Boundaries for Beginners: How to Set and Keep Your Boundaries

I'm happy to be listening to your videos again, Julia! This has been so helpful!

Amazing

Wow! Thai is Really good ! I’m gonna show it to my 14 ur old daughter to help her navigate life . I’m realizing from watching this I was not allowed to have boundaries as a child and I wanna learn it now !

So great, thank you, this is what I needed to hear!

Learning about Boundaries

I'm the last of six. No is not a option and boundaries are forbidden.

Outstanding! Very good diverse examples to enable us to apply them easily in multiple situations.. Thank you!

Oh, when you said "kapish", I realized you are of Polish background. ) . Thanks for the video. Love your name.

I find it's important to have people to practice Healthy boundaries. I really miss up trying to use them without someone to practice with first. It ended up causing a lot of damage.

It also has to do with personal not physical at home boundaries only

Julia your video has been a blessing to me. Thank you. Most of what you mention I ‘m leaving it. I’m taking notes because I never done boundaries with my daughters. I have 2 married daughters who live with me with their families. I didn’t set up boundaries and now they refuse to leave and find a place of their own. They been with me over 7 years. I been telling them to leave but they just ignore me. I don’t know what to do. I’m raising rent considerably this coming year. I don’t charge them the rate they charge in Southern Ca. but I will. One of my son- in- laws told me. “ you can raise all the rent you want. It doesn’t mean I will pay it. 🙏🙏🙏

This was my first boundaries lesson thank you it has helped

Thankyou SO much!! Very helpful. ❤

So helpful

Impeccable content. A book I've read on the same subject was an eye-opener. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn

My therapist suggested I listen to this. It is not that I do not already know these things. It is almost like I need confirmation that what I think I know is OK. And - yes - it is like getting "permission" to proceed. Thank you. This is me moving forward :).

How do you know your own boundaries? How does one get clear on a boundary? Can you do a video on this please? Thank you. ❤

What about when you have had so many people treat you with abuse, betrayal and breaching of your boundaries and you begin to numb out and develop cognitive dissonance. Eventually you don't even know what your boundaries are anymore. I know someone this happened to. They don't even know their own boundaries any more and just let people do what they want since they are so numb to it.

Thank you for sharing boundaries be blessed

My minister has an evening candlelit meditation service once a month. I am highly sensitive to perfumes candles. I really want to be part of it because I love listening to the live organ music during the meditation. As the church is filled with burning candles for atmosphere, I offered to supply battery operated candles so I could participate . No more than 5 people come and I know they wouldn’t mind. As the minister sets the tone, she will not accommodate me and even insinuates that I am faking my sensitivities.
Therefore, I am happy to meditate to my own music and battery operated candles in the comfort of my own home. “I get to make my own rules on my road to happiness!”

I know that I struggle with boundaries. Going to look at other vids. But one relationship in particular, I think I'm clear on my boundaries but the person pushes from all angles and I get really confused and unclear about the actual line. It all becomes confusing shades of gray. I don't know how to handle this

The consistency with boundaries. That hit home hard.

I’m new. My name is Robert . 😃

yeah telling a narcisssist what hurt my feelings doesnt work lol. my version of reality doesnt exist in their head. whatever i express that happened that he did or said somethibg thzt was hurtful is a big fat lie, it actuzlly never even happened at all according to them

I don’t struggle with setting boundaries, I struggle with setting them kindly

I was trying to write down my boundaries before watching this and I couldn’t think of any which alarmed me a little

This conversation is simple to understand but is also simplistic. People can use the boundaries concept as a passive aggressive weapon to prevent resolution of difficult relationship issues. Boundaries are easy to set when you care so little for the other that you can simply walk away. But, in a real relationship, many boundaries are not set but are negotiated.

Love the insights are very helpful thanks 🎉

I am sick of sleepover friends. We live in a coastal place where people usually drive by when they go to holidays. I’ve been hosting friends since I was single and live in a big city, for 20 years. Now i’m married for 12 years and it still is the same. İ feel like people dont get we have a life and personL space. We never stay at other peoples home. Even we dont have good financials, we stay at hotel everywhere we go. How can they feel so close to us and come to us with short notice? I serve friends so many years and dont want to trash what ive done so far. But enough. İ dont even want single close friends at my home. Don’t know what to do :/ feel like i’m stuck. My reasons are very personal. İ dont want to do extra laundry, or pay for others meal or sleep early bc they stay at living room or spend all day with them unless i have plans etc. I am ok with staying at home all day. İ dont want to be seen as selfish. But i like comfort in my place. We only have one bathroom. Ppl never mind. We will build a house next year. İ am afraid i will live like a servant or cleaning lady:/ I really need more specific advise 🙏 is it bad to hate sleepover guests?

This is a cutting-edge channel. I am glad that I have stumbled upon it. My wife comes from a culture where people (and particularly in-laws) do cross boundaries pretty often and resent being told that they shouldn't and, often, Western husbands end up becoming doormats because they fear losing their relationship. It's hard to strike a balance between showing acceptance, acknowledgment and appreciation and being strict about setting and keeping strong and firm boundaries in this kind of relationship, and all the more so, because most of the time those people cross boundaries out of ignorance and because of how the environment they grew up in shaped them. So, for me, showing understanding, trying to see reality from their point of view, and being strict about setting firm boundaries is a rather tall order to fill and a delicate balance to strike. Greetings from Italy

No more treats for you jerk ex boyfriend!!!!

Omg, you take soooo long to get on topic!! I am out. 🥱😴😴. 😠

I love how to keep boundaries.Thank you for sharing this video with me 👍💯

Thank you for this video, Julia. Liked and subscribed.

The example with the mouse pushing for reward is fantastic. I think I should start to see some people exactly like that, because they are like that.

Thank you

I've never had boundaries.
Never even heard of them until about 8 uears ago and I'm 53. I'm not even sure I can learn let alone keep them. Because I still haven't found out what to do when another crosses a boundary .

Hello, I'm Crystal and I am learning a lot about childhood trauma, bpd and issues with setting bound.

I have no problems setting and guarding my boundaries. I allow nobody get close to me, physically, nor emotionally. I also disallow anybody to become familiar with me. I require no firneds nor a girlfriend. They are cruel, malicious, parasitic, entities which I will never allow into my life again. I learned several very painful lessons. If I do not assimilate what I learned, I would be destined to repeat those painful lessons. Thus, there will never be, "friends," nor a girlfriend again.

I had a friend with which I am not close anymore. At the time she was working on her boundaries.. and after listening this video I am wondering if she took distance because she set a boundry. I was doing my best to support her by listening and including her in my life, approving her choices as long as they were healthy. She rarely took my advice tought. I noticed a big attitude change after I got into a happy relationship and renting her space for a while. At the time She had trouble in love life and considering her personal values. She started canceling plans with me, changing topic if was sharing something about me, she was asking personal intimate spicy questions about my new relationship which I didn’t want to share because it was serious( I set a new boundry), not a one night stand.But i was willing to listen her stories, as she felt more comfortable to do it.. When i introduced her to my new partner , i felt she had a conversation only with my partner, my sayings and needs felt ignored that day. After I moved in with my partner, she completely vanished, didn’t call back or ever reached out. Boundaries? Or not a true friend?

Hey Im Monique dx with BPD a while ago... found you today after my therapist gave me a boundaries assignment and I just felt so confused about how to do this. Thank you for this video❤

Why is my Father child saying its ok to steal?

Why do women have to dress up and shake their asses to perform on stage to sing I do not want to do that at all

I was rape in a coma , life all new to me again

Sky i just feel like Im also trying to help everyone

Mine was meds not talking to folks deleting social media

Good afternoon all😊

Hi I'm Ben. I just had a mental breakdown because I was training to drive a fuel tanker and my instructor just mentally abused and put his hands on me. I quit the job. I currently have no control over how my life unfolds. That was my dream job, and I didn't have the boundaries or skills to control my outcome at all. Should have got a new trainer.

I wish I learn this for life