Conversations I've actually had on calls as a Paramedic and Firefighter.

I'm not exactly shy about stuff. Not proud either, but no point beating around the bush. I used toys and I wasn't careful. Silicone was soft and not flared enough. So, it's 2AM, I walk to hospital very soon after it happened (about 40 minutes after) and I come to ER. Run into elderly doctor about to eat and I explain to her it's maybe better that she knows first what's up and then to decide to eat or not. She doesn't know much about sex toys and I explain it to her and she doesn't believe me since I'm too calm and open. I'm just trying to fix it asap so it's less work for everyone. She called a surgeon (I freaked out, but surgeon is the one doing anything, surgery or not) and a nurse and I show them and it was out in like 15 minutes. They asked me can they keep the plug to show other doctors and stuff and I said sure and I explained some stuff about it to them too. I also bought all 3 of them a 4 person surf and turf plate the next day as thank you.

For a bottle of water...a very expensive bottle of water...

Sadly, some years ago a German culture TV show had a segment about assistance dogs for diabetics and said the sentence. "The dog warns her if her blood sugar drops dangerously low. Then she needs to quickly get an insulin shot."
I rarely write infuriated mails to TV stations, but this day I did.

this guy is like if Vic Mackey was just a regular hero instead of anti hero.

The insulin one is scary.

I’m just curious if any of you would tell them how something ended up in there? I think I have a 60% chance of telling the truth

This video gave me chest pains. Can you all please come and take my phone away and tell me to read a book? That's health care, right?

The only time something accidentally ended up in my ass was when i stayed over at my friends hause, not knowing she was a hoarder, and slipped in the shower. Neither me, nor that spider, ever were the same again.

Every doctor that shows up on scene is either a gynocoligist or a pathologist. Unless you actually need a gynocologist, then its an ortho surgeon ;)

The urologist bit killed me 😂

And vice versa so if you actually did have that conversation sounds like you were in the wrong

Emt or not you are not allowed to block people from moving their vehicles that's illegal

As a type one diabetic myself for over 30 years, I can definitely see this happening, there’s a lot of people that think they know diabetes, but they actually don’t. They know pretty much nothing about diabetes. Especially type one. Oh my dad had…. or my grandma had type 2 so I know all about diabetes. No you freaking don’t.

okey the last one is definitly my favorite bc that's just brutal honesty xD

i love your videos

My first line to some patients in the ER was, "I do not care what you tell your family when you get home. Please tell me what really happened so I can help you live!"

Excuse me... I'm a doctor... I think that you are the best medical specialist who shows how much real life is different and often crazier than fiction, and most of all you're the funniest. I can never get enough of your videos.

No, you did not ‘slip and fall’ on <insert object here> (pun intended) for it to end up there. No… nope, sorry. No, not even if the shower floor was greased would that happen.

And as a retired surgical nurse I’ve seen many things removed from orifices where they should not ever be.

My grandmother had to be airlifted due to a heart attack. Once she was out of the danger zone, my uncle sat down with her and said "Mom, if you wanted a helicopter ride with some hot guys, you could have just said something. I would have arranged it. You didn't need to have a heart attack."

Look, I don't know how the jack-o-lantern got up there, just remove it!

I feel like the 'accidentally got up there' part was the other video they made about the guy who 'slipped and fell on a shampoo bottle'

My mother was a paramedic in SoCal in the 80s. She said the WORST person to have on a scene is a doctor. "That's not proper procedure, you should have gloves, that hasn't been sterilized!" Mom said that nothing is sterile at 2am on the side of the 415 freeway.

Nothing ever "accidentally" ends up there! Lmao!

My dad's a volunteer firefighter and for a long time he would do first responder calls. When Covid hit all the volunteers were told to not respond to respiratory calls unless the EMTs actually requested first responders on the scene. He hasn't done first responder calls since then. He's seen all kinds of crazy stuff in his long career (been one since the very early 80s).

When I learned CPR for the third time at work, the instructor told us that the symptoms of low sugar and the symptoms of high sugar are very much alike. But he told us to give the patient sugar, not insulin.

😂😂😂 love these!!!

My mother had been seeing a doctor during her pregnancy, and when she arrived for one appointment he said, "Let me see, you are here because of your weight problem?. She told him that was not the case, that, actually, she was pregnant.

I like this rendition with you saying things lol

People are so hilarious...😂

Love this guy, just brilliant on Tik Tok and here as well. Corker effort in giving us the real truth of those incredible moments. Thanks ,its fun and hilarious what human nature is like.

Taking pt hx: I have no medical history.
Medic: family medical hx?
Pt: nope
Medic: has anyone in your family ever died?
Pt: I had an uncle die from a mighty internal fart.
(Myocardial infarction)

I got a cousin who’s a CNA (working on his education/qualifications) a guy was brought into the ER with a chef’s knife sticking out of his abdomen staining what I was told was a VERY nice three piece and T with blood.

“Man please don’t cut it off it’s a rental I can’t afford to buy it.”

Dude was a working stiff with great insurance but didn’t have enough money left in the budget for a tux. Inflation is a b*%*#.

Send in the ferret...

The doctor one cracks me up.

I once pissed a friend of mine off by saying Dr. Drew was just Dr. Phil for millenials and he went on a tangent saying which one would I rather have giving me cpr.

I said the paramedic because they actually so cpr as part of their job more frequently.

Listen, it's already in there. How it got there doesn't matter.

Now I understand why ER, ambulance ride and other medical aid are expensive in USA... To be less of stupid 911 calling!

I actually kind of did that with asking the fire truck to move 😮
But they were very nice about it and I think it was the ambulance. In the bushland right next to my apartment they were doing some regeneration work when a tree fell upon one of the workers, because our apartment building driveway was the nearest the fire rescue trucks and ambulances were parked there, when I came down to leave for work one was blocking my garage and one of the guys happened to come back to his vehicle and I said “I hate to ask but could you move it a bit so I can get out” he said it is fine “life has to go on “ and his moved the ambulatory .
The girl recovered fine but was too scared to do bush regeneration work anymore.

Thanks for the video

I was working as a member of the fire-fighting/first aid team on a vast building site, when someone came running and frantically looking for me, 'cause a big fire had started in an empty building right across the street (ten meters or something from the perimeter of the site). I immediately called "911" (the number in my country is different; the workers were from abroad and didn't know it), and a fire truck arrived in a few minutes. I wasn't even close, since the area I was patrolling at the moment was on the opposite site, but the builders had come looking specifically for me 'cause my colleagues had just shrugged it off: "It's another building, isn't it? Not our business" 🤷‍♀.
WTF... 😧

you scare me.... or I should say what you've had to say scares me because it just shows the level of stupid and entitlement there is in our world.

These are so true, but really mild compared to some of what really said to us.

Yeah….the blood sugar one is pretty common when a person is panicking and they know they’re dealing with a diabetic. They legitimately think insulin what the diabetic needed.

"Nothing ever 'accidently' ends up there, so..."
😆

That last one hits so true.

You laugh, you joke, but even the urologist has to get their CPR certification done. Even so, I be they can count on zero hands the number of times they've actually done CPR in clinic 🤣
-Sincerely, raised by a urologist.

As a retired ED nurse, I can appreciate what you do and your stories. Some of the things I’ve seen I can’t repeat. The most disturbing one was the lady who walked in and as she walked she jingled. Being a young nurse I was totally mortified at where the “jingle balls x 2 were located.

Wow I’ve been through all of it - had someone decapp’d under a tractor trailer and a guy runs up and says he’s a doctor

My line

Unless you are dr Frankenstein or zoidberg and can reattach his head were good

And he yelled “I’m a podiatrist !!”