The Science of Love | John Gottman | TEDxVeniceBeach

My ex-spousal unit treated me with contempt for years and so I left her as soon as the children could protect themselves.

His works is astonishing, go on his site

Where all of this research is horribly wrong is that it assumes everyone is fundamentally a good actor looking for love. In 2023 most people are not good actors and they lie about wanting love to manipulate and get non love benefits. Probably most modern relationships that “fail” had at least one bad actor from the very beginning and were never truly working. As more wealth transfers to the top more people use relationships for financial reasons. More women date fewer men, more people use dishonest dating strategies, more people enter damaged and more good actors get burned. The reality of 50 years ago is a vastly different reality than now. As wealth transfer to the top accelerates so will the collapse of healthy relationships.

Why are there more interrupting commercials during this Ted talk about love than any other thing I have watched. Hmm.

USE MATH TO HELP THE PROBLEM////😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Possible Attractor_////

GRAPH AND CHATS///AND TURBANCE///A LOT OF ENERGY IS EXPENDED////

Applied Research///_

LOVE LAB///LOVE RATS/////

I think big booty hoes who work so hard for a living should find this interesting.

The only thing he said that isn't true is that he isn't very intelligent. I call bs. This is AMAZING work! I have been steeped in this work for over a decade and I continue to learn more and more each time he or Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman speaks. What a gamechanger for the world!

About understanding women sorry
I have just read

Hi John just teaf ur book about understand women loved it
Now how about the techniques for picking up women
Any tips?
Urs truly
CLAUDE
PARID

So what are the attractors?

I love this video

when BOTH parties are committed the "magic" is keeping your S/O committed and like magic its a trick the magician never tells😂

Love it! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge to us to improve our relationships with our couples, I needed it

It's amazing how a person can say so much and yet so little at the same time. Give this man a cookie, preferably diet.

It’s amazing that people spend 30+ yrs of their life researching something that the Bible told us how to fix already. If only we took that book seriously!

I love that that love is mathematically specified!❤❤

People I meet are forging relationships with he wrong person. You have to forgo the wrong ones and wait for the right one. This is just how you have to play it. It can take 10 months or 10 years, but if you hook up with the wrong person, you will fail. Gottman screened 60 women and waited for the sixtyoneth and she was the one, my advice is to wait for the sixtyoneth

Wish I had known that before. :(

My take from my recent relationship ending it that.. no matter how much you love someone, love on itself does not conquer all. And treating your partner how you'd like to be treated, and expecting them to see that and treat you the same.. is BS. They won't notice and give you the same respect, so I left. It goes unnoticed and I believe that person was simply just going to act the way he did regardless of anything.

I’m not an antisemite (well honestly just as much as I’m anti-religion in general) but why is heck is he wearing a yarmulke. It’s kind of inappropriate for a “scientist”.

Bunnies on the beach be like 😎🥳

My notes on the science of love:

3 factors of love:
Commitment - cherish partner, notice good things about them, excitement about future, double down on staying together, loyalty.
Trust - interest in each other, know how the other will feel, do nice things for each other.
Calm - Shared humor, understanding, gentle, reassuring, listening.

Avoid negative emotions - 5x more positivity to negativity. anger, sadness, fear, hostility, disappointment, making comparisons between partner and real or imagined alternatives, betrayal.

PROFESSOR HAWK.

How do we get tested?

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Ty

I would like to volunteer to translate this to Arabic please Ted team communicate with me

Is there arabic translation

Not surprising that a person is having an affair because they feel lonely and lonely because they're untrustworthy, that's what narcissistic personality disorder will thrive off of, the next supplier and likely began as the narcs flying monkey .

It's so nice to put a face to his name! I've followed this man's work for years. Brilliant, charming, poignant pedagogy for daily application.

There is no science to Love. God is just that.

The rough belief essentially enter because aftermath posteriorly plant next a abiding trowel. present, sincere defense

que aula incrível!!! sempre bom ouvi-lo!

❤

Good

Thank you Prof Gottman .

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

Oh the John Gottman 😍🥰❤

hey gottman, mann gottes, 'ergo' ?? you haven't got it. you describe and touch the surroundings .. put even flowers all around .. but the is no communication on communication .. you are only the next "aboutist" .. you don't have any concept for the/a pragmatic way of building trust, well .TOGETHER.

To much science..

One of the most fascinating presentations I have seen on the topic of love

Brilliant, there should be a movie on this subject matter

MENTAL EMOTIONAL AND SELF CONTROL AND TACT AND DIPLOMACY AND CHOOSING YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY AND COMPATIONATELY FOR MEN WILL MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE.

To summarize it shortly:

Magic of love needs three things: Calm, Trust and Commitment.

Calm refers to physiological calm, being able to listen&empathize rather than become defensive&attacking.

Trust means both of you want to maximize benefits for both parties, rather than just yours, and this can be done by trying to see/understand in your partner’s perspective and catch their needs/wants

Commitment means you cherish your partner, being grateful for what you have rather than what you don’t have. Mindset like this: “I’m lucky to have this person.”

Men, NEVER get married!!