5 MUST KNOW SIGNS of EMOTIONAL ABUSE

My younger sister did this, sarcasm, remarks, jokes in public. After that she asked to drive me home together ( we were at my mother's house).
I told her no, I planned to drive back with mom".
I didn't want to be in a car with my sister bc she shamed me during dinner.

My sister ran upstairs bc I rejected to drive with her.
Then she ran back down and yelled at me "maybe go see a psychiatrist"!
Wow.

Bc I didn't do what she wanted?
Still hurts and bc i took distance from her my mother later asked me "are you jealous at your sister?
I always felt my sister was jealous at me so all of this, the injustice of reversed framing and humiliation made me walk away from that.

Me when I realize every single one of these things happened to me growing up

No podía tener una relación con mi padre, tenía una madre emocionalmente indisponible. Trabajó tanto que cuando pasaba tiempo conmigo se quedaba dormida. Encontré mi salvador romántico y mi sistema de apoyo parental en un amigo que tenía que es autista y no sé cómo me cuidó cuando necesitaba más ayuda que yo. Lamentablemente, su familia y sus antecedentes eran bastante violentos, por lo que a menudo usaba palabras agresivas hacia mí. Resultó ser una relación codependiente que no ayudó a nadie. y ahora ambos necesitamos ayuda. mi error fue apegarme tanto a una persona que me dejó porque necesitaba espacio y yo no lo respetaba. .

My in laws to a T

wow I didn't know that sarcasm could be hurtful I mean my family is incredible rude and say after something that's upset me "Get over yourself I'm joking" or "Get over it I am being sarcastic"

Withholding

It is already established with myself and my therapist. My mother is abusive.
Here's is the thing when you are mentally abused, you do not have a scar or a bruse to show.
I had told my best friend, & she chuckled & said no she is not. She may be a little strict & is blut. She's not abusive.
She didn't even let me go into details or she didn't ask any questions. She just chuckled and told me she doesn't believe me.
So there's two people in the world that I trust the most my husband and my best friend.
I told my husband, he said these these therapists nowadays think everyone was abusive. He doesn't like the way she talks to me sometimes, but I can be too sensitive sensitive.
I was shocked. This is after seeing my second therapist for awhile. Because my first one said that my mother was abusive.
I stopped seeing him. I go to another therapist I like him a lot, if you're seeing him for awhile, he says your mother is abusive.
I tried to talk to my mother, I get two words out of my mouth and she freaked out.
I did not tell her what the therapist said.
She did say you must talk about me negatively to the therapist.
I can't take her freaking out because that's when she becomes really mean and will say things that cut like a knife.
I do not go around telling everyone this.
I told the two people I trusted the most.
Both made me feel like I was being silly I was so embarrassed. So I can't talk to them about it.
So how the hell do I work on this. I will continue going to the therapist but having to my husband & not being able to say anything.
I finally felt like I had a breakthrough, that just maybe I can start my journey to healing.
Now I don't know. The two people who know me the best and I trust didn't believe me. Maybe is the way talk to the therapist??
Maybe meet with the problem??
I didn't think I was too harsh but maybe I was. This has affected me, my entire life.
I work but I feel like I would be would have been more successful. Because I take crippling anxiety attacks, I get so nervous around crowds, & or work , I start stuttering.
I have the one job in the place where I work with numbers and my desk is away from everyone else's most people.
I've been working here for years I would never ask for promotion ask for promotion or a raise. I am so scared of getting fired because I don't know if I would be able to go out into the world to get another job.
My self-esteem low.
I have never heard a compliment out of my mother's mouth. I was a swimmer, and was pretty good at it would win awards.
She would say big deal its swimming.
She will always yell at me what is wrong you?? I would say I don't know. She said it so often I thought something is wrong with me. She saidyou'll never have to worry about college you're not smart enough. She said this since eighth grade. I never even bothered to try to college.
When I was going through some old stuff of mine I found report cards & I was shocked, there was A's and B's on it. I could have sworn failed classes, a lot.
Oh yes, her calling me fat. Looked at old pictures which I am not many. Because I thought I look like a fat ugly troll.
I looked at the pictures through the years and he asked myself when was I fat??
These are mild stuff. I don't want anyone to think I am trauma dumping, by laying on some dark s***. These are just mild examples.
What do you do? When you have absolutely no one to talk to outside of your your therapist? I don't expect an answer I should be asking ha. Is just that I am embarrassed to tell my therapist. To say my husband that I love and he loves me too, doesn't believe me, my best friend for years that I trust and love she also doesn't believe me.
I'm afraid you might judge me and think, why don't they believe her?? Is she lying to me??
I'm not looking for a response I just wanted to vent. Thanks😉✌️
Side note- oh I spoke up about it and no one believes me.
I had a high school counselor, who noticed, in his words that I look terrified when I am with my mother. He asked me if I wanted talk. I cried, I just said she puts a lot of pressure on me, but I'll be okay. He called my mother up to talk to her.
When the screaming of her telling me how dare I embarrass her like that.
She told me not to tell anyone about it.
She said the rest of the family thinks you are weird enough.
Oh and I forgot to say, my dad send to me on his death bed, then he knows that my mother can be cold to me, but promised him I would take ot her.
So there's that guilt.
Crazy thing is I have a younger brother, he is her Golden child. He lives 15 minute & never is there for her. She forgives him, has a lot going on ,in his life, very important stuff.
Sorry for the long rant. Have a great weekend everyone 😄

Dad acts put out to do anything for me, he was angry that I reminded about my birthday. He was caustic. I don't want to be hurt by him(mostly emotional and verbal). I deserve a better dad! I won't engage with him at his pitiful level. I won't stoop to his level. I am not engaging with him like I used to. I won't take blame for his rudeness and narcissistic comments "I'm sorry Jackie(not!) I was busy visiting or calling someone." He talks and acts like I don't matter at all. It hurts.

my dad tells me that he wishes that i wasn't born, that I'm his greatest mistake, how much he hates me. What did I do to deserve this? I get bullied at school and have depression, my dad always blames me for it, say it's my fault, that me being effected by the near daily torment at school make me weak. I have been diagonised with depression and I have syptoms such as feeling extremely tierd all day, and having basically no motivation. That being said, I do okay in school, not amazing, but fine. I put all my effort in that, so I have no energy to clean my room or anything like that. My dad screams at me and tells me motivation is bullshit, that i just have to do it, he just doesn't fucking understand. He makes me feel like I wish i didn't exist

It’s so much more damaging cause it drags on.

I wish I knew this when I was a kid. My dad is a monster. Still healing from this and about to start therapy. Thank you for making and sharing this video

Teachers did this to me. I had undiagnosed ADHD and am a girl.

✅✅✅✅✅ …yeah 😅

I remember when i was a teenager i was making a can of soup. I had such little confidence in myself i had to ask my mother (who is also my abuser) step by step instructions because i though i was going to mess it up.

I had 0 confidence
0 self esteem
0 hope
0 will to live

I attempted suicide by trying to get hypothermia. I stripped down to my underwear and laid in the snow at night until the sun came up (about 7 hours). I don't know if i ever did get hypothermia or not, my mental state was complete chaos so I'm not sure if it was hypothermia or the effects of my mental breakdown i was feeling. But i never told anyone about this attempt.

Now as an adult i can't trust people, i have social anxiety, disassociative disorder, and schizoid personality disorder. I never had a girlfriend and have no guy friends. I'm really lonely.

Sounds just like Dad; all of the above items! Dad's the narcissist!I get the blame especially when he's at fault! 👢I will paraphrase Nancy Sinatra's song "These Boots Are Made for Walking...all over you"

Kati, I have tried to "teach" the narcissist; he is not listening! A lousy student!

an argument with my parents is (being fully honest) us both saying something, me just voicing my opinion but to them im being cheeky, a fight happened with my mother and me a few minutes ago for example;
I spotted a bottle was dripping, I told her.
''someone probably knocked it over. its not a big deal.''
I picked it up and told her that it had a hole in the bottom and she started yelling at me because I raised my voice a little.
she told me to keep my mouth shut and so I said ''Yeah. I will.'' her ''bad hearing'' mistook it for me telling her to keep HER mouth shut and went and told my dad, then when I yelled saying shes lying and thats not what I said, she hit me on my shoulder blade and walked away.

I heard chidren who are never touched, are 75 percent moe likely to become pregnant, as a teen, than children with affectionate parents. How true is this?

Whenever u realise or notice or that someone is constantly 'singling u' out for personal attacks whether in the form of verbal put downs, unjust criticisms, judging etc regardless if it's from a parent, sibling, co worker, relatives etc, know that the person could be a narcissist. Distance urself from them if u can but if that isn't possible, learn how to 'manage' them, how to 'navigate' ur life around them while staying focused on ur life goals n happiness.

My mother was very emotionally abusive for a long time and still is but now it’s not as bad because I avoid her even though every time I’m around her she mentions it and will criticize a lot of things, I don’t think she realizes she’s doing I think it’s just how she is, she was physically and emotionally abused as a child so I think she just doesn’t know how to do it differently, my older sister is really emotionally abusive though, she does it randomly too, so you never know if she’ll leave you alone for the most part or if you will be put down, like she calls me a slut, a dumbass, lazy, stupid, overdramatic, etc but will expect me to be there for her any time anything happens and she’s upset

tha nks

I am a survivor of this. My mom definitely was like this to me before she passed away. I need help finding a good person to go to

I have had to get, and still get help for the harm(verbal, emotional, (verbally sexually abusive)) He acts if I am the one with the problem; it is him; always has been; it won't continue. I deserve a much better father and uncle(one of his brothers) and their late mother,the enabler (grandmother). I did nothing to bring any of this onto me.

Dad tries to control conversations and responses(mine) beginning when I was 12 1/2 and still acts this way; he projects his his insecurity onto me; he blamed me for all of it though all of it was/is his fault. He is brother is like him. Their mother expected me to go along with the garbage as if he still has parental control over me(I am 59 now). He thinks he is perfect; blameless and nitpicks at me; shaming me. I didn't ask for his opinion. I get the "silent treatment" he expects me to read his mind. Ow.

"No, my gf isn't absuive. Sure, she makes me feel small sometimes, most of the time..., but she's going through a lot of stress at work and stuff. Plus, I'm probably coming on too strong, I'm a clingy person. If she makes me feel this way, she must be upset. I must have made her upset. I feel guilty that I keep making her upset."

When she broke up with me, I was devastated. Now, I'm relieved and reading other people's stories, I'm lucky I got out before she could completely hollow out my soul. Now comes the healing.

Oh gosh so much of this sounds like my husband !

Could you please explore the topic of a parent using a child to vent about very adult topics? My mother discussed my father’s affairs (he was a serial adulterer, for his part) in extreme detail as far back as I can remember and continued. I’m 50 now. She is no longer alive but the impact persists.

Leaving this comment here so this gets recommended to whoever needs it 😢

Good, God. My female general practitioner who’s 18 years younger than me eventually turned the relationship into this. Back in April she trauma-bonded me to her by performing an uninvited genital exam on me. In other words, I got molested by her right in front of the female nurse who was supposed to be acting as the chaperone. It took about two years for everything to come together.

She’s exactly one adult lifetime younger than me, and yet with her power over me as my doctor, she completely took over as a parental figure engaging in both emotional and sexual abuse. I have had to dig DEEP to gently push back, very, very gently. I think I might have made it work. I made some progress. Now I have simply put her actions in a spotlight … in an email and shown her … in a subtle way … that there are legal repercussions for what she has done .. but if she will just apologize to me. I will forgive her. If not … then I probably have to complain to the medical board.

My doctor is a married mother of four boys with a fifth child on the way. This thing is so surreal. It’s like being in a movie. And the fact my doctor put me on Prozac, a psychotropic drug is complicating things further. The psychological dimensions are so deep. They span decades of my own psychology I thought I had moved on from.

🤦‍♂️

Kati is correct, the emotional abuse is usually gradual and over a long period of time. I did not see it until the end of a 29 year relationship and marriage. When I finally did see it and realize that he was never going to be who he was in the beginning of our relationship, and would never stop the abuse, I left him. It took everything I had to finally leave. It was hard and I was scared. However, it was so worth it. I learned so much about myself. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I did get the help that I needed. For anyone out there that is going through this, I want you to know that you are so worth it. I want you to know that you can leave and get the help that you need to grow and thrive. ❣❣

I just realized I've done #1 to someone I've dated and I feel absolutely awful! 😮😢

Holding back on attention or affection is a horrible thing to do to a kid

Children today are in a much better situation than those of us who grew up without an internet. With internet you can talk with others and find information. As a child I had absolutely nobody to talk with. Even when I was 20 I had still no idea that the way my parents acted was not normal. I didn't get internet before a few years after after I moved out, and then it was too late. Today I know my parents would fail every test about what it means to be a good parent.

1 through 4.

I had an ex boyfriend but I don’t know if he was emotionally abusive or not but he did tend to blame a lot and it seemed like he could never be wrong

I m grateful for this video!thank you!This one is precious to heal my own emotional abuse especially that I m a specialist in Mental Health!

Wow everything in the video I have totally experienced and I'm 53 and can say wow I'm glad I found this video today and now I have subscribe to the channel🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

From current abusive neighbors trying to put me in their relationship and sabotage my future love life because of their narcissism to my dad trying to control me and ruin my life and keep me in a box like I'm a princess in a tower😢
Everyone wanting to call me names like being too harsh or a witch that can start with a "B" because I set boundaries and I tried to take no abuse but people are very trying these days and also desperate

I am a survivor of this and I am in therapy and I wear diapers to heal my inner child

My dad degrades me its disrespectful my dad does treat me like a child he does control my spending my dad never apologizes he causes its wrong

Hi Kati, I had saved this video and sent it along with a letter to a friend of mine… This was back in 2017. And unfortunately, I am in the same relationship, but speaking for myself, which is causing a lot of problems… He keeps saying I’ve changed yes because I am not going to let him keep putting me down. The only thing is, which is where I think he’s going to focus on, he doesn’t do this in public because I don’t go out in public, too much. He prefers when I am home away from people. He thinks people don’t like me and I don’t get along with people. This is not true. He often refers to the fact that I don’t get along with my own family that is because every single one of them is an ignorant alcoholic. that put me down and have since I was a child. I just don’t get it… I am a extremely strong person who is also ADD, bipolar, ASD, and used to have OCD because of this ASS. If I say there is nothing wrong with me, they will put me on the nuthouse. If I say I have unmedicated ADD. They will say I’m on drugs when I say I need ADD medication. They will say you just want more drugs.. when I say, I don’t need anything they’re like yeah Right take your medication

Women do all of these things and have for decades, they know they do it and only got worse over time. Its so blatant

Always put down by my classmates. Always the butt of the jokes by teachers and classmates. Unfortunately, I have had pastors who have done this to me in the past. It is to the point where I am afraid to say anything that might set them off. They have questioned everything I said or did. No one has ever offered to apologize for their actions or even take any responsibility. As matter of fact, I have been accused of being both lazy and dishonest. It isn't only parents who are guilty of giving the "silent" treatment. I have seen pastors do it as well. I am certain that if I really tried to think about my life, I would see instances of all five signs of emotional abuse in my life. Please forgive the running commentary as I have a very short memory and need to comment on the fly. Thank you for your patience.

All of the things you said my dad is doing and I cried in tears

I apologize all the time a little to much.

When i tell my ex how i feel. He blows up he breaks my things

The worst feeling is when you watch a video like this and look back and see the moments you've engaged in these behaviors.

hello all of you. Im jason from Wisconsin. Im new to this channel and i would like the support form all of you. Heres a little about me. I come from a dysfunctional family where they were very controlling to me and my sister. Growing up when we were in school, we had homework, then chores and after that fun which wasnt much. In the last 6 yrs soon to be 7 i have been dealing with tons of stress and emotional issues. In 2016, my parents went to prison on sexual charges from having inapproate relations for 12 yrs wo me knowing about it. I was verbally and emotionally abused as a child. A yr later i was forced from my family home after 29 yrs of living in that home. I lived in the city for 7 years until i moved back to the country only for 3 months. I was working in a bar/restaurant as a dishwasher and everything else. In late oct of 22, i got tied of the stress and i quit that job. They drove me back into town and just left me there. I slept outside as a homeless person for the 1st time. a couple weeks later i moved into a warming shelter until feb of 23. Im currently sleeping at work while working there. Thank you for letting me vent.

It hurts to listen to this, but it is so true. I am working hard to try to heal from over 40 years of emotional abuse. Thank you Kati for all your videos.

I stone wall just because I don’t want to hear that I’m too sensitive or that I make a too big of a deal about something.