How to Get Over The End of a Relationship | Antonio Pascual-Leone | TEDxUniversityofWindsor

Ive tried to tell my ex to let me move on but she wont. She keeps my on the hook with hope, while she does want she wants. I have no idea how to get escape this merry-go-round or emotions but I know I have to and fast.

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I am still not over my divorce

Time, Right?

what about when your best friend doesn't want u anymore.....?
what do u do then....?

8 years gone she left we without a warning and we were gonna get married. I’m in pain I’ve never cried so much in my life. I helped her with everything we were each others first for all. Did she find somebody else did she cheat? I don’t know she gave up quickly when there was a bump. I just feel so lost

Comments helped more than the video

He and i were bestfriends but he was in love with his ex and took me up as a challenge, he cheated and lied and kept mentioning how in love with his ex he was but had the audacity to say that he likes me regardless. I wasted 8 months of my life for a guy who took me as a game he wanted to win and in the end when i broke things off he said i was resentful and i woulc regret it. He said he hated me and till now i keep thinking im unlovable cause no matter how much i gave the only thing he was able to do was hate me.

Something that got me through some tough times during my worst breakup was that poster picture showing the words and butterflies around them saying: “If you love someone let them go. If it was meant to be they’ll return. If they don’t return you haven’t lost anything.”

These words made me overcome the break up:
1. Nothing is permanent
2. People & feelings changed
3. If someone made you feel UNIMPORTANT, leave his/her life SILENTLY
Its not easy, but you will overcome.

thanks a lot-Really appreciate your pragmatic exploration of this process and your respect for how painful it is.

I can honestly say I never thought this would happen to me. I also never thought it would be this hard to move on when you've lost someone that meant a lot to you. It's strange - the feeling is exactly the same as accepting the "death" of a loved one / close friend. It's hard - super hard, even though the other person are not dead, they're still alive but the sudden loss of communication feels exactly like death in a family (well - for me at least). I can now understand why psychologists say that divorce has the same effect on a child than the death of a parent. Humans are definitely social beings & even though there are differences between us, it still makes it extremely hard to lose someone forever. I think communication is key is a relationship - but it has to come from both sides. You have to tell someone if they are doing/saying things you don't like instead of just leaving it. No relationship is perfect - it's hard work, but I believe when the approach from both ends are right it can be great.

The most difficult experience in life, not many can understand it. The most painful part of it is having friends who thinks am not man enough for grieving over the lost of a relationship I held so dear to my heart.

Can you ever really be 'friends' with your ex? ❤️‍🩹

1 year later & I’m finally beginning to heal! Sending everyone love and peace: as we heal! It never goes away- especially if you thought that was your person (💍) 🥹😔

Day 3 of my break up and I feel like nothing… trying so hard to focus on going back to the gym but I can’t eat as I keep thinking about him. It’s eating me alive but I know our love languages did not match up so I have to keep telling myself this. I wanted everything with him 🥺 he couldn’t give me the love I wanted and I shut down, I didn’t want to because I love him so much 😢 how do I get over him ?? I know I’m going to be in pieces for a long while and I just want to skip that part as I know he doesn’t want me back, I just want to run away, can’t stop crying. What do I do??

Be strong :')

Maintaining balance is necessary. Some people get into relationships and then sacrifice other aspects of their lives Instead of enhancing or refreshing those aspects. So when they lose the relationship they also become keenly aware of the other losses.

It's been almost a year and 4 months....it's been easy and it's been hard...sometimes you are motivated to take on the world sometimes memories of her and well it's a cycle which I've allowed to happen as I feel in time it will get better.

The end of my 8-year friendship was torn. It felt like everything, all the memories, all the texts, calls, sleepovers, shopping trips, were all wasted away and shredded into pieces that were impossible to put back together. Not a day goes past that I don't think about her more than once. What hurts is that she doesn't seem to be as affected as me, which could be an assumption but who knows. All I know is that our non-existent friendship is tarnished, lost in a void of nothing. Whoever is reading this, I'm so sorry for venting like this, I just needed to let it out.

Whoever reads this comment I wish all your problems disappear and you get true happiness in your life ❤️

I'm on month 7 of my first heartbreak. Its ups and downs. Constantly, but each time the downs are less frequent. Its going to be okay.

It all starts with you 😊

The worst part is I have to see him every day still, and he will never look at me the same, or talk to me again

When she accuses you of cheating when you haven't it really hurts. 😔

I… can’t forget her. I thought she was happy. It tore me apart when they said they weren’t. I just wasn’t what they wanted… I was so happy with them. They were the light of my day and I only got motivated to go to work everyday because she needed me… now I return to that dark place in my head. I see no way out…

I'm sorry to say this but this didn't help me much at all.

22 years and then over! She joined the police and changed. Looked down on me and the discaded me. Now i live in my sisters spare room. I might as well be dead. Everything i needed needed to breath gone!

3 weeks and a day since the breakup and I messed it up... I just want him to come back 😢

NGL this brought me a lot of hope

I’m 5 weeks in and the pain is still as heavy. We got this 🥺🖤

Bro came through with a doctorate and told me everything I already knew

4 months after my breakup. Still missing her, anxious of seeing her with others, wishful thinking makes it worse

Literally the alcohol industry thrives on those who suffer those 3 seconds after waking up in the morning

"Absolutely love your podcast! always keep me hooked. If the chance ever comes up, I'd be honoured to join as a guest as a relationship/breakup mentor. Keep up the fantastic work!

First break up hits really hard right now. It's so painful and I'm greatly devastated.

The first morning after a break up with someone you dream of spending your whole life with hurt my soul 💔

So no new insight about how to get over and I thought there cant be other things as ineffective as thought disputation of rebt

Holy cow, this video helped. And I didn't believe in therapy until now. But I learned that I need support and someone who I can be vulnerable with, but also vulnerable with me.

I'm so heartbroken and miss all the little things in the relationship, I am so sad we won't grow old together, I'm devastated. 😢

9 years with my childhood love but we brokeup because of multiple issues tried to fix it for more than a year but finally gave up. Sometimes i feel numb, sometimes i feel like dieing, i am just tired to feel anything now.

Morning are getting somewhat better! 1 1/2 years feeling depressed and sad! I still want to call her and I have, but I hung up! She didn’t answer anyway! Probably won’t! 18 yrs married! No abuse or drugs or cheating! Getting better I hope

It’s been almost a year and a half, and every now and again I spiral and miss them like crazy. I think about how in love we were and how badly it hurts now that they’ve moved on and a piece of myself still belongs to them. I hope that one day I can finally stay afloat for good and find someone who makes me feel like that again. And who feels the same about me.

From an evolutionarily biology perspective, why do we experience this incredible lifelong wrenching pain? It makes no sense.

The hardest part is getting your stuff back😂

about a year and a half of on and off dating.. it was complicated from day one but we couldn't let eachother go cause we loved each other so much. Finally called it quits today.. it's kinda relieving.. but, gosh, it's so painful.. SO so painful.. If you're going through something similar.. I'm sending you a big firm hug.. you got this. It'll take time. It'll hurt. But it's not forever. I promise you❤ We've got this.

One of the worst feelings about a break up is knowing you will have to move on to someone else that is nothing like the one you use to be with and it’s nothing you can do about it😢

Step by steps I resolved my unfinished business with this video

Watched this for dozens of times. Getting better each time.

4-ish months in.

I'm gonna tap in here because this feels like a safe space and I need the outlet.

At the end, he told me that he had lost faith in himself. That maybe: he wanted an out. He wouldn't say we were over, but I knew it so I broke things off. But I wasn't ready. And I had a couple days in between telling him I wanted to break up and us actually meeting in person so that we could have that space to end things. Those days were so hard. It's still hard. Because of the short responses I got through text, I was expecting him to be rude in person. Cold. But he wasn't, he was just him, and that was hard too haha.

When he says that he's the reason it's ending, and you know you're also responsible for things ending up where they are. It's up there with the world's toughest pills to swallow.

Occasionally, the thoughts strike me: was I not interesting enough? Did I not support him good enough? And the thing is, the answers simply don't matter. I presented himself with me. Wholly myself, trying to see this other human being for the possibilities that be. And he was going through his own course of life, and he realized we weren't working for him. Maybe I was on my way to getting to that realization, too.

And there is no resolution. Not here. Not now. I'll always remember him. Maybe someday I will be able to forgive and we can reconcile. Right now, I need to take care of me. If I do that, there is a chance that someday, the fact that we once were and that now he is doing his life and I am doing mine--there's a chance: I can swallow one of the world's toughest pills.