5 Reasons Quidditch is Fricking Stupid

Good to see you!

Umm actually, with regards to reason number four if you consult the in universe textbook ‘Quidditch through the ages’, you’ll find that all brooms have ‘cushioning’ spells placed on them so they’re nice and comfy. This coupled with the fact that the information source isn’t a tweet renders this video INVALID and your points MOOT.


Loved the video, good stuff

I always thought Harry Potter was a tad unrealistic.
I mean, you have this secret wizarding school and you get a bunch of muggle cameramen, sound crew and the director of the first two Home Alone movies to document the whole thing?
Terrible way to keep a secret, if you ask me. Does Dumbledore not know about the International Statute of Secrecy or...?

Thank you for triggering my girlfriend. It's not often I see her get this worked up. Keep up the great work!

Not enough nudity.

You ever seen a chihuahua and great dane root? Explain Hagrid's parentage please because it seems maybe rapey.

On boundaries: It says in the official rules in Qudditch Through The Ages that players can't fly outside the pitch (although they can fly as high above it as they want). Harry and Draco should've been disqualified or penalised or something.

These lil fuckers ain't even got any orotective gear on. No classic helmets or shinguards, and also no magical protection either. I bet the school evades tax.

I like Harry Potter but I always found it odd that the teachers leave all these important events up to children to solve.

What, students are disappearing into some secret chamber? I'm sure it'll work itself out. Back to class children.

Living photos and paintings are Terrifying to think about

Soccer is hard enough to watch. All the players look alike from the distance you watch from. Quidditch is a huge volume with very few players, and half of the crowd has to stare into the sun. An no one ever drops the ball! (Quaffle?) They're not Accio-ing it. That would be magically cheating. Yeah. It would have made more sense if they explained it less, like the force. It'll never make sense.

Just wait till you get to see some Aussie rules Quidditch!

Its just flying rugby

It's obvious. All the students at Hogwarts are trans.

Best Ted Talk I have ever seen.

The brooms are wider. The kids are smaller. They can sit on a stick. Also the Brooma don't break like a hollow aluminium broomstick would. But I'll give that it makes no sense that a team can buy the latest brooms that are much much faste than the other teams and still call that a fair fight

Imagine a F1 race. Only you're driving a soapbox car and I'm driving a million dollar class racer.

Nice video hugback❤❤

I'm surprised that Quidditch is the only sport seen in harry potter. I would think broom racing would be a thing.

JK Rowling here. Did you know Quidditch is an allegory for...

*checks list for social causes I haven't used yet*

...Apartheid.

You missed how the snitch is dumb. Quidditch isn't a game, it's 2 games stacked on top of each other. On the one hand you have beaters keepers and chasers. That's a game that at least makes some sense. Keepers guard the goals, chasers score the points, and beaters yeet the flying death balls at everyone else to keep the game interesting. That's at least a game that, while dangerous, makes sense.

But why are there even seekers? Why is there even a Snitch? While everyone else is actually involved in a game with strategies and formations the seekers are just buzzing around looking for the shiny thing. And for some reason the shiny thing is worth 15 goals. It's not a game, it's 2 games stacked on top of each other. Other than occasionally dodging the bludgers the seekers don't interact with the other players at all. And on top of that the whole game ends based on the seekers catching the shiny little ball, so some games last 10 minutes while others have canonically lasted weeks. It's a stupid system.

Regarding brooms between your legs. You should know that there was a brilliant piece of merchandising - a vibrating broom sold to the little girls, that older girl were really found off.

Yeah but like none of them are wearing eye liner

Reasons 2 and 3 are pretty much just issues with the movies depictions of the game. In the books, there's no flying through rafters, no students being hit by lightning, none of the whole "knocking people off their brooms from great heights and it's no big deal". Reason 4 has an explanation, but it's never given in the primary books, which I do think is an issue.

The first reason, about cheating... that's a good point, but it also isn't. First incident was being caused by Voldemort/Quirrel, Snape being involved, and said people in question are very powerful and proficient wizards. And the rogue Bludger was due to a houself, which is in part due to Wizarding arrogance that House Elves are pitiful inept creatures who are only useful for one thing, and anything else is discarded.

Reason 5 has a fair point, but this almost exists in a universe where Harry had all the bones in his arm regrown in a single night so... if we right now had the ability to heal any sport injury within 24 hours, you don't think sports wouldn't become rougher as a result?

everyone is on steroids on quidditch

it's not cheating if everyone can use magic from their chair though.

it's not murder since the medics are literally magical

arguing about broomsticks isnt really a harry potter issue. you now broomsticks are for witches generally right ?

This was hilarious so many things I never thought of before. XD

Quidditch is just like Wizard hockey: everyone pretends they're there for the sport but in reality they just wanna see blood and fights.

What I never understood was, catching the Golden Snitch netted you 150 points, and ended the game. So, if the other team were utterly spanking you, and you were down 160+ points, the seeker role would be pointless, because by catching the Snitch you would actually be handing the win to the opposing team...?

The running theme throughout Harry Potter is basically this: Savages who become demi-gods by birth will not become civilized if it makes them demi-gods in ways they can't magic into existence. It kind of makes sense why you would allow some degree of painful maiming in Quiddich if any any all maiming can be cured by magic. I am sure that in the future when we are all made out of nanobots and have the ability to make replacement bodies we will be less concerned about maiming. But people can die and they can't be resurrected with commonly available magic in Harry Potter, so it does still at least seem like you would limit speeds to at least: "Don't allow people to straight up die."

6 reason: they need only one player in the team to win (it's seeker). Why do they've 6 yet?

What about the fact that doesn’t matter how many point you made if you catch the golden shut is GG

This is really funny.

I guess the brooms are specially made to be durable enough to ride

Quidditch is definitely not balanced but it’s still fun! Catching the snitch shouldn’t bring to many points! 50 at most! Not 150😅.

Also at High tournaments I think there would be many spells to prevent cheating!

Your commentary is so bloody awesome! Im going to scrounge through your channel right after finishing this one

I tried reading the first book years ago, but all the various stupidities of Quidditch ruined it.

Or what about the ridiculous scoring system. The seekers are basically the players who decide the outcome of the game, yet they don't take any part in scoring points before the golden snitch is caught. It's basically like having two teams playing basketball against each other, but each team has one player sitting on the bench solving a puzzle, and whoever completes it faster wins the game for the whole team.

Also there's no time limit. The ONLY way to end the game is for a seeker to catch the snitch, which gives their team 150 points! So unless your team is already winning by a blowout of 160 or more over the losing team, the quaffle points don't matter at all. Probably at least 95% of the time, winning only really depends on whichever team's seeker can catch the snitch the fastest. All the other players are supposed to do is keep up and make sure their team doesn't get absolutely walloped by the other team. Not much strategy involved there. And if you're a seeker, and your team is losing so bad that they are behind 160 points or above, there's no incentive to catch the snitch, unless the game is taking forever and you just want to end it already and accept defeat.

TNX a lot

The dumbest thing about quidditch is the golden snitch. There is no point in playing the rest of the game. It could be 140 to 0 then all of a sudden the snitch is caught and the team wins 150 to 140. What about if it's 160 to 0. Why would the Is losing team catch the snitch to end the game. What if it's 100 to 50. The golden snitch is caught game over and someone wins. Everything else is just a waste. I'm going to say it's because a woman wrote this book.

Infodump on my special interest time.
JK Terfling came up with quidditch to get back at an ex who was really into sports. She thought sports were stupid & she intentionally made up the most ridiculous, stupid game she could for the kids at her wizard school to play.
What makes it even better is that now it's a real sport AND it's the only mixed-gender, full-contact sport in the world (afaik) and it's become hugely popular among LGTBIA+ players who don't feel welcome in traditional sports. It's especially become a haven for trans people who are often barred from playing competitively in single-sex sports.
It's now been rebranded to Quadball, for two main reasons.
It's really hard to get sponsors for events when the name of your sport is trademarked by Warner Bros, no one want to put their logo on something that could potentially lead to being sued for copyright infringement.
Secondly, no one in the sport likes Rowldemort & she's become such a fascist we want to distance ourselves from her as much as possible.

“Quidditch is too violent for school children”
Mean while rugby and football in middle school

it's not mentioned in the main books but all brooms have a invisible cushion charm on it

its not nearly whats wrong with it. a player can just hold the main ball all the time and just go to the basket. like basketball but without dribbling. the whole game doesnt matter since if you catch the shitty gold ball you just win automatically.

Also why are there any unattractive people in the wizarding world. Just point wand at nose, instant rhinoplasty.

Man i miss ur videos brother. Hope youre good

What happened dude? You still alive?

The potion Ron drank was a placebo.
Snape was trying to prevent Harry from falling.
The rest of your rant, I have no issues with 👍