How to Get Your Kids to Listen and Engage | Kris Prochaska | TEDxBend

Thank you for affirming what I want to be be more like, because I tend to blend both methods, without really knowing best... I have the skills to life coach my child. He is an equal created in the image of God, just like his mother and I.

So this is a pro natural consequences talk. Very cool.

It's baffling to me, how she confuses equality of value with equality of wisdom, experience, and reason. A professor is equal in value to their students, but he/she is the authority in questions of knowledge, so he should be listened to, and obeyed, and learned from. Your child is not equal to you, and if you treat it like that, it will lack the neccessary guidance and authority to chose the right path to adulthood

I really liked your Nothing Message, Although I am a grandfather now, I will use or I will try to use your Message Thank you.!

Every new parent must watch this!

Children still need to be guided...and told...... explaining why they have to do as you say is key.... because in the outside world there are positive and negative consequences for whatever we do....and there will come a time when they have to take responsibility and accept or rectify their own decisions.....

I gave a thumbs down because I disagree that kids should be related to equally as you would adults. Kids are kids and adults are adults. These are totally different roles in human development. You can do just as much damage by building them up have unrealistic expectations of what they will encounter in this world as adults..

My mom told me minors dont have rights, and that I didnt have rights because I was a minor

Wow.good yes. Bad yes. Informative yes wrong yes.no.mybe really think ppl

Powerful when you know better you do better

It simply boils down to respect for our children

Falguni Shah
I totally agree with this video. It is right that we don't see our kids equal and don't allow them to be a part of conversation. We treat ourselves better than kids. We have a feeling that they don't understand anything and they are not supposed to tell us what we are supposed to do. We as adults always refuse kids to do certain things and then we do it ourselves. To inhabit proper values in our children, we as adults have to understand their point of view and engage them in our discussions. Give them the chance to decide between right and wrong.

I think its also the temperament of the child as well. Some kids are just naturally high active and spontaneous where others are a little more subtle.

Bravo 👏 👏 fantastic!!! 😎 When my son was approx 6th or 7th grade, is when he politely & respectfully stated, "Why should I give/show adults respect if they choose not to respect me? If I have to earn their respect, then they also need to earn respect!" Wow, talk about an eye opener 👏😎👏; I agree with this very much and I'm very old school... 57 years old but very old school 🤷‍♀️. I find it very difficult, frustrating, etc when older adults than myself are rude or won't move out of someone's way Deliberately ; yet they're the main adults who complain about younger people & kids 😤. Life is a 2 way street 😁

It makes us reflect about respect... Kids deserve but most of time we have parents so busy that they don't notice how terrible it is!

I always treat my child s if he's my friend. N he's really cool n obeys me without any compulsion. V both stay equal n fight 4 the remote always.

I reject the majority of this new wave hippie parenting. Children are not our equal and every decision we make regarding their development is not up for debate. Having to justify every decision to a child, whose only goal in life is self pleasure, is absurd. Explaining why you need to brush your teeth and bathe yourself, etc. Is different.

"Because I said so" is not educational, every opportunity should be a learning one! My son asks why, an opportunity for him to learn. He's 3 and hes educated and understands how things work, from the moon in the solar system to the reason he cant put his play animals in his tub because I valued his curiosity!! Stop the dysfunction and cure their ignorance 💗💟

What is the right answer to computer games when you're being asked but 'why not mama' for the 36774899th time?

PS: Idk im just overwhelmed already imagining this situation

Parenting is not just play with doll
Parenting is responsibility and enjoying with your kids
Before u have kids think 5 time more
U bring another human to world ( u are the one creating )
If u don't have power don't have kids pls
U need to give all to your kids

Love this. Thank you.

She took the red pill

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The defeated balloon jelly bless because quicksand effectively call across a elegant kenya. whole, aboriginal girl

Look at the state of the world. Parents have time to make babies but no time to raise them some just let them grow into little monsters. Kids need guidance and tough love at times but should always be respected.

I like this and mostly follow this. Unfortunately this assumes that they'll make (mostly) safe, logical choices. The homework example she gave is one such case. What if the daughter chose instead to delay or not do it? Is that choice going to reverberate back on the parent? It can. If there's other factors at play, it can.

My generation...sadly was not taught this

Right.
Except that kids have one single thing to worry about in the moment and you have everything else to worry about. And you have already explained for a hundred times why they need to go to school and now it's morning and they are not putting their shoes on and you are late to work. And the kids don't have the maturity to consider who will pay the mortgage if you lose your job because you are late. Because the kids are not equal with you in maturity, responsibility or wisdom.

As for equality in terms of human beings, who are you kidding. They are worth much more in our eyes than ourselves. We put them first.

And still, it is appropriate during times you don't have the spoons to engage in what is literally a game for them, to say "because I said so". Retain your own right as a parent to know that.
As for the Ted talk, let's see the follow up when her 10yo is a proper teenager.

thank you for stating so clearly and gently how we perpetuate the controlling domination of our parents and how it is not our truth... I've just recently realized what loving my children (16 and 7) truly fully and lovingly can be.... grateful

No way children can be equal to parents

good concept. "because I said so" does seem outrageous when you come to think about it

It would help to have some practical examples.

“What if I do it now, what if I do it later?” Is what I am gathering and holding for myself in this

Well done! I was the child who constantly asked "because why??" to everything my mom said. My inner child sincerely appreciates your perspective. Thank you :)

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Six year old with a lot of homework? There's a child in need of a different learning environment.

I am a mother of a 7year old young man. I have watched just 4mins of this talk.....and I already co-relate myself as a mother who is speaking with her kid in the same orientation................ but....I am lucky that I am able to watch the full talk and get some important guidelines for myself.

Not all the kids responded the same way

🥱😴

Love this so much!

Its important to see the children as someone who need to be loved, trained, cared for to maneuver life. Children have parents/guardians for a reason to help them navigate this world successfully. While I agree with equality in the personhood, you cannot put the horse before the cart. Experience teaches wisdom.

I don't have kids of my own, but I've always treated kids like equals. But this is the first time I've ever wondered if I would be able to treat my own kids with that kind of respect. So far, no kid has ever made me mad like that, so I actually have no idea what I would do in situations like the ones she described.

She's also completely right about the fact that it's not about treating them like small adults. If you have to pretend they're adults in order to respect them, then you've completely missed the point.

I freaking love this

Hubba Bubba, what a woman!

Is she gonna cry?

this is very hummilliating

I am sorry very sorry

@narendramodi

One of the key takeaways from the video was the importance of active listening. Kris emphasized that listening to our children without distractions and with genuine interest can make a significant difference in their willingness to engage with us. By giving our undivided attention, we convey the message that their thoughts and feelings matter.

This is idiotic. Half your instructions to your children are to keep them safe, and can't wait for an explanation before complying. Explain after the fact sure, but obedience has to come first, then they can ask why.

Also, children are not mini adults, their brains are simply not the same. Of course they need respect given and modeled to them, but if you are treating them like a colleague, you aren't being a parent.