Sadism vs. lack of empathy

Sadism is not rare; it's extremely common. I'm very surprised that you'd assert otherwise. I'd say sadism has been becoming more and more tolerated for many decades. It's openly embraced by many evil people these days.

Also, I disagree with your definition of lack of empathy. It's more than a lack of awareness. In fact, clueless people may not lack empathy at all; autistics or "logic-driven" people, for instance, can be well-meaning and feel bad when they realize they've hurt someone. That remorse would be impossible without empathy. Empathy is a failure of the heart, not the mind. People without empathy or with low empathy can be fully aware of their effects on others. Or not. Either way, they just don't care.

With sadists, it's not that they don't care; they actually derive pleasure from others' suffering and go out of their way to harm others. They want and seek to know the full extent of their impact on their victims and encourage "communicating your feelings" to extract more demonic pleasure from their crimes/sins.

I feel like people confuse empathy with Compassion. Empathy is more about I sense & understand how you feel, But compassion means I Care how you feel, so having compassion with empathy makes you less capable of hurting anyone on purpose. Because these narcissists and antisocial type people they Know what they're doing, they just don't care, because they Like it, Or they're getting something out of it

Enjoying manipulative feelings other people , lack empathy, interest blood and watching violence film can you calm.

My dad got great pleasure and would laugh as he held a frog over my head when I was a child. I was afraid of frogs. I would go into a panic attack while he laughed and laughed.

My ex hated all types of comedy, especially standup comedy. But he couldn’t stop laughing at videos of people getting severely hurt, and he would get provoked by how a standup comedian “wants to be the center of attention”. He would laugh at me when I got hurt. Let’s just say it was a boring life. Glad I’m now in a “normal” relationship with a healthy person who have empathy and can laugh WITH me, not at me.

I don't agree. Sadistic narcissism is very common in group settings, public humiliation and which hunting is the thing out there. How about coercion isn't that the tool, the means of narcissistic sadists to destroy someone?

I have lack of empathy but I'm not sadistic. I just don't feel sad feelings... For myself or others, but not something that I caused. A sadistic person gets pleasure from others sadness, usually from something they caused. there is a world of difference

My dad is a sadistic narcissist. It's clear he gets a thrill when he sees he's succeeded in hurting someone's feelings with his degrading comments. It's interesting because he feels another person's pain keenly, but unlike empathic people, he gets pleasure rather than distress from it.

Noo

Yurk

He held sheers around a kittens neck and when i freaked out, he got angry at me and said I have no sense of humor. He has drugged and poisoned me and now when I am too paranoid to eat or drink from open or unattended sources, he laughs. He laughs. I wish the lack or empathy was the worst of it...

I know beyond a shadow of doubt that Don Barnes is a sexually sadistic predator. He preys on children and animals! He sexually molests children and animals and records it to view later on. I have TONS of video footage with proof of this, but no one will even take me seriously because it’s so crazy. I pray to God someone else will figure him out like I did and get him locked up. He is a very dangerous person

My father was sadistic. When I was 7 years old I was playing on a swing. He came up behind me and started pushing me higher and higher. I was frightened and started to scream in terror. He laughed and continued to push me higher. I never went near another swing. He enjoyed startling me especially when I was holding a hot beverage. My mother encouraged him in this behaviour by laughing along with him. He used a litany of put downs with both parents enjoying my distress. My young sister fainted after he slapped her badly sunburned back. He seemed to enjoy causing emotional and physical distress.

My 'brother' bursted in uncontrollable laughter the moment i told him i was filing for a divorce. It took me years to understand/accept what i ve seen. No one has ever hurt me more then he at that moment. I wanted to kill him.....he has hurt me so much its straight out of a horror movie. If an expert can comment i d appreciate. His behaviour has for more then a decade now made my life much harder then it has to be. ps I now know he has a penile problem....

Since i can remember, my father used to put out cigarettes on my hands, lock me in the cellar for days, choke me with a belt to uncontiousness, whip me with a belt or with cords, punch in the chest (broke even multiple rips and my sternum one time), torture me with an electric dog collar, pinning me with needles, leave me without food or drink, stomping on my feet and hands, torturing and killing my puppy, pulling out my hair, make me drink pure vinegar etc. I dont even remember everything. When i was about 15 i started to fight back and eventually ran away from home.

Does Bias have an effect on empathy?

Is it possible that the Sadism and Masochism be an interchangeable act between the EMPATH and the NARCISSIST?

Unrestricted empathy can allow a sadist or malignant narcissist to hurt you. So frustrating.

I suspected sadistic tendencies with my ex narcissist boyfriend, especially when I was trying to communicate with him about some changes that had occurred in our relationship. He just stared at me, when I asked him if he wanted add anything to the conversation he said no. When I asked him what he was thinking about he said.. “ how I like to bend your fingers backwards” Dr Ramini would you see this as an indicator of sadistic thinking?

I consider myself a sadist to some degree it developed in me throughout my life.
I have an on and off switch when it comes to empathy. It comes in droplets whenever I feel like you wholeheartedly deserved it. It’s saved for a few individuals only. To the whole world i am another creature.

Narcissism IS lack of empathy
Sadism is NOT.
A sadist has pleasure from long term calculating and gaining personal aims.
The narcissist not having empathy appears as if they were enjoying hurting us but they just don’t CARE.

Something very important to note. If you don’t have the empathic ability to care. You can’t care to see that person suffer in front of you.
It’s like if someone doesn’t have a thing they just can’t give it back. And the sadist has it but they are enjoying holding it back. :)

Great point dr!
“Most un-empathic people aren’t paying enough attention to you to even recognise what is happening to you. And as a result aren’t paying enough attention to your suffering to derive pleasure from it because they aren’t noticing you” 💯

My Dad got pleasure from bringing up past abuse and smirking and chuckling about it. While admitting that it was brutal.

I find interpreting sadism in narcissistic people in the replies here is absured , the narcissist hates and envy u that’s why he wants u to suffer and smirk if u did, that is a normal thing not sadisim, if someone hurts u badly then u felt happy when sth unfortunate happened to them that doesn’t mean you are a sadist!

My mom was sadistic. But my husband isn’t. I leveled up 😂😂😂😂

Is it OK having sadistic feelings against an opprtunist who has no issues to put others close to her in a harms way for her own benefit?

Waht if theyre a dark empath, sociopath and A SADIST?!

My whole life is made out of people lacking empathy and I am so tired of these people and so disgusted by these people that their lack of empathy just to develop self-hatred until I have kindness to myself again. I never received much empathy in my lifetime to the point of me not wanting to be here anymore

I have a few malignant narcissists targeting me

My opinion is sadism is for pleasure. Not having empathy is like it's just totally not turned on is the only way I could explain it

All sadist are psychopaths

My mother has both.

It's really insane how much a person can lack self awareness. For some reason I attract sadistic partners. My ex and I were sitting outside, and he caught a fly in his hands. And I said "what are you doing?" And he told me that he likes to rip the fly's wings off so that they can never fly again. And proceeded to remove the fly's wings. I was horrified. The poor fly!! That was one of the first unfortunate signs that he was not a good person. How could he not have thought I'd be disturbed by that though?! Another ex who I was with when I was much younger, many years ago, told me he enjoyed catching eels on his fishing rod, dipping them into the fire, just enough to sizzle their skin and then dip them back into the water, over and over, and then set it free so that it would suffer in pain the rest of its life. I left him obviously, but never forgot that. There are some real sickos out there.

My partner died......I told my cousin I was grieving..........The reply..."Whets the matter...Never seen a dead person before".......Wow.

why am I so scared that I think I'm sadistic? and it’s causing a lot of anxiety. can someone please reply

One evening in those final months (of 26 years) before I filed for divorce, he was once again berating me and giving me the usual emotional beat down and as usual I was crying so hard and begging him to stop. But in desperation on this night I said, “Please, please stop. It will take me weeks to recover.” I had never said that before. In all of our years together I had never articulated a recovery time, but for some reason that night, I did. I will NEVER forget the look on his face as I sobbed this reality to him. As I said “…weeks to recover” his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Elation was the only real word to describe the expression on his face. In fact, I’m not sure I had ever seen him so happy. It quickly went away of course, concealed in his contempt for me but there was no unseeing that. Nor was there any unseeing him for what he was after that. I later went on to learn about narcissism and learned that his horrible behavior over the years was not only intentional but done for his pleasure. Christmases, birthdays, vacations, kids’ events and 26 years of my life were ruined.
On purpose.
For his pleasure.
His pleasure.

From what you say my ex was definitely a sadis

I do not believe that sadism stems from a lack of empathy; rather I believe that sadist s have an acute understanding of suffering and derive pleasure that suffering. As a result, I believe that sadists have a better understanding of people's emotions than most normal people. On the other hand, a lack of empathy stems from ignorance, meaning that those people whom suffer from lack of empathy are not emotionally intelligent, whatsoever. Sadism manifests in behavior impulsively, while a lack of empathy stems from a lack emotional competency. Thus, SPD (sadistic personality disorder) is much closer in diagnostic criteria for OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) than any form of psychopathy.

I’m not a psychologist but I’d have to disagree with her conclusion that sadists are also psychopathic (lacking empathy). Empathy on its own says nothing with regards to how one behaves in response to another person’s behavior. Lack of of awareness of the other’s emotional/mental states is what we refer to as lack of empathy. It is a disconnect of “oneness” or connection with the other person. Sadism on the other hand, necessitates some understanding of the other person’s mental/emotional state. It is necessary for a sadist to have some sort of “emotional response” and thus an awareness of the other person’s emotional/mental state in order to even be classified as a sadist. They depend on their understanding/perception of another’s suffering in order to derive pleasure, and conversely, to perceive joy in another order to derive pain (or disinterest). Sadistic people don’t lack empathy. I know because I’m a sadist, and I have the capacity for compassion just as much as any other person—and I also believe that everyone has a bit of sadism within them that they just rarely get to experience/realize (because they are too busy being the victim for someone else’s sadistic endeavors, and they disguise themselves as the “angel of compassion and empathy” ). I know because i have seen faint glimmers of sadism in the eyes of even the most “good people”, but they could never know themselves because the moment I confront them with that fact, they feel assaulted, and then they suffer and then it is gone.

It’s really just a matter of controlling your sadism and using it for good (such as when defending/fighting against another sadist). Sadism is also a type of projected masochism. You are aware of another’s pain, and because you are aware, and because you “see yourself in the other” (this is the unconscious mechanism by which you are even empathic to begin with) you are in a way, killing/hurting a part of yourself when you hurt another person. We are each in each other, that is why we can feel love, connection and growth. But we can also hate ourselves, and if we hate ourselves, we can hate those whom we see ourselves within. Someone who hates themselves, who is also able to empathize with people, will learn to hate others as much as they hate themselves. This, in my estimation, is the conflict of the sadist.

They hate the parts of themselves which they see in the other which they would like to destroy—so they take pleasure when the other is suffering in a way which reflects subconsciously the destruction of their own selves. Or they feel compassion when they see the best parts of themselves (the parts of themselves that they love) grow and flourish in the other (they feel joy when the other has joy).

Is this because / due to child trauma experienced in the past? Like growing from bad family, yelling bad cursing parents etc.. ?

There is a old joke -- a guy tell his friend that his bother is crazy and thinks he's a chicken, and his friend says "why don't you have him committed to a hospital?" In response the guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." I think sadism is considered rare because sadists are not likely to call themselves out. I don't think it is rare at all -- however, the levels were we recognize it and label it are rare. Too often we confuse sadism with sexual sadism. But as noted in the video, it is simply deriving pleasure from someone else's suffering. The pleasure does not have to be sexual, it may be little different than the pleasure that might come from eating chocolate cake -- dopamine, regardless of the trigger is still dopamine. Additionally, I think there is such a thing as sadism by proxy. For example, when people find pleasure in creating suffering around a woman's reproductive health, they can claim that they didn't pass the legislation, however, they still derive pleasure from knowing that a woman or multiple women will have their lives horribly impacted by the new toxic rules. That is sadism by proxy. Or Biden saying that Israel's actions are "over the top" as thousands of children suffer horribly, is sadism by proxy at a minimum, and direct sadism at worst. Would most people say that Biden is a sadists, no. However, I think there is a good argument that he is, and a good argument, that sadism is much more common that generally accepted.

It is the female version of doing the pipe through alma....

WOW good thing theres a hell for them. 😂😋

My narc mom is a straight up sadist!

I don't know wether schizophrenia

Too sad

Racketeering

hi, i am a 66 year old unarmed Christian lady in Philadelphia, i am protected by Jesus Christ. and: if you are within 250 air miles of my vicinity, i fear for your life.

Sadism is rooted in western thought and behavior

There should be something the government can do, because sometimes victims of sadists have no legal recourse. NO LEGAL RECOURSE. That means I have to take the law into my own hands!!