Dating Over 50: How to Ask the RIGHT First Date Questions to Best Get to Know Someone!

Know the rules, to break the rules? The is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Women are statistically
less loyal and faithful than men are. There are utube videos about it.
There's no way you need to "work" at a relationship. It's either gonna work or it's not.
If it becomes "work", it's over.
It's wrong to assume that a person is expected to be "ready" for a relationship. Maybe they aren't interested in one at all.
Being "responsible" for another person is not appealing at all. "Just dating" is ok to stay in.
Anger is not always connected to love. Anger is very often based on the blatant disrespect the other person may have given you.
Any woman that asks "what was you childhood like?", should be told, "You're not gonna try your arm-chair psychiatry on me, so the date is over now."

Okay I'm going to do it one step closer. Thank you

This talk begins by saying that we want to keep the questions to building style answers so that it doesn’t end up being an interview. But everything that follows after that comment is coaching us to ask interview questions to get answers from our interviewing them. It’s about how to disguise questions so that you can be the interviewer. When is dating going to stop being an interview, when are we going to relax enough to just go out and enjoy someone’s company and let these questions naturally come up as they would in a dating relationship? But instead everyone is in such a tremendous rush to illuminate the person in front of them and there are so many disqualifications for example, are they ready to date someone else? Maybe they don’t even know themselves they have to date to find out. I’m tired of all this interviewing, and so many of these talks are just about how to create more interviews by disguising them as something else.

Thank you for this

"Mind if I play my harmonica here?" is probably not a good question.

What if YOU had rough childhood? Make assumptions at one’s values based upon their childhood may be a huge mistake. If the person doesn’t dig deeper, that may lead to inaccurate info.

I found myself extremely uncomfortable about the covert questions April presented. They sound like a "pretty" interrogation. Much better to find connections and to look for shared interests, then listen with your heart. Your heart won't lie. If you struggle to find connections, that's your answer. (BTW, connections are not made by liking a certain brand of alcohol, sharing a favorite movie, going dancing or having similar personal habits.

If you have a lot of clarity when you write your profile and carefully read the other person's profile, you'll have a good sense of who the person is. Never trust a profile that isn't specific about who the person is and what they're looking for. It's not about going on lots of dates hoping to find the right person, it's about finding your authentic self BEFORE you go on a date, analyzing their profile, having exploratory phone conversations about what you've learned from the profile BEFORE you agree to go on a date, then going on the date to get a sense of who the person really is by continuing the conversations you've previously had.

Take it slow to make sure the person isn't hiding their authentic self. Many narcissists seem completely charming, empathic, sensitive, etc. on the surface, but if you've ever been in a relationship with one, you'll understand why not to take the person at face value.

Recently I mentioned in a dating platform online conversation that my deceased partner was an addict (I didn't mention it was only tobacco) and the consequences of that addiction were severe monetarily. I never heard from the guy again. poof just vanished without another word. Up until that point were were having a fun and interesting conversation. I found the sudden ending a) shocking and puzzling b) rude and inconsiderate. But is this sort of thing too much information to share with someone or not something spoken about in polite conversation? I like to be up front about my life (which is pretty conservative and normal) and hope people will be so with me. - but maybe this is not the way to go??

For myself as an 80+ widower who has recently managed to end 8+ years of grieving, I found this an especially helpful session. The suggested questions are helping me to loosen up and evaluate myself, on the way to considering what to say to others. But there is less peer pressure at this age, after all!

Someone in the army said this: Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies.

Asking questions about past relationships on the first date is a no-no according to many online sources. Why are you even discussing it? I just met you.

Who the hell asked those questions on a first date?

Very stiff, formal and quite frankly unnatural and obvious interrogation. Turn off.

Hmmmmmm. Your last point was for me the core issue - "do you have shared values". Asking the other person what was their growing up like, is such an open ended question it could go anywhere. I'd like to see a much longer, broader, deeper, comprehensive discussion on "Shared Values".

Stop all this nonsense with this analytical crap. People who are over 50 should be comfortable who they are. It would be ice to see less delusional requirement and more understanding of a lifetime of history. No one is perfect and should be able to act mature with less judgement. If the person is violent or abusive, leave. Friends? What are you in high school? When you deliver all this stuff to a mature adult who looking to date, many just quit looking. Why? You are making lonely people who are not perfect to a ridiculous standard, shy away from the dating world. What I have noticed in dating women over 50 is that they tell more lies about themselves and are judgmental.

I don't agree that "relationship" equates to "willingness to take responsibility for someone else". A relationship is whatever I want it to be.

Great job ladies, men need to know this stuff too!!!!

This is all super good stuff. Much of what April says I’ve learned and observed while dating.

For many people over 50, a high percentage have been in marriages that lasted many years and have been out of the dating scene for a long time (well, at least they should have been not dating). It’s like anything else - practice makes perfect. So, when meeting someone on a first date and your date seems awkward or stiff, be a little patient and understanding and try to understand from where they are coming. I find a good topic is asking about how they are finding dates, if they are finding quality dates, etc. - it helps me understand how they are approaching the dating scene and explain any stiffness or awkwardness in their presentation.

Similar to what April said, talking about the good dates she’s met, and asking why and what she found good about them, also helps me understand what she likes and if the type of guy she likes aligns with who I am.

Talking about past relationships, that can be a big problem.

Dating is really complicated after 50, there are so many variables to consider, I think it's easier to just be friends with all your acquaintances and wait for that love bug to bite you 😉

Dating in 50's ! Probably for fun sake men will try ,But for a women its a difficult task I believe due to age factor 😀

Thank you for this tip I will definitely use what has been the movie that's made you laugh the hardest I think that is such a cool icebreaker thank you so much I will use that

Thank you! 🌱💛

Thank you for this video🙏🏻

I disagree abt asking deep questions on a first meeting. I don't like discussing my previous relationship with someone I've just met. I have a process to dating. Since nowadays we're all doing the online dating thing, I have 3 screening questions to even continue chatting. If we are compatible then I chat for 1 or 2 wks and I observe their behavior and answers, if they don't show interest or don't ask to meet in person I move on. This prevents me from meeting energy vampires🙂

I find it best to make the first date like I don't really need this woman. Keep it light and defer all her qualifying questions. Don't have any reaction to her Shi% tests. The big one being what do you do for work. Simply answer "I have a job" or " I'm actually homeless" Her attempt to find out how much money you make can come at a later date. Ask leading questions, then let her talk. Just fill in the blanks with positive words. Women love to talk. Especially about themselves.

My first date question. How do you know when you've pleased a redhead? Ans, When she unties you

I've had this older women asking you about your life. You can ask but they certainly will not be answered, I'm not the one to be vetted nor are most men. Look by the time you reach 50 none of us are going to take advantage we may want to play for awhile but we certainly don't want to stay. If you are out on a date in market at 50 or 60 you threw away a relationship or 2. So stop dumping your baggage at our back door And realise most of us men have been around a while with heard every line there is to hear

This is ridiculous. No man or woman wants to be on a dating interview .

blah blah blah... just be yourself be natural

all i ever hoped for was a woman that was normal with normal western morals and appearance. and easy going..best way to find that out is in the phone and txt talk before you even go on a date or meeting ..the big question for me is are you on any type of medication .its important because of the large numbers of women over 50 and younger on medication for depression or stress or any of the emotional disorders .its the same for a lot of guys as well the problem is .you cant make these people happy and if you get involved you just bring there nightmare into your world ..and in time when you leave everybody is told your the biggest bastard to ever walk the earth.and you've lost another year or so to an unhappy relationship.. best not to go there in the first place ..same thing for drunks and illegal drug users and gamblers ..good luck i hope you find somebody nice

Thank you sharing, good stuff. Never felt more unqualified to date anyone as a introvert not needing a list of friends for life to prove I’m capable of having relationships. oh well…lol

Does that coach realize that this is about people over fifty?

Ladies if your over 50, you should be honest with yourself. Have fun on dates if you can get them, but realize any marriage opportunities will be extremely limited. What do you offer a man that he would risk marriage to a +50yr old? A womans most valuable assets to a man are her youth, beauty, and fertility. The ability to offer him children. You have none of that or its fading quickly. A man with options will seek younger women accordingly. Indeed in her 50's a woman's best years are behind her and with menopause approaching the only thing she can offer is the ability to take half. These men have already been there and done that. Hard pass accordingly.

Everything depends on the mans looks. If he is handsome even bad behaviour is excused. Ladies over 50 still have a laundry list of requirements that have to be ticked off. But the men they want are not dating 50 year old ladies. These high value men are having fun with ladies half their age.
Plus i think if you have a group of single ladies they tend to keep each other single. If one of them meets a man and they like each other but her friends don't approve (and they won't) then he is kicked to the kerb.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?
What makes you laugh outloud?
Who are your best friends?
What was the quality of your longest relationship? What brought you together? What was positive about it? (Not negative)
Is he she over their ex? Ask questions like - How are you feeling now? How ya doing? Then wait. They’ll tell the truth. Anger means they’ll still attached. Neutral space means they assumed responsibility.
What was your childhood like. 5,6,7. Does this person love like you are used to?

don’t ask a question that you are not comfortable answering about yourself.
don’t obviously play peek a boo until you feel like it’s safe to come out.
if you ask me a question then I’m going to ask you the same question . I must be as comfortable with you as you are with me. it won’t work if we are not on the same level.

They: who do you enjoy spending time with?
Me: my cat
They: 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️

Talking about past relationships on a 1st date?
This is NOT the time for this conversation.
If your date does nothing but talk about their ex?
They're clearly not over it, and shouldn't be dating,

I sent on a date in my 30s once and at dinner he did not ask me one question about myself. I tend to be curious so I asked him questions but towards the end of the evening I realized he didn’t ask anything of me.
He continued to ask me out and I had to tell him I wasn’t interested. A little sad because he obviously didn’t have the social skill or awareness. But, in the end I had to be true to myself.

very simple: If I ever do go on a date again, my first question is: When you got divorced, who left? If the answer is me: bye bye

Being able to process correctly observations to inquiries is often lost to misinterpretation.

And is like women don't lie. I have found that from the first date is all lies, from the make up to the push up bras. I have a advice to women. lady's if you are interested in a man, be nice , polite ,attentive be feminine. STOP WITH THE 20 QUESTIONS.

Over the years a have been on lots of dates and the pleasant ones are when we are relax and the woman is not making it like a job interview. I actually had one woman give a 20 point questioner. Needles to say I did not have a second date with that woman. LOL

Great advice and thinking back on my first date with my ex boyfriend, I would not have gotten into a relationship if I asked these questions. Not that he is not a very nice man, but he was not and never will be ready for a relationship as he circles the drain of anger towards his ex wife and comes back to it constantly. He clearly has things to sort out, but I realised he never may get there and it was wasting my time

Since I've been in social isolation quite a bit over the last 1 1/2 years my friendships aren't as close as they used to be and some of my friends of 20 years don't align with my values any more, . I'll probably be finding new friends next year when I socialize more. The longevity of friendships wouldn't be a good evaluation of my ability to keep deep relationships.

What is a person’s ‘responsibility’ after a single date, if you no longer wish to see the person again? If something ‘needs’ to be said, what and how would a woman want to hear you aren’t interested in further connection?