Why Narcissist Can't "See" You (False Self as Selfobject)

This is the one thing I can't wrap my head around. No matter how many videos I've watched I can't grasp how they see people as "extension of themselves" I'm trying!

Gracias profesor

These types of personalities require too much time and energy to be involved with. Much appreciation to Dr. Sam for providing the understanding and signs for identifying people with this condition providing early detection and avoidance measures.

Ahh, is this internal/external perception of the false self responsible for the phenomenon of people that constantly refer to themselves in the third person? I've always naturally assumed that somebody constantly referring to themselves in the third person was a indicative of extreme narcissism. It seems this would explain the the actual mechanics behind it! (at least in part). p.s. Thankyou Sam Vaknin. Your work has helped me greatly in the navigation through very hard times in my life and profoundly impacted my understanding of myself, my relationships and of humanity in general. I am eternally grateful.

Can you do a video on the difference between a narcissist and a salesmen.

Back when I was 18 I had the experience of working at a company doing in-home sales for air filters & a vacuum cleaner.

There were a few salesmen that stood out above everyone, that would make a sale, when it looked & felt like the customer was struggling to pay for the trailer house we were in & had no business spending an excessive amount on a vacuum.

Are the most successful salesmen the most narcissistic?

I’ve watched so many of these videos especially around the shared fantasy and relationship cycle. The one thing I really would love to know more about is timelines and triggers in the cycles. Like, what influences how long each narcissist in each relationship spends in each cycle and what triggers them moving to each stage.
I ask because I’ve seen the same narcissists stay in 10 or even 30 year relationships with some people while with another person going through the entire cycle from idealisation to discard in 2 months. I’ve seen discards that last a few days or weeks before the hoover, and others who don’t hoover for months or years.
From watching so many videos I understand why narcissists go through each stage of the cycle (the need for separation individuation, the need to make the external object line up with the interject etc) I just don’t understand why/how/whether there are factors that influence the how long each stage of the cycle lasts and how many cycles a relationship will have.

I think my brain just exploded halfway through due to my own limitations 😂 however, thank you SO MUCH for all this incredibly valuable information. You explain it very clearly and I love how many synonyms you use when expressing an idea. I’ll come back to this video again for better understanding, it’s fascinating!

Thank you yet again Sam for this explanation. I eventualy saw the interaction with me came from within the coverts mind and they where noticably confused when I challenged the lack of truth and reality not specifically but to try and understand how they manufactured my role. So healing that you give language to this functioning. Its sheer mastery they can keep the illusion of real interaction out in the world in balance without being exposed.

DESCRIBES MOTHER 100%

An analogy that clicks for me with this is that the external world including other living beings is a set of tools to the narcissist. Nothing more nothing less. Even the false self acts as a tool.

wow Prof, that's amazing timing! had that very topic in my therapy session 2 days ago 😅 bravo 👏👏👏

It’s wild. I’ve seen this time and again having multiple children. They grow out of it when we validate them. When we see them in all their experiences and states as a young one.

The false self is what Narcissus saw in his reflection. Is he in a codependent relationship (or drama triangle) with his false self?

❤😂Sir always have to watch your videos on repeat n repeat.Thank you for your always Great Knowledge Sir.😂❤.

Control freaks.

Professor is the persona Batman an example of the false self interacting with external objects?

Coz they are " blind " ...

Would this be an example?...... during the dating part of the relationship I had with a narcissist I went out of town for a weekend. I just left. Didn't need to tell any one. He called as if I abandoned him saying, "I don't like it when you just leave". I thought it was a bit quirky but didn't think of it as a red flag - although it probably was one of the first I overlooked. We laughed it off. I thought he thinks more about me than I thought appropriate.... I was his internal object "leaving"?

I think it is very easy to understand if one imagines all the narcissist's actions performed by a robot not a human. Everything is programed and functions mathematically. It is like a "step by step" manual.

Start studying Psychology later this month. These videos are intriguing. Want to be part of the conversation and get better personal insight.

Hi Mr. Vaknin Happy Halloween! 🎃

Truly a spooky video on All hallows eve 😂

I love watching Sam Vaknin videos, but as more of a poetic performance. I find them hard to comprehend unless I give them my complete undivided attention. Can anyone recommend channels or sources or anything that I can find trustworthy to learn more about Narcissism and other personality disorders?

Thank you, Sam❤