How to Know if You're Transgender: A Different Approach

I've been recently questioning if I am trans (I'm 20+). I love men so much that I myself would prefer to be one. However I don't have any traditionally masculine traits. Maybe I just find myself unattractive as a woman and I want to look masculine to feel attractive. I've been feeling uncomfortable in my body since forever but I'm not sure if it's related to my sex. Although I really dislike my breasts. I am overweight on the edge of obesity and they are very big. I would prefer to not have periods but who wouldn't? I feel a little excitement when I think about the idea of taking testosterone. I wouldn't mind if someone mistook me for a man. But if I were a man I would probably on the more feminine side anyway.
There are actually 2 things I am concerned about if I were to transition
1. A very petty one and it's excessive hair growth. Like body and facial hair I don't really want that
2. Dating. I am asexual/demisexual but androphillic. I would like to be in a romantic relationship with a man. If I were to transition it takes straight men out of the picture but also all men that are not into trans people. I can't find a partner now I can only imagine how difficult it would be if I were trans
I guess I can try taking little steps like cutting my hair short (which I am considering) and see if that makes me more comfortable in my body.

Wanting to be a guy, and perceiving myself as a guy most times, made me feel bad. Thinking "if my family knew I'm feeling like this", "I must hate my body and using it as a excuse", "I must be a misogynist", or feeling bad looking at any cis guy who looks like I would've wished to be born. Overall, it is a pretty bad experience for me. So I'm so confused :,] I don't even know, I must be too focused on the gender or something...
I'll try the tip on journaling, and come back in 3 months. I'll update then, remind me if you see I forgot sbfhbhf

This is such an underrated video, more people need to understand this perspective about being trans.

Laughable bullshit.

Smart + Anxious + Autistic + Transgender + Philosopher's mindset = Non stop thinking

me getting recommended this while going on 5 months on testosterone.. LMAO

Thank you for the video! I love listening to the unique introspective of other people who live the transgender experience.

I’m a late bloomer (36) and only came out 4 years ago. For the first 3 years I dealt with significant internal transphobia before I seriously started HRT 12 months ago.

I tried to make transition a chance. I really gave it a lot of thought as I radically changed from one gender extreme to the other. Ultimately, the thing that made me commit to transitioning was accepting that despite not wanting it, I am trans and that I believed I would rather live my life as a woman.

Since making my decision, I have seen a lifetime of chronic depression and anxiety just stop being an issue I’ve found that I can actually live my life instead of my life living me❤

This intro is calling me out......

The "if you're questioning if you're trans, you're probably trans" argument is horrible. Everyone is wondering who they are and what their identity is. Statistically, there is an over 99% chance that you are NOT trans. And if you have something much more common, like a disorder caused by improper identity development in childhood or sexual trauma, you might experience dysphoria. Not because you're trans. There are trans people. They are valid. And you should take time with a qualified mental health professional to work through trauma and figure out what the source of any identity issues and dysphoria might be. The answer COULD be that you are trans. But it is way less likely that you are trans than those feelings being explained by other sources.

I didn't know your channel before but when the words "choice under uncertainty" came out of your mouth I instantly knew...

You could even say I clocked you as an economist

Gender identity is the unfalsifiable claim of a sexed soul. There are also no differences between “cis” brains and “trans” brains once you control for sexual orientation. Gender nonconformity is natural and has always existed. Transgenderism is a culture-bound syndrome, which is obvious when you compare it with Thailand’s ladybois for example, who are under no misapprehensions about their maleness. See also Samoa

A lot of people ask "If you could push a button and change your body forever, would you?" I find it more useful to ask the inverse: "If you woke up as [another gender] and found a button that would turn you back forever, would you push it?"

I admire your video very much!
I’m a cis woman but throughout my life I had a lot of questioning about my gender in perhaps a weird way because I was born female, I’ve always wanted to be female but never felt feminine enough. I was teased and misgendered a lot as a child as my hair was kept short and I was made to wear the boys uniform at school. My best friend was also male which we were teased for. I began to question if I was actually born male or if my parents would’ve preferred me to be a boy. I hated my body and feared it looked too masculine, especially with puberty- I was underweight and flat chested and developed an ED which I think did affect my development. So I experienced things like dysmorphia and dysphoria but without being trans! One of the happiest things for me as a teenager was hearing a stranger say to someone about me ‘let the young lady go through’- they gendered me correctly! And despite now styling myself fairly stereotypically femininely- it still surprises me and makes me happy when I’m correctly gendered. Throughout my teens and still today I tried to style myself as feminine as possible. But I did sometimes wonder if I should’ve been male- not because I am male or want to have a male body but because it would stop the dysphoria about ‘not being female enough’. I’m also bisexual and more interested in females which again made me question my gender for not being feminine enough (plus I grew up being taught that same sex attraction is sinful so I felt uncomfortable in my gender for my attraction). So yeah, I experienced the same questions and gender dysphoria without being trans.

I'm not trans so I'm coming from a slightly different place, but I really relate with what you say in this video. I've been very anxious and questioning myself about being gay, but in the end it's as simple as you make it. I know I am because this is how I want to live and be. I want to get away from the "born this way" narrative because I feel it sometimes limits the freedom I wish people had when it comes to lgbt+ issues

Gender isn't just in the chromosomes. Gender requires the mind to agree with the body's gender. Those who would disagree with this would also deny humans are self aware. Humans are self aware hence we must mentally fit our gender. Gender is mind not just body it requires mind and if mind will not agree we humans have additional tools, science and technology to move past the physical bounds to transition.

Just looking at your comments it is amazing how much people do NOT hate you. I know for a fact transgender women/girls are getting a LOT of hate targeted at them.. But hey, it's like Madonna said in her song What It Feels Like for a Girl" Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short Wear shirts and boots 'cause it's okay to be a boy But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading 'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading. Good for you Arthur you should be happy. I hope trans girls can be happy someday too.

thank you!!

Been questioning my gender for 2.5 years and my sexuality for 3, I don't think I'm gonna settle down any time soon with those. 😅 I'm so introspective that I pounce on my thoughts logically the moment they happen and lose the "authentic feeling" part of them before I even have tge chance to look at them. So all I have to go on is that I like having short hair, I like having comfortable and colorful clothing (which often translates to feminine clothes), and he/him pronouns make me feel free and respected. And that's all that really matters to me in the end, you know?

By the way Arthur, you’re super cute. I love that name choice too, just thought I’d say that.

I’m definitely happy as a man, and was born a man, but I’m a proud supporter of my trans friends and actually looking into becoming an activist. I’m actually unsure where to start with that though.

What is a woman?

It is actually weird questioning your "Gender". It's on a whole other level of "dressing up as a little boy" or being a "tomboy" as a little girl. If you feel like questioning go look for professional help. And I know a lot of people don't want to hear it but : Detransition also exists. So, think about it twice.

I had no childhood signs and really feel unsure, I haven’t had depression levels of dysphoria and it’s making it really hard to be sure of anything. I’ve never been as confused in my life as I have in the last 6 months

Human beings can't change their sex.

I have autism and I feel no connection to my penis whatsoever. I don't hate it, I just think or feel it is not a huge part of me being me I feel that my cock and balls are simply there as free tag alongs. I have no idea how being transgender feels like so I wonder if if might be similar to what I feel?

I really can't describe how thankful I'm right now. This is one of the most important videos of my life, not because of "cheap tips" or "scores", but cause I really felt how trustworthy my heart actually is. It's been a pretty long while I've started wondering my gender, wether I'm a trans guy or not. I've finally got my haircut despite of not being outted to my family yet. But I've told my friends and my partner and they've accepted me, and I wanna scream at the top of my lungs about how happy I'm. My life is working! I mean... I was a happy girl, I know everything would be "fine" even if I'd decided to ignore this part of me... but once I've started dressing the way I'm dressing now (as a man), once I've started using the he/him pronouns... this is absolutely crazy. I'm happy. And that's what really matters! Thank you. You're kind. You're absolutely incredible. ❤❤❤❤❤❤ THANK YOUUUUU

in no way being mean you will never have a penis

I know being on T has helped me so much.

I remember the first say I was on T it was like the world suddenly got brighter, I finally felt like myself.

I went from trying to identify as male to it just clicking in my head that I'm nonbinary. I will never get off T, I feel confident in my choice as to who I am when I used to feel so lost.

Thanks you for that video, that is such a genuinely sweet and wholesome one. I really like your approach of trans identity and I was watching this more because I'm scared of taking step into medically transitioning but that overall helped me remember why I started transitioning in the first place :)

Just happened to come a crossed this video, very well thought out and communicated. I find many videos from trans people seem to be more about their own victimhood.

im one of those textbook trans men, ive always held the fact that i had the typical childhood signs, the intense dysphoria, and a very mixed gender life (lots of male friends and only male cousins to play with so i had a lot of the typical male childhood) very close to my chest to get my confidence up when i went through with my social transition around 15, but I'm now 19 and im very scared for the future because im concerned i might transition medically for the wrong reasons, or that i will do it and then want to back out even thought I've been living as a man for 4 years now.

nobody has been any help with this and between me growing up in a hostile community to lgbt people, the fact that ive read a lot of terf books and forums when i tried to "detransition myself", my family being unsupportive and just the general intense shame of being trans i feel, i have NO idea if these fears come from inside or outside, or if I'm really excited to transition medically for the internal feeling of being the sex i feel i am or just to finally get some normalcy around me. i know i want top surgery, I've known that since i first heard about it as a child, its the testosterone that's giving me a hard time because i know i want those changes, all of them, (especially the voice since my dysphoria makes me go almost mute for days on end sometimes) but im afraid of them also because of the things ive been told about ruining my body irreversibly and shit like that.

its tough and nobody has been able to help me as of now lol

Thank you.

Thank you Arthur, your video helped me

i'm gender fluid and i'm kinda confused if i'm trans or not so that's why i'm here :) i also wanna say that your voice is so relaxing!

I watched this in a wig, makeup, skirt, blouse, and thigh highs.... wondering if I'm really a trans woman because I just made an apt with my GP to get on hormones. Yes I realize how stupid that is when I finished the video, something about how you broke everything down made me really think and have this moment of clarity and when I saw what I was doing I was like... okay I need to stop overthinking because it's obvious at this point LOL.

Lol

I'm not transgender. I'm keeping my balls intact thanks

“We make choices under uncertainty all the time.” Love this so much. Sometimes you just have to make the choice and go for it

"You are a man." -Your brain
"You are a woman." -Your chromosomes.

Thank you for your videos, Arthur. I come back to them again and again. Your voice is so calming and I relate to it. I am a trans man in my mid-30s, just 4 months into my medical transition and times are hard right now and I am scared, but I am holding tight to the euphoria I feel every day in this changing body. I love myself even through the storm of coming out and the strangeness of androgyny. Better days ahead. Cheers to you and wishing you all the best.

transitioning was the most exciting thing/ scariest thing ive ever been thru. I wish i didnt wait 10 years but at the same time im glad i lived long enough to see it happen

I'm 43 years old and am 7 weeks into Testosterone. I knew I was born in the wrong body when I was 4, but was repressed and abused by my Mother for it. I'm Trans Male.

i love what you said about the quiet moments like this summer i rode my bike everywhere all the time dressing in my most masc clothes listening to music that gave me peace and each time i did it it’s probably the most ive ever felt like myself and it was one of the most beautiful moments in my life without even intending for that to happen. it’s truly when i understood what aspects of being a guy i feel the happiest about and it just felt right :)

When interacting with other people it is very important not to confuse your energy with theirs... light is powerful as well as sound.. ppl know tactics in the light and in the darkness.. one thing i know is when im interacting with a man (specifically)im normally more assertive and i realized this bc men want to win. They want to be first and they want to finish, its almost like a covering, however I have that on my own even when Im being feminine.. its like teaming up with someone. When im working with women i try to be the strength even when I know when know how to carry their own selves. Know yourself no matter who you are. Even if you are trans. What we dont want are a bunch of ppl who do not know their own identity and remains weak to others...
Focusing on self is a good way not to confuse you with whoever else.. that goes with gender, religion, race, sexuality, allattttttt

you will never be a man

Well...im 16, and i recently got out of identifying myself as non binary and now im starting to identify myself as a trans men

When i was a little kid i always LOVED feminine things (i love it until today lmao), but i always looked at the other boys and wondered what would be like if i was a boy and i wanted to be one just to see it, to feel it y'know? And...welp, now i WANT to be a boy lol, just watching the start of this video helped me to get so many questions, fears and doubts out of my mind, im still watching but i just wanted to comment to thank u