Your authenticity enrages the narcissist

Luckily my narc can barely work their iPhone and they have been blocked on all fronts.

Love your work in this field Dr Ramani, you’re a gift to the world 💜

THANK YOU

I am going through the situation with my kids, although they are 18 and 16, he does things gs very covertly, feeling the victim and the dumb , thst dint know anything. I have decided to stay quit and they will figure soon or later things on their own. He says things about me, super covertly, and have set a distance between my daughter and me. I decided not to make any comments, whatso ever at all. I become dead for him, not reacting to anything he does or says

I was always me when I was with my toxic ex husband. I never stopped. I realized he was weird, and couldn’t take trips together and will ruin nice moments, specially under the influence. Will pick a stupid fight. I never engaged , in fact I ridiculizaba him and told him he was a tantrum kid. I didn’t know I was doing the grey rock

Freedom is more important than money. You can always make more money.

You perfectly described what I went through with a family member. From smear campaign to legal action. I kept the high road and didn’t engage with the smear campaign. I technically won the legal case, but almost 20 years later, it still doesn’t feel like a win.

Individuation (becoming your most authentic Self) is the solution to narcissistic abuse, really! Defy! Be yourself!

Lost every1 & I Love iT ! Freedom & autonomy 🩷

Dear Dr Ramani, The narcs waste a lot of their life. I am glad for people whom are able to get away and live fulfilling lives ❤

😂😂😂 My boss punished me for going above her head and being granted the part-time hrs I asked her for. Of course, she refused to give me "all' of the hrs, because I slighted her by asking for something that would benefit me.🤷🏽‍♀️

Just seeing this and making me think of the enablers when I called narcissism out!

"Lawyers exist because of Narcissists" might be the most on-point description of this profession. 😂👍

Your channel has truly changed my life. I cannot thank you enough. Because of you I have gone no contact with my narc family which continued to destroy me and my life everyday. You r videos have made a profound impact on me. You’ve educated me on what narcissism is and now I’ve got my power back. I am no longer oppressed by my toxic family and friends. I am healing now and becoming independent. I’m breaking away from the decades of control, oppression and dominance they had over me. My life has changed because of your videos. You should be so proud of yourself because the work you do is amazing! I wouldn’t have known what narcissism was without your videos. I would have been stuck with my narcissistic family and in abuse for the rest of my life if it wasn’t for your channel. I am so grateful for the work you do so thank you once again.

Thankfully, i haven't been privy to nasty emails etc. But the undermining, dismissive and so on to paint me in a horrible light? That was going on a long time ago.

They gossip like a cackling old girl. Thing is everyone knows what he’s like. Yes they do it to and about everyone in their life and past.

DR RAMANI YOU ARE TEACHING US WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THESE PPL AND IM SO HAPPY TO KNOW ABOUT IT SO I CAN BE PREPARED AND NOT BE DEPRESSED..THANK YOU❤

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I always wondered why I got horrible headaches 🤣♥️🙌🏻🔥

My elder brother is abusive and narcissistic. My younger brother and mother are usually loving to me, but he does try to use them as pawns and turn them against me at times.

I can't do this I need to get away they go for my very cherished belongings it's just not fair

It's hard to say that I still have feelings for this person. I get deep anxiety when I see her name on my phone. She's taken me to court for a false restraining order including guns. She lost due to me keeping all of our text and interactions. As she claimed I was dangerous yet we dated for months before I was served and aware of what she was doing. I worked out of town. She wanted me to pay all of her lawyer fees and everything, it was sick. 24hrs after the ruling, she was calling me apologizing and wanting to see me. I did for clarity, and she just wanted to find a better angle to abuse me smh. Still calls from spoof numbers to this day.

It’s terrible, it’s especially for us that have spent all of our lives with them, I love her words, but pain is pain, it’s never ever going to stop hurting

I'm having a hard time getting through your videos because it's digging up a lot of old misery. But I'll keep trying.

With withholding my parents literally made it a matter of survival that if I didn't play up to them I didn't eat. I literally could go for like three days before having to come down and face them. it was aided by the fact that I had allergies so it was actual poison they insisted I had to eat because I would feel sick for days if they decided to go for a certain food that i couldn't handle. Ironically since the age of approximately four I was often required to cook for the whole family with a guilt trip about how evil I was and how I had to pull my weight to keep the family going. It wasn't required by any means. What's funny is I was still authentic, never was willing to hurt other people and so on. This is literally one of the first times I described this as you can imagine me talking about how bad this was didn't go over well. We had a pedophile next door they basically used as a threat against us so we couldn't escape their mini cult, even getting out of the house wasn't an option. In the end it's rather incredible what a child will put up with for food and even the most cruel words as far as human contact went.

My narcissist took my dehydrated mashed potatoes, shampoo and conditioner and said I have to pay her for the sandwich bags that she used for trail mix. She was being serious.

When groups of them run out of people to use around you for abuse by proxy they tend to want more coercive control through other systems.

My step-dad is a 5 star narc. Im not sure when it clicked, but it did.

He has my mom and brothers brainwashed in thinking he's so awesome, smart, creative, etc. It's his way or the highway. Every time I did something he didn't like, he wouldn't talk to, look at me or anything. I don't know how many times I've seen my mom cry bc of his childish attitude when we didn't measure up. She accidently scratched the paint off his car and immediately went hysterical and full-on panic mode. I was in middle school, and I was telling her not to cry, it's just a scratch. Many situations like that. I don't know exactly how he treated her, but I think I can guess accurately.

Now as an adult, he still tries to reel me back in. He'll send my mom with a flashy gift and she tells ME to contact HIM. "You're hurting your dad's feelings," she says. She's a good little soldier (flying monkey), and I don't even think she knows. I'm also thinking about being the therapist I so desperately needed back then.

Dr. Ramani, How do we get over those darn flashbacks?

Agree Narcissists love to abuse the legal system - Dutch child protective services is a case in point. To make it worse, 100% of the judges are also Narcissistic!

I once had my (ex) boss send me a loooong email explaining how i was running the company to the ground by spending too much time working on a project, giving me full breakdowns for every bill, on a Sunday afternoon which was also incidentally his son’s first birthday, just so he could make me feel a bit shit about myself.

I felt sorry for the kid.

I am grateful for the difference you have made in my life.

How can you combat narcissism without being narcissistic yourself ?

Setting a boundary is.
1.) Establishing a healthy reason for that boundary.
This is because you will be able to go back to it and draw from it a logical response and a value response if you need to. Whether you choose to voice it is up to you.
2.) Telling a boundary breaker about your boundaries in situations, don't do anything against your morals or compromise your integrity for anyone ever. You cannot bear the burdens of someone else's emotions, those are that person's responsibility.
3.) Make sure you spend some time doing the things you enjoy.

i am definitly getting a prenup

peter to dr ramani. thank you and u have helped me understand people. who psychologist wont say the word narcissistic its fucking insane.

Mine has let me know that he would be taking a trip during my birthday, and his. It's the first time in 34 years we haven't had our birthdays together, and I'm sad. THEN, I realized that he was doing it for spite. We are separated, , but we share guardianship of an adult disabled daughter, so going no-contact is not an option right now.Hes punishing me for wanting the divorce and separation. I thank God that God gave me a support system that is there as I fight becoming more detached from my parasite. I know he has been a parasite, and I do love my freedom, and not having to put up his chronic mess- making and disrespect for how I like to live- tidy!! I don't know why this hurt about the birthdays, but it did. Knowing that he's following the narc textbook, gives me some comfort, that I can actually understand what and why he does what he does. Thanks for these videos, Dr. Ramani- you're very informative, and authentic!!😊😊

Go along or break free and lose your entire family.. just like a cult.

This is happening to me. 😢

Succeeding on my own terms, and healing on my own terms. Ta-da!

This person that I tried to help, claimed the move to Dallas from Houston because of me and got a protective order. It was so ridiculous, I said I’ve never been 4 hours north to Dallas, why is he dragging me out here if he doesn’t want me to know? The assistant DA didn’t care, she fell for his games. He was crying in the court room behind me, which was funny, I refused to look backwards and make any eye contact. This person lost it when I said “good riddance” when I said I was done trying to help this person going back and for to rehab for drinking. It was so ridiculous, I feel bad for the person still. His everyday life must be soooo miserable. I’m authentic person. The person claimed I was stalking, but would call me from hotel and I would not know and call back and was basically set up. Called the police on me 2 times saying I was going to hurt myself. Covert narcissist, he would try to make digs at me (which I ignored) because I was trying to help the drunk person. After I said “good riddance” the vengeance came out. Glad I have the protective order, can’t contact myself either. Good riddance. I had never had such horrible luck in my life, tires going out, hand cut, shoulder dislocated; the universe was telling me to say away from this person clearly. Even his mom said “run”. She said she spent so much on him she could have put her grandkids through Harvard 3 times. The affidavit of lies was so ridiculous. I wasn’t surprised he manipulated the police, DA, and judge. Best liar I ever met. He told me “you need to learn how to lie” - it takes way too much energy to be constantly lying. He said his kideny was failing and asking all his “friends” for their kidney - his mother said he lies all the time and don’t believe it - turns out was just a power trip move to see who would consider giving his their kidney. The stories get more and more bizarre lol. This was all in 3 months until I didn’t care what happened to him anymore. He was being self destructive and wanted to act like the victim. Listening to him was like sticking your head in the laundry machine. My head would be spinning once he was done talking and wouldn’t know up from down. A real sicko deep down and pathetic constantly unhappy and unsatisfied; even though lives in highrise penthouse with rent 5k a month and he doesn’t have a job. Mom pays for it all. He said he wanted a “fleet” of cars to drive him around. I laughed and said you have to have a talent to earn that. Any slight comment would turn into “your being rude”, like after puking and then wanting me to order more wine and I say “no” - then I’m the horrible person he tells everyone. Never met anyone so sick and twisted and learned my lesson. One of his ex boyfriends killed himself and I can imagine why. So awful. Lucky I got out relatively unharmed. I believe in Karma and if there is a hell, that person has a one way ticket. Even said he sold his soul to some demon when he was 17 in-fact. I could right a whole book called “3 months with a Covert Narcissist” - the things he would do and say were so bizarre you can’t even make it. Like telling him mom he didn’t go to rehab because I wouldn’t pack his bag. Well he got on my nerves by insulting me that I didn’t know what he needed in his bag (as if I somehow know what he needs). So I said after enough insults, “I’ve never packed your bag before and I don’t know what you need for rehab, you can pack it yourself since your the expert” and I walked out. Just one example of many bizarre stories. The only person in my life that would shake me awake in the morning. I would think did he really just do that? It wasn’t a warm shake, good morning, would you like coffee. It wasn’t a shake you awake because I need you to do something for me. Insane. No one has ever shaken me awake except my mother in an emergency. Here’s another fun one, his credit cards fell out of his back pocket and I didn’t see them till I got home 45+ away. He DEMANDED I drive back and return them immediately. He called the police and said I stole them, I told the officer they felt out his back pocket and it’s not my fault, I’m not driving back there today. He manipulated the police so easy, was insane. The officer actually yelled at me he would come arrest me for credit card theft if I don’t go back immediately and return them. I said they fell out his back pocket, and it’s my fault? Insane. Everyone was just an insect in his web of lies, all caught and manipulated without realizing it.

Who would have thought being honest could be so dangerous. I choose adoption and my family all wants their greedy hands on this baby…as if they are all entitled to what God has entrusted me to create.

You dont expect the raging if you never been around a person with mental health issues. I am talking about diagnosed NPD individuals.
There are people who are having mental issues that rage as well. It very different I think from narcissist raging.
I think they wait to bait people when no one is around and rage out of control as other people gather. When your defending yourself you sound like the person you started the whole thing. There is no reasoning with these people. It like trying to talk to a rapist who simply does not care. They only seek to hurt and even some times kill others.

When their Blist attacks come out of nowhere. One minute your laughing the next their off on some narcissist injury and it feels like being suckered punch. They go completely to into a dangerous rage. Even playing victim calling the police. That shit is bat fucking crazy.

What's really scary is that there are many therapists out there who are against authenticity. They don't think it's normal. They think it's selfish to have your own identity.

The people you will lose were never there to begin with.

Is there a reason you can't talk louder 90% of your videos? I can barely hear with the volume of all the way up and headphones on

I'll se all toxic people in HELL.. keep it up.. daddys a demon slayer.. people hate me for it . Girls love me for it. I got a little Girls shes my biggest blessing in life..... how daré you narcissistic. Don't worry I'll see everyone single one im HELL ❤❤❤❤

Hi What is the difference between going through the regular growth process to "maturity" and gaining "authenticity" / becoming "authentic?"

Although I’m not having to deal with a narcissist right now or someone has these qualities and motivations in my personal life, it’s very apparent in the field I work in- politics. I’ve been able to use the insight I’m gaining and apply it to my work life and society as a whole. Extremely helpful. I encourage everyone interested to pay attention to the institutions in our lives that encourage and enforces this level of narcissism. Because as we heal and gain insight, we’ll often feel resistance and conflicts from our environment just as much as the people in it. There are narcissistic institutions we all need to heal and recover from. And in many instances, those institutions are where we earn a living. And until we can make a radical change, we’ll need to learn how to navigate those spaces. Or at least that’s my experience. Hope this makes sense.