What's Something Funny You Accidentally Did On Auto Pilot? (r/AskReddit)

Suck'! My dong' 😂😂😂

Sometimes, I'll drive home on autopilot, and when I get home, I'll come to myself, and be like, "How the hell did I get here?"

A lot of these are basically "I've been working here too long!" stories.

I recently got a wireless charger, and mentioned to some friends when they came over that it wasn't a coaster, cause it kinda looks like one. Flash forward to just a few days ago, I set my phone down to charge. On a coaster. Similarly, I have occasionally set my phone down in my fridge. I also tend to put ice cream back in the fridge instead of the freezer, but I USUALLY catch it in time.

I autopiloted my car to my old work a few times when I'm going somewhere else, though it's been a few years since I've done that.

Sometimes, when I'm really tired and/or speaking to a real person for the first time in a long time, I will insert punctuation into my sentences the way I do when I'm using speech to text for composition.

Painful cooking autopilot. I'm cooking salmon in the oven and the recipe calls for it to be turned over. Using my oven mitt I pull the tray with the salmon out, set the oven mitt aside and use the spatula to turn the fish over. Grab the pan (that's been in the 500 degree oven) to steady it. I have just one infinitesimal moment for my brain to realize what I've done, and the only thought that goes through my head is "oh s***" before the pain starts. I've since recovered from that, but I couldn't use the hand for weeks without pain. (Fortunately, it was my left hand and I'm right handed.)

Whilst watching this I heard my brother scream and instantly double-tapped to rewind so I could hear it again and figure out what the hell had just happened. When I didn’t hear his scream again I realized what I had done and just continued watching the video. Turns out he had just won a fight on a game he was playing.

After my husband and I got married we were driving home late at night and he tried to drop me off at my parents house like he was returning me before curfew. He made it all the way to their street before realizing why I was laughing.

Sometimes I’ll randomly switch accents (or even languages) mid-conversation

I poured milk in my chowder

Why is that office worker wearing a teddy bear fursuit at the beginning of the video?

One time I needed to talk to my English teacher about something and I'd asked my friend to nag at me to ask because otherwise I'd panic and I wouldn't do it, so she kept telling me to ask and I was saying "no" by shaking my head, mouthing the word, and through sign language, since we both know how to say no in British Sign Language, and the teacher says my name and I nearly replied with "No."
Also there have been multiple times when I've forgotten my name, the worst being in an exam where I literally sat down at the desk, very stressed, saw the namecard on the table that had my name on it and went, "Wait, what's my name again?" To myself. Not verbally of course, I do not like exams and I do not like getting in trouble.

While listening to this I made a stupid mistake on my paper..
I was trying to find a color for a character I was drawing and I went to a different page to see which pencil crayon would work for the character..
After getting to that other page I went back to the page I was drawing on and scribbled the pencil on the wrong pagedxtripdylfilitfupft




Sorry if this is stupid I'm tired and dont feel like fixing anything

Autopilot controls me for the first few hours after waking up early. Sometimes it extends into my classes at school and I just end up saying things that I think are normal but kinda aren’t. I semi remember them but also don’t remember saying them. I then ask ppl once I have woken up properly whether or not I said it since it’s so distant in my memory. My mum gets the worst of it since she sees me first in the morning

Saw some cereal on a high shelf and was very tired. Stare at it for a while and after wondering why i couldnt reach it i had thought of a brilliant idea. I took of my pants and stood on them for more height. Then i realized wtf i was doing

i took off my dirty boots then accidentally wore another boot, then i realized. After changing by boots i started walking toward the kitchen and realized i wore the dirty boots again

"Love is magic"

I just imagine a drunkin self going... “so..your dog? Who is... he?”

I was in Pensacola FL, 2004 and doing armed security 👮🏻‍♂️ for 7wk. After 🌀 Ivan. I was in a Ford Taurus rental 🚘 & began to zone out. I put the Ford in D then rolled over a parking lot barrier. 😲. The loud noise made me jar awake! I left that post about 4 days later.

Went to pour syrup onto my waffles but poured half a gallon of milk onto my plate

I work at McDonald’s in the kitchen and sometimes I go on auto pilot and either forget whatever customization is on and make it normal or make a completely different burger completely.

Love is magic

I once put on my helmet and walked all the way to school no bike just walking while wearing a helmet wouldn’t have been to bad if it was the only time it ever happened.. it happened twice I’ll never live it down 😂

Brought a carton of milk out to my shed for some reason drunk

I ate my homework

Driving to the babysitters house and showing up with no kid cus your wife has the kid on Friday’s. Multiple times. Or showing up to pick him up.

Your dog. Who is he?

A friend took out the garbage, the dog and her bag. She threw away the bag, put the dog in the car and walked her garbage...

I cracked an egg into the garbage and chucked the shell into the bowl

I was once working two jobs. One answering phones at a car dealership, one in a restaurant. Sometimes both jobs in the same day. Many times, answered the restaurant phone saying the greeting from the dealership. Confused customers.

I went to put the ice cream in the pantry

I love how 2 people managed to throw their chicken soup/stock down the sink, and appear on the same subreddit.

So remember kids, get enough sleep!

And I suppose a non monotonic job.

Love is magic.




C'mon doggo I'm desparate

i put tv remote in the fridge it took a long time to it. lol

Got to work, worked, went home, slept, woke up 7.01 thinking I overslept, went to work, apologized for being late... it was the same day. I meet at 7 am, it was 7pm...

"stepped on a cheeto and apologized to it" that's fuckin hilarious!

Said thankyou instead of saying you're welcome

I was making tuna sandwiches and koolaid with my last can of tuna and last pack of grape koolaid. I don’t remember what I was thinking about just being very tired.
I made the tuna salad then opened the koolaid and poured it into the tuna salad. I stood there watching it turn purple trying to figure out what was wrong. After a minute or so I decided I shouldn’t be in the kitchen, threw away the mess and went to bed.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm made me laugh.

I almost threw my dirty clothes in the trash once

Backstory.... Electronics are a bit of a hobby, so I collect DC power sources of just about any variety, shape, voltage and power rating... Often in salvaging equipment or parts, there's enough wrong to blow a transformer, so I try never to pay much for them, and often "scrounge" them out of dumpsters. DC is generally reasonably safe, so "licking" the terminals while powered on only results in a lingering tingle or very minor discomfort on the tongue...


Autopilot... This morning...
Recently procured a Power Source rated for 18 Volts at 3 Amps (about 54Watts)... so reasonably safe... AND energized it from a nearby drop cord... stuck the probes to the contacts and couldn't get a DC volts number... Plugged a lamp into the cord, and it lit right up when switched on... SO changed the multimeter, and tried the Power Source again... still nothing. Put the contacts to my tongue and immediately regretted it, as drool even started rolling down my chin and my tongue felt like I'd just stuck it to my (also antique) cattle prod...
Read the Power Source more closely and the rating clearly says, "18 VAC 56Watts on output"... SO switched the meter over to AC Volts and sure enough... It works... and I have since recovered (as said before low volts don't usually pose much danger)... except (of course) for my pride.


Never ever trouble shoot electrical or electronic gear before the morning coffee. ;o)

I keep accidentally throwing my pen after i zone back in... Ill be in the zone and just doing my job then when i come back to reality i just throw my pen on the floor... I dont know why...i cant explain it...ill just zone back in and throw my pen down on the floor, and before you ask, no im not scared of my pen.

These always make me laugh so hard I need my inhaler, lol.

One time I got up, bathed, brushed my teeth (etc etc), grabbed my book bag and cell, then headed to the bus stop to do my homework and listen to music. When I finally looked at the the time I realized three things:
1. it was 3AM
2. it was Saturday
3. I hate full moons

Love is magic