Raising a Narcissist

I saw it in my daughter at age 12. Things are getting worse now over 10 years later. I feel like this woman is patronizing the parents of these demon children.

I don’t know if I can agree with this entirely, or it doesn’t fit me. My loving son did need some financial help to get off the ground but now at 23 he’s proud to be independent and is always thoughtful, concerned, empathetic and he seems to delight in seeing me and dad happy and come visit him as often as possible.
My daughter has never asked for a dime. But she has spent the last 16 years sabotaging me, criticizing me, laughing at me(in a bad way) controlling me, ignoring me when I’m sick or in hospital, ridiculing me, pretending her brother likes her more than me, keeping me from certain family members (not telling me when there was an outing even though they said “tell your mom”), gaslighting me, ignoring my panic attacks in public, in an airport no less, criticizing my hair, clothes, lifestyle choices.
I do not accept one ounce of blame for this. I gave her everything, I did no drugs or alcohol and had a stable marriage. She went to college and came back with a superiority complex because I had no education is the best I can make of it.

Be very, VERY careful of people who claim their kid is narcissistic, because most of the time, it is just a smear campaign from the true narcissist who has scapegoated their child their whole life and who continues to do it.

This video is incredibly triggering me, so much because as someone who's lived through a lot of abuse from my parents I know this is EXACTLY something they would use to gaslight others into thinking I was like this. Hell, they tried and they STILL try to constantly make me believe in this and how awful and ungrateful I am, as if they had given me the world, but it wasn't enough for me.
They would call me a narcissistic child in order to discredit ALL of the horrific, chronic abuse they have and they do put me through, scapegoating, lying, talking badly about me, gossiping, always and always and always lying about me to people close to me about what I am "really like", withholding funds, money from me, for my bus, my school, MY LUNCH MEALS, if I DARED do something they didn't like and stand up for myself. They tried and are trying to kick me out of the house, threatening me with calling the police, but there is nothing these kants can do since it is no their house.
I hate these people and I hate having to remember all of this trauma, because I need to in order to write about it, which us something I have to do. Also, I have to talk to a therapist when the time comes, so I can start sorting my life out.

I love how the dog is just sleeping there

So if some or all the cause of a child becoming narcissistic personality belongs with the parent(s) than how would you explain an empathic adult who was raised in a completely narcissistic home? Both parents?

This is why until you can address the internal mechanisms of how a personality forms intrinsic to the child, apart from any and all external factors, your desire to place the responsibility with the parents necessarily makes no sense.

If a child becomes narcissistic because of parenting errors and not some internal personality disorders than how can an empathic child come out of a narcissistic home environment?

did someone notice the sleeping dog XD

⭐️💜⭐️The thing is our lives twist and turn… so much depends on knowing thyself.
Genetics environments Historically events culture racism education intelligence poverty Empathy…. Social class. Omg So much plays a part.
The judgments I hear in these comments are narrow thinking and blame…. Many with narcissistic tendencies are really sick humans who use their deep pain to have some control.
I grow up with a stepmother who treated us with hate.
I hate this behaviour so much … I see it presently with my granddaughters parents.
It’s just part of life. Pain grief.
However the strength is overcoming with all the suffering and struggles.
I found looking inside self to understand self and believe you are important and learn to love you. It’s empowering what you have learned through these kinds of experiences.
Many Blessings to all.
⭐️💜⭐️

Not sure if this is still current, but I feel like contributing. What I've learned, which this video reinforces, is how to objectively interpret the meaning of "bad childhood", "abuse", "neglect" etc, all of which I've been blamed over the last decade by my now 31-year-old daughter. She's my only child and when she was 2, we lived with my parents after my marriage ended. I re-partnered, we weathered the terrific storms of blending a family, all the while offering a family life as rich as possible: Sailing, music, dancing, wider family, a network of supportive adults including her Dad. So where did it all go SO wrong? She's self-orphaned, cut off from almost everyone, especially me. Maybe in that really stressful step-family time I missed something - maybe I overlooked something not obvious to me at all? I see terrible abuse in families through my work as a crime and justice journalist, but everyone has their own threshold for what constitutes "abuse". My daughter no longer talks to me; I've been through these cycles of no contact so many times they're no longer as painful. The grief period is shorter, and I've learned to view it as a welcome break from her exhausting emotional demands. I've learned I can't argue her choice not to communicate. I've learned to not allow her to define me as a mother, I've learned to live my own life and hope she is happy with hers.

Jealousy and obsession and greedy and liers and threatening with my husbands children who stalked me on social media and collected my text messages to use against me in court for financial gain. It’s scary!

Yeah adult kids now just want parents and grandparents as an atm machine and are never there for them or love them unconditionally they Adults kids are entitled and spoiled it’s all about money some even would kill your over money !!

I hope djt's parents are watching this.

The system makes sure the parents become helicopter parenting. Schools are calling every single day about every assignment. It's so exhausting.

I think I am a narcissist or at least have some kind of cluster B personality disorder, maybe CPTSD. I'm not sure, but I do know it came from 18 years of living in an abusive, broken, unloving, neglectful, negative household where I was witness to mental/physical abuse of my mother and step-mother. I like how she says "Well that person just worked a lot and were probably kind but there's really no reason for a narcissist to exist and it's not their fault." It's absolutely their fault. They're not responsible for it now, but they're damn well responsible for the root cause.

My ex is narcissistic. We divorced & my ex sued me for custody of our son - out of revenge - our son was 3 - it scarred all of us & now my son hates women

My son is 22. Is that adulthood? He talks about girls as not being human beings

How does a stepparent find a local therapist to deal with a 50 plus adult stepchild narcissi?

Why is it that nobody wants to acknowledge that children can be and are narcissistic? I have been struggling with this for over four years now and 6 different therapy programs. He behaviors like an angel with them/public or the victim and a living terror at home. When co fronted he says “I didn’t do that, I didn’t say that or I did t mean it that way; they caused me to say that or act that way”. So, why do me and my other children have to feel abused by this behavior bcuz everyone says it’s normal he is a teen. It is at least every other conversation and surely everyday, especially when asked to take accountability for his actions; we are always imagining things or confusing his words or actions. It’s always our fault, then he dismisses our feelings and replaces it with his feels.He feels invalidated because we said we feel frustrated or abused verbally and emotionally by him.

'I made the monster and now I have to be punished for it' This is my life 😢

I have a daughter who is 38 years old, and finally have had enough. There are many reasons why we got to where we are, but the final straw for me was she didn’t contact me on Mothers Day, or my birthday. That was one, final slap in the face to me, and I figured the best thing for me is to remove myself from the situation. I am sad, hurt, angry, and afraid of being alone when I get older (I just turned 64). I will always love her, and will be here if she ever comes around, but it’s time for me to let go

It was other family that screwed my boys up and now I am so mad 😡 so mad at my family

Bingo at the end. I have reason to believe that my narc daughter has stolen as much as 40 thousand dollars from my wife, who has dementia. I have to take my wife to the bank and get them involved. My wife can't remember how much money she had, but she paid off our leased car with $11,500.00. She wanted to buy me a $2500.00 bed, but I couldn't let her when a $500.00 bed would be just fine. Now she's broke? My daughter loves money, and she is very successful at selling mortgages. She had my wife's handbag and phone. She still has the phone and refuses to give it back. If she stole money from my wife, I WILL find out, and she WILL go to prison.

Look i have high narcisisstic traits but i had to develop this mindset in order to not unalive. Like i am autistic and adhd dx at 16 and ive been through a shit ton of bullying from other students teachers(well meaning tho) and a lot of criticism from well meaning family members. So in order to not lose my mind in order to not fall into a depression or unalive myself i had to develop a narcissistic mindset. Im not willing to heal it tho. Like it makes me an extremely high achieving person bcuz i believe i can do it im entitled to achieve what i want(that doesn’t mean i don’t work hard or don’t know that i might have failure on the road but most ppl are like”id like to do this but i don’t have the skills so imma do something else” while i feel entitled to get where i want so imma work extremely hard to become good and get where i want bcuz i believe in myself i believe i can be great at everything i desire and get everything i want and i usually do. Like narcissism makes me an extremely hard working and driven person to success bcuz i crave admiration i crave excellence most people are happy being at mediocre level im not and most people don’t believe they can achieve everything they desire i do. Most people believe they are “an average person” i feel special

I’m sure there are alot of parents who THINK think their children are the narcissist when in reality the parent is the narcissist and they destroyed their relationships with their kids and now acting like the victim

My daughter seems to be incapable of showing sympathy. She’s always been so selfish. She’s entitled. She plays victim irrationally or unrealistically. She is arrogant and proud…..all those things and NOW her recent very bad behavior has led me to be convinced she’s narcissitic. The pain she’s caused me> it’s current..now, I’m bordering wanting to die, I can’t comprehend how she could lie, twist, distort, gaslight, minimize my pain. She’s left me out of HER Mother’s Day, day. Said she wanted to giver her husband opp. To show his appreciation TO HER for giving him a child. That statement seriously threw me for a loop, head spinning….oh MY GAWSH, she’s so full of herself. I told her her and her husband both had a baby, and it wasn’t just her creation. She’s said many times, “I made that”, referring to my grandson. My grandson whom I’d been babysitting since mid January but no longer….since I’ve confronted her on her extreme arrogance and I refused to allow her to manipulate the Mothers day thing. She said, “it’s just the 3 of us on Mother’s Day, but mom you can do something for me on friday”…..She’d expected, after she rejected me for Mother’s DAY, that I’d then still serve her up on friday. I kept my ground and said they’re,l be no upsubstitue mothers DAY as it’s a DAY, not a weekend, and it’s Mother’s with an ‘s’, as in plural. Anyhoo, NOPE she’s gone FULL ON smear campaign against me, her mother cause I didn’t TEXT her On Mother’s Day….SHE TOLD US friday was our makeup Mother’s Day, and so my husband, son and MIL, all ceased texts her on Mother’s Day….she’s FUMING, is threatening to keep grandson from us. Is accusing me of all sorts of thungs(lies), saying she cannot allow her son to be exposed to my verbal abuse. Hahahahahahah, it’s her bashing me while accusing ME OF BEING the brasher of everyone else. Oh the accusations, insults, and mockery….I think I shall die…I thot she loved me…but NO gratitude for all I’ve done for her…..the little shit!,,,,

My mother is narcissistic ( a covert, I only know for two years ). I have Cptsd, I only know since knowing about my mother's personality disorder. I'm an HSP and Introvert and I have never been able to set boundaries and I had issues with closeness. I did my very best and didn't treat my kids badly, but I have always felt gutted about not being able to give them a really happy childhood. I was a single working mother struggling to stay alive for all this time when raising them. My children have finally ended contact with me about two years ago and built good relationships with my narcissistic siblings and their father who is a Narcissist. Am gutted, but I have ended all the toxic relationships in my life in the past two years and realised that not having contact with my children is part of this. I have always been afraid of verbally being beaten down and degraded even on the street, by my daughter, I have always felt bad about doing anything wrong while taking their sht all the time.

I'm sure your advice has been that you can't "call them out." Protests against the narcissistic spouse only result in flying monkeys. It's always the empathic parent who gets dumped on.

A parent can say "I didn't know"...when they don't have a child who from diapers have been telling them, crying, screaming and reporting the pain from the sibling abuse AND the parental abuse for me to even bring it up. I never had an advocate. It led me to be an advocate, but still, a lonely, hard life as a result.

Nice message here

Thank you. This is the first video about Nar. Children. I have cut off my kids. It breaks my heart. He was even messing with my meds. And abusing me.

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: there’s nothing wrong with that light bulb!

Interesting this was posted in Jan 2020, when the plandemic started. It fed my adult daughter's narcissism like a Thanksgiving feast!! omg!

Karma is a serious B@@%^

What if that young adult child narcissist marries someone with borderline personality disorder and then has two babies back to back? I pray for those babies every day 🙏🏼✨❤️

This explains my middle brother. I love him, he’s been through a lot. He’s been better mentally I think because he was studying psychology and learned a lot about my mom and himself. I do not feel bad for the parents. They caused it, they chose to spoil their kid and ruined them to become dependent. I’ve always warned my mom but she felt guilty. Well mom I went through the same things he has and never received a cent or help from you because I’m a girl who’s taken care of by a man…also dealing with a oldest golden child brother who is also ruined by my mom.

My 32 year old daughter is a pathological liar, narcissistic sociopath. Her father had all these qualities. I did research and she got the DNA from her father. My ex. Divorced him when she was 10 and my other daughter 12. I did everything in my power as her mother to help her. They went to church on Sundays, ballet, tap and jazz they loved and i was always there for field trips in school and gave them bday parties every year, I loved them. I don't understand. She beat me up 4 xs in her teen years and beat up kids. My other daughter is normal and did every thing right in life. My first daughter. 😭🥺. This hurts me to the core. We gave them everything they wanted too, we weren't rich. Her very bad behavior started after the divorce 😭😱 she fought with every adult, she could not respect authority. She's had 70 jobs since 16. She's 32😦

No parent is perfect raising their children. Wondering if it's a "glitch", neurological wiring in the brain with narcissist children? I cut my son loose and wish I did it sooner. I have no regrets after what he did to me. Don't care about him, he is a stranger to me and if others ask, I say I have no children.

Very few videos on being
Parent of a narcissist! Very inlightening! Thank you!!

the world is fucking rigged as fuck. that dog doesn't give a shit about shit.

I have had to make the cut for my own mental health and physical such as " broken heart syndrome" I tolerated being back stabbed, stonewalled, disrespected and lied to my face and on and on and the psychological abuse was something I could not understand or even knew cold happen. My ex is a narcissist and he married someone 20 years older than myself who is the cruelest , most vindictive person I have ever heard of. 2 weeks ago I was on instagram and saw my son's wedding pictures and my 1 year old granddaughter I never knew I have. My heart broke that day and I cannot put myself through th at anymore.

VERY MISLEADING TITLE

This video doesn’t tell you any signs of narcissism in adult children. It discusses the guilt parents feel and causes. NOTHING about SIGNS. I’m blocking this channel so it won’t come up anymore because the titles are always ALWAYS misleading. WASTE OF MY TIME.

oh dear, I'm worried about my little niece. I've just realised my sister (her mother) is a narcissist, she is doing all these over-indulging things, and although my niece is not yet 8, she is already showing a lot of signs of narcissism (i know its way too young to diagnose/pathologise). she can't make friends at school because she's so bossy, up herself, and mean to other kids, even the teacher doesn't like her, which is terrible. she's actually had to change schools. my sister blames it on the other kids, the other kids parents, the school, the teachers etc she gets distraught if her daughter doesn't get a good behaviour sticker when she's been playing up for 90% of class, and sends a barrage of articles and research about positive reinforcement to the teacher so that she'll give her daughter the sticker!

They're all narcissistic now! TikTok shows them how and therapy when we were parenting said don't shame them or let them feel bad if they lose and everyone gets trophy's and on and on...now they're monsters!

nobody means to raise a narcissist. Blame is relative. Most of what I read is that the one of the parents is narcissistic and same sex children tend to mimic.

Do kids who had trauma or neglect grow up to NOT BE NARIASISTIC ?

I had 5 kids and they all turned out differently. I do see that the narcissistic traits of the other parent were apparently inherited, and it's just not possible that the empathic parent was to blame.

I have a narcissist step daughter and ex wanted to ruin my marriage.😢 i didn’t raise the parents does.

Guess it was our fault. Trying to make a good life for our kids. One of our daughters turned out to be an evil narcissist demon. Took all our money, mentally abused us, let us raise our grandson from birth to 6 years old, while she did whatever she wanted,then when our supplies ran out, She left us homeless and continued to stalk us and used our grandson to keep us in control and in contact. Still pushing our buttons. She stressed my husband out so bad that one day he started crying and kept asking what he did wrong raising her, over, over and over, again and again. Then he collapsed and died right in front of me. It was on her birthday.He died of a broken heart. I'm sure she killed him. It devastated and destroyed me beyond repair. I had to make a hard decision to go no contact. I moved 3000 miles away back to my hometown. Even though I don't talk to her , I try to stay in contact with my grandson, sending cards and gifts. She has been keeping tabs on me through my in laws. I recently figured this out, so I don't confide in them anymore. I just tell them I'm getting my life back together. But in reality my health is going downhill and have become a hermit, I have no friends and she made sure that I have no family. I don't have much contact with the world outside of my own bubble. I trust NO ONE. She has made me the villain with her lies. So, I just exist. I spend most of my time sleeping and hoping to die.

Dr Romani. NARCISSISM IS INHERITED!