Parenting teens:We're making it harder than it needs to be | Dr. Cameron Caswell | TEDxDeerParkWomen

beautiful talk, clear, concise, and engaging

I don't think helping them in doing things they can perfectly do by themselves is of any help. I think a parent should teach new things that the teen has not learnt yet, be there and help when it's something new, but not when it's about something they perfectly know how to do. Teens are lazy and they always try to find someone who can do things for them. I will not help unless it's something they can't do because they never did it before. I always tell my teens that they are perfectly able to do whatever it is they have to do by themselves 90% of the time . I take nothing away, I don't punish. I just tell them that they will deal with the consequences of their acts. They must learn that they need nobody to face life because they have all the resources they need in them. The sooner they get there, the better for them. If you are always willing to help, they will unconsciously think that you don't believe they can make it on their own, that you believe they need your help otherwise they won't make. I think we should help the minimum possible, do that they can understand they are able , they need nobody and they can have a very high and strong self esteem.

Thank you!

Wow. This got me teary. It's tough already for our teens. The most they need is support and encouragement, not the opposite. I commit to being open-minded and letting her be and show up when she needs my help the most. Thanks for sharing this resource ma'am.

This screams “make excuses for your kid”- they need to take ownership of their problem

I honestly think the teen years will be easier than the baby years..

This woman needs to spend a week with my teen. Ignores everything I say. Tells me to move out on a weekly basis. Attacks her mother. Rude to teachers at school. Basically does what she wants

This vidro literallly removes all accountability from the teen and puts it on the parent or external issue. Might work every one in a while bit consistantly using this approach might get you raising a teen that will blame their problems on everyone or everything but themselves. Please help me understand if im wrong.

I feel like I can’t be any MORE supportive and caring and understanding of my teen daughter and my kids but in the end I’m still the bad guy and the reason for everything that goes wrong in their lives. No matter what approach I take, it’s wrong according to my teens. So all I do is all I can do which is continue to support and show them love and when they screw up they have consequences to their behavior. I’m not into all that screaming and yelling and trying to control my kids either. But I do discipline and it just doesn’t seem like anything works. Next step is to go to therapy and allow her a safe space to communicate with the Dr about her feelings and medication for anxiety. Praying 🙏 😊❤

How can I help son?
YOU CAN LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE THE WORST MOM IN THE WORLD!(Door slams)
Nothing works.

I've tried this with my 13 year old step daughter it doesn't work and I went to this video out of complete desperation because I thought maybe I was doing something wrong so I tried following along with this as a guide to try and understand where's she's coming from but she still refuses to do anything. She won't communicate she's not motivated to do anything. I approach her with kindness and patience I don't yell at her or make threats and she actually spit in my face. So I've learned this while watching this video there are just some things work and don't work you can only lead the horse to water but you can't force it to drink.

I've often wondered how a parent can effectively learn & use better parenting techniques WITHOUT FIRST repairing the trauma & mental damages from their own traumatic childhood? I'm not a parent, but it's glaringly obvious to me, after some 12 step emotional Recovery work, that I am still not qualified to be a healthy parent nor are many other adults. IMO, unaddressed & unhealed early trauma will not allow anyone to be a good parent regardless of training/education.

After some therapy, I asked my mom "Why did you & dad slap, whip & beat us boys so much?" She SMUGGLY said "Well, you deserved it!" I said "We deserved & needed help & love, not angry retaliation to make you & dad FEEL GOOD!" She had nothing more to say! My parents both had repressed, sadistic needs & impulses from their own traumatic childhoods with sadistic parents & found PLEASURE in hurting us boys as indirect justice for what their parents had done to them. It's all so obvious now!!!!

I m trying so hard to create an structure but Ii m finding it really difficult to get my daughter to be responsible and independent. She is 13 and loves her
Mobile. We had a meeting and remember her the rules to get back from school, rest for an our, have lunch do the dishes and them complete her Kumon and homework. But she always need my remind to do her work and I confiscate her mobile. She throws a tuntroom Them I keep the phone away for some hours and she apologised but the situation repeats. I know I need to be more firm but it is so hard

Thank you! This really helped me.

Parenting is the hardest career on earth. When will our children learn to just do things willingly...

AWESOME video

oh my, great stuff

I appreciate it as a teen.

Thanks so much for this video. It is going to help me better deal with my teenager!

This is bunk. No real help. I raised my dtr the best I could and I’m struggling with real issues nit a eye roll.

💯💯

Thank you so much!!! That was so helpful, encouraging, & eye opening!

This is worst advice ive ever heard. I cant believe google is recommend it. You are absolutely wrong

Um, I ask my child how I can help. I am an in-house concierge. We need to break the toxic cycle of the CULTURE blaming the mother for everything that goes wrong.

Me being a teen, but what if the child is actually wrong and refuses to listen? Genuine question

Sorry I tried that with the room it never worked

What an eye-opening talk Dr. Cam! My teenage daughter is now in her 30’s, but I had a lot of flashbacks listening to your talk. Everything you said made SO MUCH sense! Wish I could go back in time and apply some of your strategies! I’ll definitely share this talk with all my friend with teens!

Brilliant! Thank you for all you do support parents with teens!!!

I love the positive approach you give Parents. I think our kids need room to grow, to be who they are. The skills to teach are so valuable! Even though my daughter is nine I apply the methods you teach and it works!! Thank you.

Great talk Dr. Cam!!!

Great strategies! Thank you for the reminders!

This is some good stuff!!!

The strategies are not just great for teens, I can easily find myself using them in my business, relationships and day-to-day life. Great job Dr. Cam.

Excellent!

This is such a great Ted Talk on parenting teens!!

Doctor Cam, knows teens so well. Helpful!

So much wisdom! Yes, we have a choice. I can so relate to this talk. Belief, Assumptions and Approach, oh I needed this a few years ago. Thank you Dr. Cam!

Some helpful tips and reflections

Fantastic message Dr. Cam! I saw many faults of my own by watching your video.

Great wisdom Dr. Cam!

Snuggle puppy song

Thank you for making a difference, Dr. Cam! Getting real with us makes it easier so we know it isn't just us and it helps to have simple ideas to make a change in our parenting. So good!