15-Year-Old Daughter is Having Sex With Her Boyfriend

Humans have always had sex at this age.

You can't impede them without hurting your relationship with your child, which is much more dangerous.

Now what will happen is just that she'll start lying and mistrusting you, what does not help keeping her safe.

And trust me: She will lie and mistrust you.

And the worst is that she is not wrong. The change in dynamic won't "feel" like betrayal, it is betrayal.

That is the old tale of the commanding but not guiding parent.

Bad advice.
Almost everyone does what you said and the results are far from good.

This will ricochet.

Are the people in the comments aware that not everyone is strichtly religious with their weird "no sex before marriage" stuff?

This is the worst advice I've ever heard him give

I started having sex at 15. Went on the pill through a family planning clinic. I am almost 50. Never had kids. Didn't want them.. Never got pregnant.

Me a guy currently 22 never had sex, I guess I have a serious problem with my dating life ☹

Why not the discussion, as to why? Why are you wanting to experience life in a sexual way, understanding friendship(s) and relationships at this age, is enough to shift the focus, to grow as s person? They are a young person, finding their way in the world. Ask them to figure out that equation...Challenge their growth as a human being...to build character , confidence, interests that also fulfill their development, security and knowing oneself...Sharing the fundamental building blocks for a long lasting relationship. I believe, my dad said something like... can you see going the distance with someone (marriage), someone you can see your life unfolding, beautifully with? That is the person, you want to explore in a relationship. In other words, you are wasting your time thinking otherwise. We need parents "to parent", ( give them tools) so the child can see there are steps to becoming an adult and awareness, as they make adult decisions. Not just about sex parents, but to give them tools to question why? Why this friend, why this work ethic, why believing in oneself, confidence, being a good person, why being kind, why be respectful. Parents, just go to the very fundamentals, of child development and spend time getting to know your kid. Connect. Remember, don't be afraid to have these very important conversations. They will mean the world to your young maturing child. Kids cannot be taught just by friends, media, society and understand the hard knocks that come with a balanced, challenged viewpoints and solid foundation based in love. I am a grandmother, now and wow, what challenges this next generation has is mind-blowing. We are here for it, no matter what. Be kind. You are our future.

Do people forget Sex is for making babies 🤦‍♀️
Like children are a consequence of Sex.


She’s way too young.

Birth control at 15?!?!?!?!

They're going to do it anyway so best give them supplies, advice and wisdom to the degree they'll listen.

As a society why are we afraid of babies? Their babies!

Be honest with her, say look your actions could result in a newborn. As your parent I can help you raise that baby. But consider the cost of that baby… you aren’t ready financially, vocationally… but if it comes to it I can help you raise a baby. But you will need to get a job to pay for a place… or pay us rent. Or marry that man and get him to work asap.

I have three young children, I wasn’t ready and it’s hard but I know it’s worth raising them. I could help them raise their kids if need be. Not plan A but I’ll help while they work. They also get night shift with the screaming newborn. 😂 good luck kiddo!!

I think she’s confusing being a good mom with being her daughter’s friend.

This is wrong

Sloooots lol

I lost my virginity when i was 15. I told my mom, i wasn’t forced. She didn’t get mad at me or anything. I’ve been on birth control since i was 9 for hormonal acne (started my period when i was 7). I also took other precautions to prevent pregnancy. My mom never told me to stop. And honestly, it wouldn’t have helped even if she did. I would’ve just not told her. I have an incredible relationship with my mother. I am 24. I’ve told her anytime i’m in a sexual relationship with someone. If she blew up on me when i was younger I don’t think I would’ve ever had a good relationship with her. I’m not saying sex that young is good. But, at least make sure they have the means to prevent pregnancy.

I’m glad the daughter has a safe space in the mom but mom still has to parent. The bottom line is that she’s way too young to be having sex. Not only physical but emotional consequences can result. Birth control is not 100% effective and she could end up a teenage mother. Many times even if the guy seems to be good and polite there is less likelihood of him sticking around. Daughter has so much ahead of her and there is plenty of time later for that

When my daughter is with her bf, i tell her what they do in their private time is in them. However I constantly talk to her, she’s been on birth control since she was 12/13 for non sex reasons, and I provide condoms and make sure she uses them. We talk about it, she’s only done it 2-3 times since it happened and she opens to me. So she’s having it but it’s controlled and I know she’s safe and she talks to me about it. So it’s a balance but teaching her to be an adult while still under my watch and she has been tremendous

I think the core of what’s wild to me , is allowing a 15 year old to date in general? I’m not sure when a 15 year old is even able to get that much privacy to have sex? I certainly wouldn’t have the boy in my home ! You can have the trust between the child without providing the environment to facilitate them having sex at such a young age. No sleepovers , no going to the boys house, no dates, no phone privacy, nothing . But I love ya .

I'm so glad I waited until my wedding night. I'm not saying this to pretend like this is the best choice for everyone. My parents werent even super strict. I just never liked anyone enough to date in high school and by the time I was in my 20s, I'd decided to just wait. Being 15 and not even really knowing what life, love, or sexual pleasure really is. You're probably just doing it to do it. You probably even think you have feelings for the guy (and yes sometimes those teenage romances do last). But for me, my first time was in a safe environment with a man who I didn't have to worry about whether he'd vanish next week. I knew my body & was comfortable to ask for things whereas from what heard from my friends as a teen, is that they just kinda laid there and waited for it to happen. And realized the hard way that sex isn't like you seen on TV.

Having raised teenagers and fostered a boatload of foster teens this is the most teenage thing ever...huge emotional talks late at night. Bless this mom.

I don't know why some of these comments are so harsh. Didn't we all know people who were having sex at 15? I know it's not just me. 15 year olds having sex isn't new at all...

Besides in most states the age of consent is 16, not too far from 15...

Hmm. 15 way too young and now in away I feel she has Your blessings. What's her body count gonna be by her mid twenties that good men would think twice about marrying.

If you're not ready to be married, you're not ready for boyfriend/girlfriend.

I’m probably going to ruffle some feathers with this…but here goes. As someone who lost their virginity at 14, I probably had one of the best experiences with love and connection. I was very lucky in that sense, and I know that my experience is the exception and not the rule. At the same time, I was in a serious, trusting, supportive relationship. I felt loved and safe the entire time. The relationship lasted until I went to college and even throughout my freshman year of college because it was very hard for us to let go of each other. We remained friends for years and years after that. I didn’t feel pressured at all, he never pushed me to do a single thing and I know he’d have waited years if I’d wanted to. To this day, I can say he was probably the person and that was the experience that made me feel the most precious in my life. Now, would I suggest most 14 year old freshmen in high school to lose their virginity to their boyfriends? Definitely not. At the same time, I think it’s important to emphasize that sex is something that naturally occurs between two people who deeply love and trust one another, and I’d rather my future daughter be emotionally and physically safe, even if it’s at a young age, than have an experience that’s anything less than that at any other age. Talk to teenagers about respect, safety, love, trust, boundaries, etc. Teach them to respect themselves and their own bodies and their own boundaries, because they deserve to feel so loved and safe when they cross that bridge. But beyond that, I don’t think there is too much a parent can do to “control” their son or daughter’s choices about sex in a relationship, especially if their partner is loving and kind. Shaming your child for their sexuality at a young age doesn’t help, and can really hurt them in the long run. In hindsight I can say I was very, very lucky to be with someone who respected me so much and was never careless with me. So many teenagers (and adults) have a different experience, which again, is why I know this isn’t something that would be a good idea for most teenagers. And, I’m grateful for how I was introduced to sex, love, and romantic/sexual intimacy, even at 14. I think the best thing a parent can do is instill values in your child, and be there for them through their loves and heartbreaks no matter their age. Even if you don’t approve of their behaviors, if they’re in a safe and loving relationship, that can be what matters more than their exact age a lot of the time. (One more time for the people in the back, I am NOT encouraging sex for young teenagers. I am just saying that a good first experience isn’t always 100% directly linked to age).

Interesting, but too many "absolute" statements like "15 year olds can't make good decisions. Of course they can. They may make more bad decisions than 25 year olds but it doesn't mean they don't make a lot of good decisions.

The majority of people report losing their virginity between the ages of 15 and 17. For all the people thinking this is abnormal, it's not.

Where are parents when their kids are doing this? Your job as a parent is oversight, morality and supervision (especially of your girls). An underage unmarried girl should NOT be without an adult escort (parent or sibling) at any time! this behavior is not acceptable and the parents are responsible early on in child hood to teach morality and respect for one’s body. Please do not allow your unmarried children to engage in marital activities.

This has gotta be the worst advice ever

Nah, my kids all three. Two boys one girl have the SAME rule. No girlfriends/boyfriends. No exceptions! Dating is to marry and they are not doing that until they get an education and a career. Not a job, a career. You need both parents, original parents not this divorce stepmom stepdad bull, to accomplish this. A strong gentle father and a loving wholesome mom.

She has to ask her daughter what the end game is. Is this the person she will marry? Is she ready to have a family with this guy at 15? Is she ready for contraception to fail? How will she feel about herself in case of a breakup?

Love this!!! If this was an older adult male it would be child molesting…most parents would just throw up their hands and put her on birth control….this is what this world needs more parents who are willing to take this viewpoint about this.

Let's face it teenagers are going to have sex my great-grandmother was 14 when she got married so that she wouldn't be a spinster at 16. Birth control she can legally obtain, therefore she can have sex if she wants to. Parents have often said to their sons and daughters we're going to send you off the boarding school, and not a coed boarding school and that means you're going to get to do it with your own gender because that's what happens in boarding school. And the military and the Boy Scouts anytime you separate the sexes during these years as the as the prisoners always say that's all there is, so that's what we're going to do. Once outside that boarding school or outside that chain link fence then they seek out the opposite sex. And there's always that trip to France to get those free choice termination pills as was just written into the French Constitution . By both conservatives and liberals . and then come home before the fall semester starts. Let's face it if she ends up in a singles bar at 22 years old and has never had sex she might catch a host of STDs from the various choices of men from all different walks of life that have a lot of experience playing the field. You hold someone off too long and the dangers are bigger and worse. Then just a pregnancy. And since we have science there's no need for an early pregnancy.

The train left station, her daughter ain't going to stop

Better talk about sex and pornography to your kids right after they hit Secondary school

This is so not the right advice. Going to the boyfriend’s parents will totally break her daughter’s trust in her forever and will shut down the line of open communication that they currently have. Much better to tell the daughter that you think it’s too young for such and such reason, explaining the risks (emotional and physical) and expressing why waiting is better. However that you are always there to talk about anything, and to help her stay on top of safe practices since she is now sexually active. Teenagers are going to be teenagers, and it’s much better to be honest yet supportive so you can maintain some level of control and influence, vs pushing them away so they hide things from you and rebel.

I kept waiting for someone to bring up the topic of morality. I guess that’s why society is where it’s at now.

I was 15 too. Mom let into me really hard. I'm SO glad she did not tell her daughter how "disappointed" she was in her. Mine did not handle the news well. 😬

The proliferation of porn has a lot to do with the sexual behavior of teens. Girls do things they don’t want to but they see it in porn so it's cool. Boys are numb to normal teenage sexual experiences because of what they see in porn. Kids are exposed to things married people don’t even do. The expectations put on teenage girls are horrible. The internet has ruined our children.

I would like an update, as a parent think we can all learn from her experience on how to deal with these type of situations.

I thought this call and the advice was going one direction and then it took a total turn.

Did she just say that her daughter is in love ? Omg she needs to be realistic 15 year old can't be in love

As a father, I would offer to give the boy a free vasectomy.

Wow
We ruined our children without shame and judgement prevalent in society.
This what happens when you feminized society.
So who is going to take care of the baby or just going to murder a human being.

They can do what they want to do no matter the age as long as it's in the confines of marriage

She's from my city😅

Parents do not get to decide when their kids are going to have sex. Once they hit about this age,15, You can convey your values and pray they stick but they are developing their own values and that's what is going to rule their lives going forward You can say you don't want them doing it in your house, make them go get their own birth control, etc but trying to forbid them is not going to work unless you are willing to lock them up. And telling them not to at this point is just going to make it forbidden fruit.

This video was 2 years ago. I what he is saying is true but society today has forgotten that 15 = child = can’t make decisions and allowing them to get double mastectomies like it’s nothing

I pray i never have a daughter.

Call his parents??? Forbid her to drive? This is horrible advice!!! I lost my virginity at 15 and do not regret it. I WAS in love. She told you in confidence and you are gonna betray your daughter like that. Wow. If I were her I would never go to my mom again 😞

I was in love with my boyfriend at 15. We continued to date for 6 more years and then I decided he was the one and I was ready, etc. Never talked with my parents about any of it, it's something I thought long and hard about because I wanted to. I say all that because the comment section seems to think someone young enough to be in high school must be brainless and unable to hold personal responsibility for their actions.

Sex should not be spoken about until you are married. And only then is it between you and your spouse.