What Corporate People Sound Like

I've never been happier as a construction worker.

wow thats big 4 consulting language 100% ... Lol.. felt like I was talking to myself..

Pretty soon they'll just program robots to just talk like this for us.

Gawd. Hit the nail on the head. I hear this speak all day long

It’s amazing how much you can say without saying anything

Are corportate people also doing nothing (and making millions) in addition to speaking BS?

When this video came out, I was laughing with their strange lingo. I started work in corporate a year ago and now I find myself talking exactly like them. God, what have I become

Worst I ever heard was "Good idea...let's put that in the thought fridge and snack on it later...." I'd have quit right there and then.

When your satire gains enough views to be considered for an actual advertisement…. Zoom must be like a primate in an acrylic box, tossing excrement at the wall. Tough to watch.

It's like an updated version of RAF pilot banter from World War II, just without the heroism.

I am having flashbacks.

Just leaving the corporate after many years and so glad I am no longer part of working for people who talk bullshit for the living. I realized how I despise people like this haha

“PLEASE ADVISE!!” Bro calm down. You are just looking for where a file is located, not under fire in a battlefield.

Can we leverage some synergies while we’re at it?

I swear this jargon drives me insane! It's so vague and icky, I can't stand it. And some people seem to like talking this way which is horrifying to me.

I get a message along these lines to this every other week despite being in an immense international tech company.
"LIME USA business carve-out activities have completed in SAP E1P(100) system. The SAP E1P(100) system has been released to the users"

My favorite corpse-oration might have been, "Leveraging the synergies of digitalization for future growth."

I need behind the scenes video of this one please!

OMG. Spot on. I love that the FIRST thing is "Circle Back." I've heard that so many times, I think I'll have an annurism if I hear it one more time.

copy that Roger! Copy ? yes Roger, is said to copy that!

My takeaways from this are that there are significant synergies we can leverage in preparing the ground Q2. We'll need to have a deep dive, but I'll run that up the flagpole and we can circle back by COP on Thursday. This could be a win win.

Missed swim lane 😂

The amount of times I've heard these catchphrases hurts my soul. The worst people of all are the HR dorks. They LIVE for this and will make signs, emails and culture bullshit out of these types of phrases 😂 💀

I got like 70% of this bullshit and i have no desire to ever work with anyone that speak in this manner

Did an internship in an office back in college and realized after 3 weeks of sitting in meetings, listening to this meaningless drivel for hours on end and doing LITERALLY 0 ACTUAL WORK, I had made a mistake in my career choice.

are they speaking another language lol

I feel like I'm watching a video in a scenario that English is my second language. English is my first language.

can confirm

I've worked for three corporate aged care providers and the higher uppers speak like this and it's got me buggered what any of the language has got to do with looking after the elderly and disabled. 'Touching base' is the one that really gets my goat.

"put a pin in this"
"circle back"
"we're having a few fire drills"

"Zero-in"
"Pick your brain"
"pushback"
All these are used on the daily where i'm currently at and I fucking hate every single one.

Almost everything is a military, aviation, or cooking reference.

Make a Texas/Southern version!

NAaAaAaAAannnccce

Yep. Needs reference to "version 2.0" of something. (And I appreciated how none of them were doing anything when their phone rang.)

I work corporate and can’t stand the language used

I'll have to share this in the ESTJ subreddit lol

I literally say all of this and unfortunately understood it all too well haha!

gag

Sadly. This is accurate and hilarious.

so this is why stuff from big companies is ALWAYS JUST SO GREAT

Don't forget "incentavize!" (On a long flight, the guy behind me said it 100+ times. I wanted to "incentavize" him with a cup of hot coffee on his lap. Argh! 😱

This corporate speak is " in my wheel house", too!

It all ends in doing the heavy lifting by EOD, despite there's no bandwidth to push the pedal

I have no idea what they are saying. Sounds like they are landing an aircraft 😂 I am an artists. Definitely not corporate

If my manager spoke to me like that, I would slap him

this sort of jargon is the exact reason I didn't go into that world. It's repulsive, and makes me want to repeatedly punch a douchebag that uses it until the blood that spatters me is cold.

Holistic

This is how to land a job in every indonesian tech startup

You ought to hear top secret military intelligence talk that I used to pick up on my boo-boo because I lived right next door to a state law-enforcement communications center. Man these guys weren't funny, they were scary as hell! They actually sounded robotic-demonic. And I'm not bullshitting!

IT ALL STARTS W/ "CIRCLE BACK" 😆 🤣 😂

😂