communication skills coaching | how to respond to gaslighting at work or home

Someone I work with is Gaslighting me. Man in man and I cannot love this person. What can I do

Boundaries. Exposure. Indifference. These things frustrate a narc and will eventually run him ( or her ) off. They need to think leaving is their idea or they will keep coming around pestering you.

You are wonderful Dan!!!🌟 Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience!❤

No about saying I love you (that sounds like sexual harassment in the workplace). Maybe I like it would be better.

Love your information on what to say and when- so helpful now. ❤❤❤

love the hamburger! needed to hear that

from my experience talking in the car with a narcissist leads to an argument and road rage. dangerous place to be lol

This is an awesome video. I love this tool you created. another tool I learned in the 12th step program is similar but much more vague … The alcoholic is going to try and put the focus on you and don’t let them do that

My boss told me after the first two months that I asked my colleague in another country for help every five minutes, which was not true and got me mad and a week later repeated that infront of another colleague and put that in my KPIs. What should I do? Should I quit?

Thank you Dan! Nothing is more frustrating than being gaslit. It can be hard to not get upset. Your reality is attempting to be warped by them, and everything that is correct and right is suddenly wrong. I'll be employing these techniques going forward 😊

Captured audience

That's all very well , but if you have try everything this person doesn't talk at all !

My current experience in my work, she/they always after each little mistake I do, show anger when I take no notice, my silence, scarcity of eye contact, it's pricking their behavior into extremes.

this is so great! Thank you!

I'm terrible, I always remember those phrases later, in the moment I'm just mad, and can't focus.Damn....Also. over time I've freaking lost my empathy for people that continually hurt me on purpose.

no not in a car could cause
loss if attention
to driving and
do not distract the driver
find time when both are calm
and free to attend to resolve and seek agreement
about boundries
and reassure
loved one that
the behavior
is the concern
not the one you love
most likely a mis communication
not ill will
or planned
annoyance
just
and
good communication
smooth any
relationships of honor

My son is disrespectful. He is an adult. But his texts string me along. He only asks questions. And he will say things like "I was worried about ya!"
And his response in texts are hours or a day apart.
I just dont know what to do other than stop talking to him.

The word why. They act like they are asking a legit question, but it's not. Why are you doing it that way? Why do you do the dishes like that? Why did you make such and such decision?

Dont respond at all just ignore the person say what you gotta say and thats it walk away

Gaslighting seems like a term easily offended people would use. I just learned this term today and realized im a dick i guess. But I don't care, and this relationship is over. And that's what gaslit people feel like. So everything is ok. Holy shit this is pathetic lmao stay sober my brother, have fun with your little flock of swine when the big bad wolf comes around.

Just found your channel, glad I did

This is very hard to watch. Very confusing

I've been using 'that may be but'. Works like a charm. Thank you!!

Sir, you’re a magician .

You easily disentangle the complexities in my brain regarding handling communication.

Thank you for your generosity, for filling up our communication tool boxes.
(I’m forever thankful for the sense of confidence & ease that I get as a result of learning you’re shared knowledge)
🙏🏻🌷✨❤️✨🌷🙏🏻

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻

Well when its your gaslighting, boss you can't say "that will be the end of our relationship". Or even with a co-worker you have to work with.

Thank you. How to apply this to 'professionals' I can not sack them at this point -- yet they have done what you are talking about on many occasions.

"Conforming or transforming!" - LOVE IT ❤

I appreciate all of your videos thank you I have grown so much from you

I love this video Dan. Gaslighters twist and blame the victim and nothing feels worse than a kick when your down. Thanks for teaching effective communication so people can be heard and maybe even understood.

My Mom gave me this advise a long time ago - bring up conversations that need to be talked about in a car ride. Especially with children. It works !

Love your content, I use this in my military office 😂 it works 😅 ❤

And when all else fails, don't stay too long. This stuff is great if your partner still actually wants the relationship to work, but also learn when it's not reciprocated (then they'll have a field day with these communication attempts).

That will not work with a Narcissist
. They'll act like they agree but thats all they will be doing is acting. If your wanting to change this type of person, it will never happen

If you follow up with "I don't want that" Be prepared to always get what you "don't want" . So it very much what is going to happen especially with people who are looking for your unhappiness. If you tell them what you do or do not want... those things will be violated by anyone who does not have their own best interests at heart hence why they are not capable of having your best interests at heart either...

Ha, yeah. I have a manager that tries that, 'that may be but' crap with me. He gets ideas and comes and tells me I have to do a certain thing. And I try to politely explain to him why I cannot do it or I cannot do it that way. But he does not want to listen to reason, he just wants to try to steamroll over me with 'well that may be but... You have to, or we have to, or but you need to... And he will continue standing there trying to steamroll over me with his 'well that may be but....' Which many times I just finally have to tell him No. I am not doing it. It is not going to happen. Please leave my office. Thank you.

BEST EVER! Thank you!!

This is amazing. Thank you for sharing this!

I'm trying to figure out how to explain my situation with a coworker. I love my job but I feel uncomfortable working with her. She talks under her breath when she's around me. Sometimes I hear what she said. She is usually complaining about something. If a tool was not placed in the proper place. I also heard her complain about our customers. She will say I interrupt her. I think she is done with her thought and then I say something. In fact I can't talk to her because she is not interested in anything I have to say. I would like to get along with her but I think she could careless. Sometimes she will tell me you don't have to save all those boxes cut some up. Our boss told me not to because we were going to use them for moving. I don't say anything because I think she will cop a attitude. I was putting chairs together for our new store and she tells me not to do all of them. So I leave a few and they are still in the boxes. I finished it up because it had to get done. What can I do to protect my sanity and keep this job I love. Thanks

Can i ask . People around me gaslighting me with shit and villain way
They just make a fake cough no talk word .and it distrub me . I hate them do that . I have been consultation with doctor and they are narccistic.

How to fight with gaslighting which make fake cough just at me

No!! NOT in a CAR!! It could be life threatening, if the individual has a character disorder!!

Great video learned so much

What if you get caught off guard and are super tired or stressed and meltdown on someone (respond way too forcefully, like you snap at them). You can pull it together to calm down, apologize to them for a suddenly sharp tone, but what if they try to keep you engaged and you just need space to calm down first and there's other people present? Some people will escalate when you're trying to disengage. :/

Thank you.

There is nothing we can't say in a loving way... I'd love to believe that, but talking to someone who constantly gaslights me... I lost my shit. And in doing so I found out that the other person was only going to gaslight me more anyway. We would have just gone round in circles for another 2 hours.

What about those that shift blame. How does one deal with them. The ones that never take any responsibility it is always someone else

Thank you for your knowledge and wisdom. I am learning so much with you videos. This one about gaslighting is great but if you are dealing with a NPD ( I had two, my mother and my ex husband) you can't reason with them. They gaslighting you to get more control over you, to confuse you what is reality and what isn't. They usually add at the end that they are telling you this as they love (care) about you more than anyone else in the world and of course they never leave out telling you that they are your ( mother, husband). " I'm your mother I want the best for you" " I'm your husband I love you more than anyone will ever love you " heard this far too many times. The best option is to get as far away as possible from them. They will destroying your sanity slowly. They enjoy the attention any type, good or bad as long as they get it. Walk away! Stay away! No RUN! No words or reasoning will help. That's long gone in their world. So my advice for someone who gets gaslighted ask yourself if that person is actually a NPD or not before trying these fabulous ways of expressing yourself.

I never speak my mind, because I don’t want to get punched or get my nose broken.

What to do with that? I read in an article that if you say what people want to hear it means doormat syndrome.

There is nothing you can't say, in an loving way... At home or at work...wow

My coworker is gaslighting me.
I said to her that I want to talk about it and she said that she is not interested in and she want me to suffer. I have to work with she every day.