Who You Find Attractive Is Based on How Hot You Are | Dan Ariely | Big Think

I'm conventional beauty, long legs, perky breasts, pronounced cheekbones, etc. I am a demisexual, but as appearance goes, I'm a huge chubby chaser. That's the body I prefer, but if they are asses. Their weight ain't gonna matter. I will not be attracted to them.

I disagree with the majority of what he said tbh.

I would love to reset my brain somehow. To find most women attractive, but because I have a very rare type that I am attracted to, that’s most of the time taken already, I am having a hard time. Like I could push myself into relationships with women I don’t find physically attractive, but then it would feel very unnatural for me, to go romantic with them. Any advice? Maybe someone who had same problem?

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Disgraced psychologist

Hey this guy wAs accused of academic fraud. Just a heads up

Well, nice to learn that I am indeed ugly 🙂

love the content, thank you

I have self image issues. Before, I was at the higher side of the 'good looks' list. I then had surgery to remove 3 of the 5 masses found in my breasts. OK, my appearance on the outside is still ok...but to be naked with another...I don't think intimacy is ever an experience that I will have again. My lover cannot accept this change. So now that rejection has made me feel so terrible. I sometimes am so longing for that human touch...it hurts me deeply and I find myself questioning my existence. I make jokes and laugh a lot. No one knows my sorrow...and I have so much to give.

Am I reaching too high in the hierarchy? Maybe. Idk where my confidence comes from.

And yes, talking has an attractive quality, if you got it you got it. But I find that in most conversations I feel forced to dumb to the topic of conversation depending on who I'm talking to. I feel as if I'd be labeled a "smart ass". Nobody likes a person who thinks they're smarter than them, so I adjust my words.

I think beauty is mostly objective. Reason being because beauty is a subsidiary of health. If you are healthy, chance are you are going to beautiful in a way, and that is what attracts other. It's the health of it. Then again, like what this person said in the video. We get injured, we get unhealthy as we go through life, so what we attract and what we find beautiful will be skewed. But one think is certain, if you can get healthy again you definitely would want that. So, what is beautiful or healthy or attractive is desirable regardless. In terms of physical health and attractiveness.

I’d say I’m fairly attractive (6’2 athletic), and I’ve adapted to prioritize kindness in women. It’s pretty easy to tell if an attractive girl never developed other aspects of her character.

Clearly… this dude says this because he got passed over too many times by hots chicks but not by ugly ones

I think it's true for men, but half-true for women. Women prefer rich ugly man over poor handsome man. Of course it will be perfect if they can get a handsome rich man, but the priority is always the wealth, then attitude/character, then beauty comes third.

super one dimensional analysis of attraction.

Soooo…. What does his wife look like?

@beginning
Why do we tend to use “boys and girls” you could have said.
“If we take 2 lines of people and organize them with the most attractive people on top…yadayadayada..” it is exclusive to only cis-hets

beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences and role models

The only scores that matter are how the people in the relationship rate each other, not their average based what everyone else thinks

This to an extent. After awhile you just want to be with someone who makes you feel less alone in this world.

All these studies that just teach us what we already know...

I didn't adapt.

Little reminder: men also date men, and women also date women

For me it's not about looks at all!
I figured it's really hard for me to find someone who's character would suit me, so I basically gave up and just go for one night stands regardless of character and attractiveness, there're completely different things that play a role. 😅

I've never seen a gorgeous man in my life. Any man that even looked remotely good looking, was gay. The majority of women are ugly too. If make up, fake boobs, dyed hair and clothes/accessories, never mind all the plastic surgery on eyes etc. went away, would peeps even mate these women??? If you put all the fake boobs and make up the women wear on the men, what would that look like? When you do bump into a gorgeous, natural beauty, a woman, never seen it in men, once every few years...and you can't stop staring...it's like your eyes are drinking down real beauty. They all say the same, they have stayed single as the men are just too ugly. It's why only ugly peeps have ooodles of kids...they just don't seem to care how ugly they make the world. If only beautiful people were allowed to have children, the world would be a lovely place. And to those who say beauty is in the eye of the beholder...I call BS...if that was true then why do all the gorgeous girls get proposed marriage on the daily and are asked out 20 times a day in person, never mind on line. Men walk up to them without even knowing them and say here is my wallet, keys to my house and car, let me bow at your feet and worship you. And ugly women want to end gorgeous women, they hate them on site/sight because they see their man react in a way they never did for them....they're like you never look at me like that....They should separate the ugly from the beautiful...imagine if money wasn't a thing....all the ugly rich dudes would be toast. I think ugly people created the money system to try and buy and control beauty. And beauty never fades, they stay gorgeous all the way through "old age."

I have reached the exact same conclusions for years without the research. Glad to see that i was not wrong

This video needs to get updated for 2023

i must be so freaking hot then.

i find the hottest ones attractive does that make me a brad pit? lodu

I always find women attractive that are way out of my league. So what's wrong with me?

I think a Sprinter says human potential is about explosiveness, a marathon runner says endurance, a weightlifter says who can lift the heaviest, an academic says intelligence is human performance, and a clergyman says enlightenment and annihilation is reaching human potential. We all align ourselves with a dimension that stands to flatter us most. for quite a few human potential, value and attractiveness becomes "who is most like me".

I find Dior male models hot so that must mean I’m exactly like them haha

Meh I’m an objective 8 and I’m fine with that 😂

i honestly dont think we should be listening to a disfigured man about this topic, its a weird topic and there is no right wrong scientific answer to it

I'd bang and MARRY a Jennifer Aniston. I'd only just BANG many of the other hot chicks out there.

There are different TYPES of hot.

Sounds so miserable

interesting, so beauty IS NOT subjective. but we make adaptions to fit into where we view ourselves in the social hierarchy. essentially everyone wants a 10/10 but we all cant have that

i personally disagree with the idea of this video , in my opinion anyone could date the person they want no matter what their range is , all what is needed is looking the best version of ueself , working on yourself into being the best version and with that comes being confident and once u achieve fulfillment in how u look and confidence in being with whoever u want , u will get whoever u want with no problem whatsoever. so overall who u find attractive or who u “pull” depends on your mindset really .

Sorry but what's going on with his face? 😐

interesting.

I feel like I wasted 6 minutes of my life on this video and like the researchers wasted their lives researching lol, because of the following fact:

Most ppl aren't "inherently" unattractive. We're just fat lol.

The "ugly unattractive" guy is Steve Buscemi when the guys not obese.

And the "2" girl is suddenly an eight when she successfully works out.

So the researchers are trying to puzzle out all these factors and keep their funding while ignoring the seemingly most important factor lol.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

I get more attractive the more money I have.

Nah I like handsome guys way too much for no reason

My heart goes out to this man for having gone through the experience that he did.

We tie so much of our self worth into our dating prospects that it can make us blind to the value of our character; to either our weaknesses or our strengths.

Beauty may only be skin deep, but our society has a despicable habit of distributing unfair treatment based off of this shallow metric.

The thing about adjusting is that just because you adjusted doesn't mean the other person adjusted themselves too.

This is bullshit

Based Video

The problem with that research is that it only tells us about notions of attractiveness according to the kind of person who uses that dating site...