r/AmITheA**Hole is Insane #14

I don't agree with the guy with no steak. Totally get what pregnant girl was feeling, you literally sometimes can not control it. The smell just makes you thrown up in your mouth and slowly die inside. Yes, she can handle it better, but so is that 27 y. O. prick. Girl is pregnant, what is his excuse?

With the first story I dont see the problem cooking isn't a women thing it's part of adulting and if they just ask you to cook it not that big of a deal.

The rich dude that takes food from pantries and throwing away most of it, so kids that desperately need it go to bed hungry, is absolute trash.

Imagine being such an amoral creepshow that you steal from ppl in poverty.
That's some Captain Planet villain -level nonsense, right there.

Would you jump in a pool knowing that there's guaranteed to be baby pee in it? I wouldn't. I doubt the other kids in the story would. Ava was thinking of them, but OP was only thinking of having to handle their screaming toddler. Yikes

I hate how psychology terms get thrown around thanks to the internet. I don't think the sister knows what a "golden child" is, nor do most people

Watching this before I go to work. Thanks for helping me pass the time.

Anyone who makes $200,000 a year that goes to thw food bank for grocwriws is an entitled piece of shit whi steaks from the poor because he can. This would be a dealbreaker for me, and I doubt many people would want a person who does this in their lives.

If my fiance went behind my back and uninvited my family there would no longer be a wedding.

There are ways to handle the 1st one and not be the ahole, 1) suggest that she not come wuite yet so she has more power in the family when she first arrives (i.e. they are more serious or if its to that point make her a fiancée before then so she has to be accepted) or spend the time with hwr in the kitchen showing you both are equals to you without upsetting the patriarchy standards.
Mind you these are only ways to do this without ruffeling feathers, im all for riffeling bigoted feathers but i also understand the goal of not since i had to bring my whole family around to queer people even though now nobody practically is entirely cis/het (to clarify my family has a long tradition of [to me] proud queer members including my grandma, great grandfather, other great grand mother, other grandma,ect... all the way back to my great great great great great grear great great great great grandmother and great great great great great great great great uncle who were both famously queer (sir issac newton and his mother who tried to marry a woman according to family tradition between newton and his siblings' fathers) to many this was a shameful secret since they found it a moral failure since they all felt that way in some way and had shunned that for god, i taught them that that is gods will for them it wasnt indoctrination it was education
Edit: for note i wrote this before watching the reactions i like putting my ideas down first so i can know i had my own idea despite the fact that other people had the same idea as me

The difference is a public pool is public a private pool is private, to those not as well versed in pool upkeep it costs a lot of money to offset a pools ph if ppl pee in it, especially a small private pool (imagine a dozen people peeing for every one in a private pool for comparison)

Last one not the ahole for anything he did BUT the ahole for when he did, wait a sec, let her shine thrn be yourself, dont get me wrong the sister sounds homophobic and thats its own thing but the timing makes you both assholes

I don't mind being a mushroom. Mushrooms are awesome!!

⚠️Way too serious take on the duckling calculator one cuz im high⚠️
"My duckling fell asleep on my calculator professor, and i dont know about you sir/ma'am but i decuded to live and care for that duckling as my own, i made that commitment so my homework is less important than my duties as a caretaker"
This is not a joke this is not a troll i fundamentally belief that if you are responsible for a life you are responsible for a life (sorrry i am going to be kingdomist here plants, fungi, bacteria, and archaea do require less upkeep) but you are responsible to a life any way you cut it its living and you have to meet its needs or youve failed, you can categorize these failures as didferent than others but they are still all failures to maintain life

i was a bit afraid of what the last post's comments would be because i can relate to the older sister so much...

i'm the oldest kid in our family and even tho i love all my cousins i still feel resentment over how they are treated by our family compared to how i'm treated...i was always judged harshly and had stricter rules than the younger members, nothing i did was good enough and my failures were "unforigable" but if my cousin failed they were consoled and told "it's okay, you're just a human"...i'm the black sheep of the family and i have to work so damn hard to earn respect or at least acknowledgement from my family whereas it's freely given to my cousins...so i totally understand the op's sister's viewpoint because she apparently had to put so much effort into having a good relationship with her future in-laws and then her younger brother just comes in and is immediately given better treatment from the start and then he even threatens to ruin her relationship with the in-laws she worked so hard for??? it really doesn't seem fair and sometimes the younger kids just really don't know how much easier they had it growing up (or some of them even now as adults)

Pool story: OP cannot have a good time at the barbecue, because her youngest will be watching all of the kids have fun without him and will be upset. The whole time. So realistically, she had to leave early.
"Ava" can say only toilet-trained kids in the pool, but it was stupid and inconsiderate not to mention that before they came, or even before the kid was literally putting his swimsuit on. At that point, she did cause a lot of drama and honestly should have let it slide.
But OP was still being a drama queen and needs to accept that it was one party that went poorly, and she needs to move on.

For the first one, what about her first impression of his family? Is that important to the boyfriend?

My family was really poor growing up. I remember standing for hours in the cold with my mother in a food bank line just because it would be the only food we'd be able to have, dozens of us lined up for hours before it even opened, just so we could be soon enough to be able to get something to put in our bellies through the week. The idea of somebody well off literally taking the food out of starving families' mouths, out of their childrens' mouths, is fucking disgusting

Bruh that second one. He said he was cooking steak which isnt fucking cheap and she wasted it just cause she didnt like the smell? If it was that big a deal she could have left with her boyfriend. I get some smells and tastes can trigger nausea in pregnacy but theres no reason to throw it away.

and the last one, I myself have seen my brother put on the pedestal simply because hes going to the military. He gets special treatment and my mom dismisses his actions. In private when its just me and him hes so verbally abusive and any time i snap back he goes crying to my mom that i was being mena even though i suck up his verbal abuse. He cusses at me, he yells, he calls me crazy, he tells me to calm down when i ask him to stop raising his voice. Today i finally told my stepdad how ive felt and that its been happinging for years now and every day i was thinking about sui*ide.

Golden child syndrome is real and it nearly drove me to an early death.

the one with the pregnant girlfriend throwing away food is actually more complicated than it seems at first glance. pregnancy can severely impact your sense of smell and taste and make you very sensitive to certain ones. it can also cause you to feel sick easier. therefore, i dont think that girl wad being particularly rude at all. also the comment after that post was pretty insensitive as we dont know all the details, like whether this was a planned or wanted pregnancy and what the laws about abortion are where they live. its a lot of missing information and its easy to see why she would seem like the asshole but if you read into it more it seems as though she is not. however i also dont think that op is an asshole because while their actions were rude, they were driven by ignorance, and they didnt know any better.

Not gonna lie, I'm side-eying a 27 year old and a 19 year old. He's almost a decade older than her and she's pretty much attached to him for life with a baby on the way.

The mum in the pool story is ABSOLUTELY the A-hole. How dare someone not want a diaper full of poo in their pool... Also, the kid is 3 years old, wtf is he in diapers??? That's way too old for diapers! And "plenty of kids and adults pee in pools and it's fine" like... WHAT??? Are you just telling your host that you would find it totally acceptable to make them, together with your whole family, swim in pee??

I don't get the last one. What is this, musical chairs? OP didn't do anything wrong: they met someone they liked, they get along with their family... It's not like she was marrying the same guy her sister did, for god's sake.

That guy taking food from the food bank while he is rich?!! Not only that, he took way more then he could ever use?? That is some sick sh*. I would be taking an idefinite break from that one!

wats the game in the backround it looks hela fun

Dick KingSmith HQ has some lovely wholesome content!

I really hope that the woman with a food hoarder husband gets him to seek help; I am familiar with a similar situation, and he is being the a-hole, but he liekly finds it really difficult to stop. He probably gets a thrill, and left to his own devices would fill the house with rotting food.

The story of the guy who takes from food banks despite not dealing with food insecurities made my jaw drop.
That is so not ok, so WILDLY not ok - people who use those places have few if any other options about where they can get food, and if those places run out they go hungry.
The fact that he doesn’t care and is prioritizing a free meal when he has other options, knowing that it means that others have to go entirely without, is disgusting - it goes so far past the point of frugality, that’s a matter of not giving a f*ck about whether other people are getting their basic needs met.

I’d leave him, that person is heartless, not cheap. 💯

If I was the woman in the first story I would ask him: ok, imagine if my family were rabidly racist, he was Mexican, and there was a Family Tradition where any members of the family who weren't white had to go clean and do laundry whilst the white family members took a fancy afternoon cream tea in the parlor. If he was not white then ooops, no scones and jam for him, too bad. Better satisfy himself with polishing the rosewood chiffoniere in the drawing room. Them folks with anything less than a sour cream complexion gotta do menial tasks if they got to make a good first impression.

Oh sure like fuck I could imagine him going along with THAT bullshit just to 'keep the peace' What a titanic asshole.

I think, situation with a pool could be avoided if they got a little pool (the inflatable one) for a 3-year-old kid
obviously, 3-year-old would want to go into the water and get extremely upset (also, other kids will pee in the pool as well, like it's mentioned in other comment lol but whatever)

"Ava" should have discussed it all beforehand

I see where Ava is coming from 10000% as someone who isn’t a fan of germs myself (that being said, chlorine can and WILL take care of that). However, she should have made this clear at the beginning if her nephew was the ONLY kid who wouldn’t be able to swim. She successfully removed him from the rest of his cousins and siblings for an afternoon. Again, with that being said, I still lean to the side of the mom being the bigger asshole as she blew it up in front of her child and the rest of the guests AND continued to keep the argument going even after Ava reached out. I would understand wanting a more in-depth apology for something bigger, but honestly reaching out at all was good enough imo.

i understand it’s hard to have upset kiddos, but there are ways to fix that situation easily… and at the end of the day it’s not her pool.

The Clifford wholesome post made my day 🥹

As someone who needs foodbanks that guy is absolutely completely disgusting

Last story. I agree with the second comment. Falling in love happens sometimes so you aren't the Asshole for that. However. That doesn't mean I'm on your side OP. In fact. I was about to be on your side until you brought up telling her in laws.

Ahh, well off people taking away from the needy. And the cycle continues. Beautiful.

If someone throws away MY steak I would kick them out. NTA.

Sexist Family/Boyfriend = Why is she the one responsible for making a good first impression by cooking for your family, when she is not family and is a guest in your family's home. Get your crap together honey or you're gonna end up kissing your girlfriend goodbye.

Pretty sure the lady who married the food bank guy actually married Scrooge McDuck in disguise.

If i was married to the food bank thief, id report him to all local banks then leave him. Thats disgusting behavior

At work listening

I'm gonna add something extra to the first story: a woman who refuses to do the cooking will be viewed as lazy. the protest makes her life hell. a man doing something has no excuse for kicking him out‚ especially if you actually know what You're doing.
it boils down to: if you are of the grouping that's uplifted and aided by this issue, then your protest that takes away that privilege means way more than the one torn down over it.

Ok, we're starting out with a bang! I just don't get the first OP! What your family has isn't a "tradition". It's continued sexism. Whether or not your protest will do anything or not is irrelevant. Change takes courage and has to start somewhere. Set a precedent and stand by your girlfriend.

My kid, not my pool. Drop it lady! Yes AH…

Sister’s in-laws: Going against the grain and saying NTA. If he’s liked more than his sister, even though she’s known them longer, maybe there’s a reason for that? Also, sure, his response (which we don’t know was his first one, it was just the only one he listed) was to tell the in-laws, but he didn’t. People have stupid thoughts all the time, but they don’t always go through with it. He realized it would just make matters worse, so he didn’t do it.