Teen Sexual Health: 5 Things Doctors Need You To Know

When I was 18, I lost my virginity. But I felt something wasn’t right. It hurt way more than I should have and I was frustrated. I had to make up a lie to my mother to see an OBGYN. Thankfully, they diagnosed me with vaginismus and I was able to get treatment with physical therapy. I still to this day have to lie to my mom about where I am going to get tested for STDs. I’m in my 20s and still feel like my parents will judge me for having sex. Especially with multiple partners. It sucks.

These are helpful tips for teens.

However, even as a grown adult I have been made to feel extremely unsafe by two of the last three doctors. I’ve gotten sexually traumatized by them and even had to call the RAINN sexual assault because of one of them.

Then the other one implied I was having unprotected anal sex with random men and that must be the reason I had a lung condition. 🫁

Wow.

So I said to him, “Hey, doc. Why don’t we run some tests to see if I have anything?”

All NEGATIVE, bro.

I'm 13 and from Ukraine, I've been watching your videos for almost a year now and I know a lot about these things thanks to you! I have no sex ed at school, and I don't feel comfortable talking about it to my parents, thank you for providing such a great opportunity to learn about sex, periods and pregnancy without making it taboo and talking freely about it!

I never got sex education at all in middle school and so I'm curious if you can ask your doctor to teach it or if the have pamphlets

I don’t lie to my kids about sex, their body body parts, or mine. I have two little boys and they recognize that we have different body parts, know the names, and I feel like we allow for open questions. I teach teens, I know what they do. I also see so many whose parents don’t have those open conversations. We don’t have sex ed in my school system, and it breaks my heart.

Hey Dr. Jones, I’m a male and I find the information you share very important. Of course you are an OB/GYN, I was wondering if you know any credible content creators that are for focused on things like urology (I believe that’s what it is) I mean someone focused more on male sexual health.

I got so fucking lucky with my public school sex-ed. It was required to finish the course by sophomore year. We covered rape, what it does to the victims and perpetrators, all kinds of protection, the anatomy of how everything works, and types of sex too. It was 1 semester, but the teacher was fantastic and she made things fun in a way that made us feel safe to ask questions while learning accurate information

I always knew where babies were coming from but either my parents missed the part of consent or it didn't get to me. I was a very stubborn kid, so maybe that played into it as well, anyway I was sexually abused by a family member from 11 until 13, my younger sister even earlier. When I was 15 my parents found out but before that, I had a doctors appointment at my pediatrician, my mother asked me if she can stay or wait outside, I told her that she could stay, not because I wanted her to but because I didn't like the thought of kicking her out. When the doctor asked me if I was sexual active I didn't know what to say. Maybe I would have told her if my mom wasn't present, but that could have led to a misstrust of doctors for me (cause she would have to protect me) but at the same time, I could have saved my sister (I didn't know that she was suffering, the only clues I had were supressed memories that only came back years later).
I also agreed to HPV vaccination but after hearing you should be a virgin for it, I panicked and thought it wouldn't work on me because of my abuse and refused it. Later when I was 19 years old I talked with my gynacologist about and finally understood that it is only recommended not necessary to do it before being sexual active. I could have cried on the spot cause before that I felt like I was "spoiled". That my predator stole away my opportunity to be safe from HPV, so at that time I got the shots even though I was sexually active (no abuse just with consent).
Also once my sister past out when she was having a cold and on a walk and when I reached her I drove with her in the ambulance. In the hospital my mother and I talked on the phone and she told me that my sister informed her that she had a flashback of the abuse and my mom reminded me that like 10 years ago my sis had a cold and should take a shower but passed out (I was present seeing her eyes rolled up and her limp body held by my mother is burnt in my mind) and that she had a flashback at this time as well. After the call, I went to a room next door and winked the nurse in and told her about it. I wanted to make sure that they have the information they needed, cause I don't know if the combination of everything could be symptoms of something physicaly serious. The next day a psychiatrist talked to my sister in the hospital and my sis said I shouldn't have told the nurse about it. I just wanted to do the right thing 😭 I couldn't protect her from the abuse back then and when she was in the hospital my parents were out of town I tried my best to take care of my 17 year old sister. 2 weeks later I had to save her from being suicidal, when I was able to give her into responsible hands (tried a clinic, where she didn't want to stay and then to a neighbor of my parents, who worked at that clinic as a social worker) on the way home I could feel a UTI coming from the stress which led to a hospital visit 2 weeks later cause it had become Pyelonephritis.
My sister has been unstable for the last months which messes with my mental health as well and seeing this video reminds me a lot of the difficult times I had as a teenager dealing with sexual abuse with myself and later finding out that my little sister was even more traumatized, just two doors away from me 😭😭😭😭
Thank you for reading, I had to get it out cause even though it is a very good and important video, it was hard for me to watch it 💔😥

Sex ed?? WHATS THAT!!!!

Started sex Ed at8. All we learned about the other sex was basically boys have p****es and girls have v******. Then we were separated and had sex specific ed. Which was fine at that age.
It expanded into coed sex ed by 11.

I've had certain health issues for years revolving around my reproductive organs. Waiting to mention it may have caused me to need surgery. Don't ever be afraid to mention it, and if your doctor isn't listening, find a second opinion!

When you don't do this stuff, you're helping out child abusers by making their victims ignorant and shamed

I’ve had to step out at doctor appt when my girls became teens. The first time I was a bit taken aback but I want them to feel safe talking to their doctor and me!

Had youth adults stay up me and my family and my boyfriend and my friends.👍

Thinking of me in my 15th. I was send to gyno with belly pain by pediatrician. I was a virgin! Old lady doctor said she cant see anything down there and used her tools to open vagina. I screamed from pain almost fainted .All that doctor said "1st they have sex then pretending they are virgins ". Came home with bloody underwear and my thoughts are was I raped by gyno with the tools? Later when i got older my 1st sex partner never belived in my virginity and that was a scar for the rest of my life

My son asked me about how babies were made and where they came from when he was about 7-8 years old. I was completely honest with him and he still tells me now, 15+ years later, that it traumatized him and he never wants to have kids. LOL
In 4th or 5th grade we had a class about periods and body changes, one for girls, one for boys, but that's all we learned until high school. When I was a junior in high school, the health teacher opened the book to the diagrams of the sexual organs and said "This is a penis, this is a vagina. They should never touch. Sex can only be had in marriage. Lesson over." We were never taught consent, but in church they drilled it into the girls that it was their duty to god to give their husband anything he wanted, any time he wanted, in any way he wanted and taking care of him was your first priority, even when kids join the marriage and that along with having as many children as possible was how you got into heaven. We were also told that women who were molested or r-worded 'allowed' those things to happen (regardless of age) and that god wouldn't allow them into heaven because their soul was forever tainted and no matter what they did to make up for the sin they'd turned their back on god, so god turned their back on them. There were so many girls who stopped going to church after that 'lesson.'

My sex ed class was when I was in fifth grade and the parents had to consent for the student to be in the class. My parents did not consent, so I had to leave the classroom during this time. (I was the only student whose parent(s) did not consent. This was just one more thing for me to be bullied about.) This, coupled with a conservative Christian upbringing (that taught abstinence only), made this topic totally taboo. As a result, I was a victim of SA by multiple people, but felt that I had no one to turn to.

I'll never forget this presentation we attended in 8th grade where the presenter said that having sex with someone was like a pair of velcro gloves stuck together, then she put on the gloves on, stuck them together, and tried pulling them apart from each other to symbolize how serious of a decision it is and how you're stuck with that person I guess? Lol I don't remember much beyond that now, but it was....interesting to say the least lol

I went to the ob/gyn for the first time, and she asked if I was sexually active. I said "Yes, but my parents don't know". She assured me by saying: "And they won't". I felt very comfortable.
After that interaction, the same appointment, I found out I was pregnant and I told my mom the next day 😂 (Yes, I did keep the baby. I am five months pregnant now, and my partner and my parents and friends are so excited. I am turning 18 on my babies due date :3)

As someone that doesn't live in a english speaking country, I always hear about the birds and bees story, but never actually heard the damn story! But I've never been curious enough to look it up either.

My father was a pharmacist and I worked for him starting in 8th grade after school and during the summer. I sold condoms in the girls restroom at my Catholic high school. I had a letter written by a Harvard educated attorney assuring them we would keep their purchase of Palmer Pharmacy “blessed” condoms to be confidential. I told them our condoms were sin free because of our blessing of condoms and legal protection.

In California my son had to explain to his 4th grade classmates what their teacher was talking about during sex education when referring to the birds and the bees 🐝.

I appreciate these videos so much. I was unfortunately sexually harassed when I was 4 years old. I don't blame my parents for not teaching me sooner because they taught me at 6 years old and when I was 4 they were still very religious and brainwashed from their childhood

Hey MDJ! I'm a medical student wanting to go the OBGYN route. Would love if you did a react video to John Oliver's sex education episode.

NONE of these rules apply if you live in a small town and your so-called "doctor" is nothing more than a little snitchy bitchy who runs straight to your abusive parents and blabs. Oh, and don't expect that doctor, who knows FOR A FACT that your parents are "good people" and that you are a stupid, miserable liar who just needs some attention, to actually report abuse to authorities. The same goes for the "mandatory reporters" in your school. It's best to try to live with disease and/or injury if you can't make it to a physician or mandatory reporter outside your jurisdiction, for lack of a better word. I also used quotes up there because being in Snitchville, USA, negates the concept of people who actually give two turds on a log about children. If you can't ride it out until you can find a place to crash, then get outside your home town. The police won't help you there either, but at least the doctor will report it to county CPS and the police in your town. NOW. If that cop also knows FOR A FACT that your abusers are "good" people, you're in a world of hurt. Good luck, stay as safe as possible, and NEVER let any sexual health info leak to your parents in that situation be it a potential STD, common yeast infection, untreated broken bone, or PCOS. That will just get you deeper into trouble.

My sex ed this year covered sexual orientation and gender identity

Also, we need specifics about STDs/STIs - not just "they're bad; you don't want one". Well... duh, clearly, but what if I do get one? Can it be treated/cured? How do I have it treated/cured? If I get an incurable STD, what are my options? Which conditions are treatable vs. curable? Which ones are terminal? What's the best way to prevent the "Really bad" ones that can't just be cured with some Penicillin? Which ones need immediate medical treatment, and which can wait a while? (Cuz I don't want my mom to find out, but this is really itchy!) What kind of scenarios would a doctor NEED to tell my parents (legally of for my own safety)? What can I get OTC treatment for, and what requires a doctors visit? Is X condition (UTI, Yeast infection, etc.) an STD? Is it a pimple or a genital wort? We need more than just "it's bad, don't get one." We need "Here's what they are in general. They are all bad, and you probably don't want one, but some are worse than others and a lot of them are very easy to treat/cure. Here's how they can be prevented. Here's how they can be treated if you DO get one. If you have X symptoms, seek immediate medical attention because this could be X which could kill you."

the school one was real I’m from Pennsylvania and they didn’t say anything ab contraceptives until 12th grade when it’s way too late. I was also told in middle school that the only safe sex is with your spouse. It was slightly traumatic looking back to see how bad it was.

Having gone to public school in NY, it is required to take a year long Health class that talks abt both addiction but they go into depth with Sex Ed. In 8th grade and again in highschool, we watched videos on consent, one was relating consent to asking someone if they wanted tea, and then they related to someone trying to look thru your phone. I am so grateful for having an education that wants us to know these things.

I love seeing consent being advocated within sex ed. When I was in 8th grade, all my friends were doing it but I didn't want to. An 18 year old told me no one else would be attracted to me so I should enjoy it and that it was my fault he was sexually attracted to me. So I was coerced into having sex with him. I have struggled with it since.

As a teen I’m disappointed to hear that doctors will keep a child’s STI from their parents!

I went to a school in Alabama and our health teacher was only allowed to teach us about condoms. One day we had gotten done watching a video about teen pregnancy and she says “I’m just going to go about my business for the rest of the class and i do have a habit of reading out loud so ignore me” she winked and turned back to her computer read out loud “once children turn 14 in the state of alabama, they are allowed to make their own medical decisions concerning anything less than surgery. Meaning, 14 year old young women may have access to most services provided at an OBGYN, including: pregnancy tests, birth control, std testing, etc. even without parental consent.” I loved that teacher.

My school called it abstinence plus education but it was basically comprehensive with a different name to appease the angry parents

I’m probably as conservative as it gets, but knowledge is power. I made sure my 8 year old had seen the age appropriate sex Ed video (thanks Disney and mama doctor for your excellent commentary). I didn’t want her to freak out when she had her first period. You can still hold to any moral beliefs you have, it doesn’t change the scientific functioning of the body. At 11 she’s seen most of your great videos and is totally cool with asking questions. Thanks again for fact based straight forward education.

My mother tried to control my body as a teen, all that did was make me more determined to do whatever i wanted. She drove me directly down the path she didnt want for me.

Colleagues: while we want to empower kids to request parents to leave the room, as not all kids live in a safe environment, many parents will grill the teen on why the teen asked them to leave. So it’s better for the physician to ask the parent to leave. Other issues: insurance claims may not be confidential from parents. EMRs for teenage medical records should be confidential from parents by default, this decreases the chance of inadvertently outting the teen patient by mistake, we can always give parents permission to see their teens record assuming the teen is ok with this. Of course state laws complicate these issues.

It took until perhaps junior or senior year for my gym class to discuss the nature of consent and what a true yes is. It’s great that it was hyper specific on what a true yes is, but senior year of high school is far too late to explain that.

I'm so glad you brought up the HPV vaccine! I need to get it at some point soon, I was meant to receive it at school but I'm deathly afraid of needles and couldn't do it. Here in the UK we typically get it in year 8, so 12-13 years old.

I got HPV AT 16 THANKFULLY it went away but it doesn't all the time that was the first thing i got my daughter when she turned 13 was the vaccine so shes at least protected when she does decide to be sexually active

I'm younger, so I may have had more up to date sex ed, but it still sucked.
In 5th grade our school sent out a letter about how we'd be discussing puberty, and added that "gender identity is an important part of growing up and will be discussed as well.". My teacher did not cover it (and went on to call me a slur when I asked her if I could use a different name)
Sexual assault and consent wasn't discussed until 7th grade (and even then, poorly). And by that point, my girlfriend had already attempted to assault me. I had no idea it was illegal until the statute of limitations was already up.
To this day, she has gotten away with it entirely, all because our school administrators thought it was too risque to discuss consent.

I used to talk to this guy when I was 20 and he was 23 at the time he really thought u could only get stds/Stds from P in V sex I had to explain he just needed to get tested because you can get them from oral and anal sex as well and he was shocked

How is it possible that there’s a curriculum where basic biology is not required to be taught in an accurate way? That’s complete insanity

I love your videos, and I plan on showing this in my high school anatomy class, so they are aware of the right they have as teens. I wish there was a good video or information that talked about the female reproductive system better. Many of the female bodied students where unaware urine is eliminated from the body in a completely different spot than a period.

I live in Oklahoma and the only thing close to sex ed the girls in my class got was getting told if we had sex before marriage we were like “ paper plates and should be thrown away”

I'm an early teen (that's not the right word lol. I mean 12-14) and this video was really beneficial, I've always been more shy about talking to doctors, especially male doctors since I was abused by a man, I'm much more comfortable when there's a female healthcare provider in the room and thats actually how I got comfortable telling them about my issues with my brain and eventually found out I have a brain tumor. I didn't really take anything from the sex parts because i'm young but the stuff about patient doctor relationships was really good for me especially for my many visits with the neurologist etc

my doctor called my mom and told her, and my mom uses that info to find things to kick me out of the house. I found this out MANY years later after mostly repairing things with my mom. And no nothing bad was happening. Just an engaged 18 yr old being intimate with their partner.