot and three jobs while he cheated on me). My male “associates” say “Well, you must have not been giving him something!” Dude, I gave him everything. Every penny. Every hour, two kids, a meal on the table every night, well educated kids, a super clean home, and a ho while in bed. Never denied him. What did I do wrong?

Thank Dr. Ramani...u just describe what I experienced for the last 19 years...u open my mind to understanding completely what I went through...It is so life changing perspective to realize that "it is not you but them" all these years of toxic manipulation. I just need to find a therapist to start my healing journey.

Call me crappy but I can't respect people who don't respect me 🤡 once that's apparent it is time to remove yourself from my life. I am not a toxic person & will not continue entertaining drama seekers who violate others & ignore the effects it has as if they're not doing anything wrong. I am not sorry for defending myself ✌🏽

These people are unhappy & need to control others for validation & a false sense of power. I don't need anyone who can't present authenticity & genuine connections. Stay away from me with the orchestrated bullshit & premeditated underhanded insults. TALK WITH YOUR CHEST & stop being a passive aggressive weirdo ✌🏽

Why would I want anything to do with people who secretly spy on me & use it to play in my face? It's giving let's normalize stalking & bully her into realizing she was out of line for cutting the broke Ravarieres off because she can't be mad at us all 🤡 actually I'm good on my own & won't lose any sleep over fake ass people not being my long-term friends. I will not tolerate or accept that shit from NOBODY & y'all will get tf out of my life with the lil kid shit. Keep trying me if you want to cus I'm done & not playing about my life.

You will always & forever be a weirdo no matter who you initiate to save you ✌🏽 tf on

I survived 41 years of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. I finally was able to get my divorce papers last week. Everything you hear from Doctor Ramani is real, practical, frank, no sugar-coating, and honest. I experienced it all. In my case, since I came from parents who were both narcissists, I was aware of her disorder and thought could live with it. What saved me was the faith in myself, my gifts, my goodness as a strength, and faith in a higher power that controls this universe and connects to this source. Remind yourself whenever you encounter one of the other site's negative behaviors: "WHAT SHE THINKS OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS."- imagine what you hear is like water that touches your oiled skin. It can't penetrate and affect you. Use visualization. It works for me.

Love this so much…….Excellent, Excellent, Excellent! Thanks to you both!

These therapy's are expensive ash. It makes it impossible for people like me to even have access to a therapist. 😢

Going through a divorce… just realized I’ve been married to a narcissist 😭😭

I don’t empathize for my grandma , I don’t wish nothing bad happen to her but … if she died today or 2 morrow i wouldn’t shed a tear or wouldn’t be happy I just have no feelings toward her.

Empath here! To all survivors of this type of abuse, you're validated, and you matter! Don't give up on your healing journey! You're loved, and you're beautiful, no matter what your narc or ex narc says!

Forgiveness is necessary for God to forgive you. Forgiveness is not the same as trusting. I can forgive someone but I don’t have to trust them. Trust can only be rebuilt through true repentance which is taking responsibility for their actions and making changes. Being able to forgive is not allowing bitterness in your heart