Adult Children of Alcoholics Relationship Pattern "Mind Reading Fantasy Pattern"

Anybody else learned to isolate because calmly and concisely communicating answers to peoples’ most common and frequent questions in social settings doesn’t just scare others, it emotionally devastates them to hear? So, then you end up trying your hardest to do the work and follow professional therapists suggestions, but that advice ultimately only leaves you with options where you already know the outcomes are negative based on past experiences? You can either invent creative and thoughtful lies to communicate to others for their own mental and emotional wellbeing. Or, you can be honest and at best they’ll just avoid you while allowing you to continue existing just not interacting in your shared environment? I’ve tried so many different versions of ways to work around or through this pickle based on countless videos/books, but they’ve all ended poorly. The first few serious attempts, I made some mistakes. But, even when you correct your own mistakes then there’s still betrayals that feel like they’re the results of the impossibility of bonding with others emotionally in genuine ways. It’s not made easier by current social/societal/socioeconomic climates either. Everybody’s struggling in one way or another right now it seems. 😐

Can you be compensated financially by parents who abused you? To pay for all that therapy

Very helpful. Thank you. I’m the one who ends relationships because I can’t speak or trust I can speak my feelings. If I speak up, will I be heard or assassinated? So I just leave but I didn’t know I was doing that.

I have zero trust in others. It sucks to only trust yourself. After my kids told me I had commitment issues I knew I needed help.

Get involved with someone intensely but then a year or two in a flaw in their personality arises and I fixate on it and I ultimately break up with them. Yeah, that tracks

Hi, Sofya. It's been a long time since you posted anything. Hope everything is ok, and you've just been busy. Your videos are very helpful. Thank you very much for doing this work.

My wife's, mom and dad, were heavy alcoholics and have (still do) perform terrible manipulation techniques towards her. Her dad is dead but her mom is still alive cause the devil doesn't want her. We have been married for 10 years and we have been working on our relationship so we can figure out how to deal with all the problems that come with being a COA. Right now is really tough. When we try to talk it mostly turns into a fight.

You capture with eloquence exactly how it was. Thank you so much.