Red One Pitch Meeting

No tongue in any cheeks? Well I'm out...

Wait Red One isn’t a sequel to Red Notice?

Love the pause for the Wow extends every video gets longer

Best "WOW" EVER!!

"No tongues in any cheeks"....what a line 😂

WTF is that guy's name?

I'm tempted to write a Pitch Meeting of another Christmas movie in response to this one's poor release window (Stop doing this before Thanksgiving, guys!), but instead I'll cover a general holiday movie that came out 12 years ago and did Red One's premise and tone better:
Producer Guy: So you have an animated movie for me?
Screenwriter Guy: Yes sir, I do. It's called Rise of the Guardians.
Producer Guy: Oh boy, that title sounds instant money material. What's it about?
Screenwriter Guy: Well, there's these elemental spirits called the Guardians.
Producer Guy: And do they rise?
Screenwriter Guy: They kind of already did sir. You see, they've existed for millennia to help humanity. You have Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth-
Producer Guy: Wait, this is a holiday movie? I thought you were making an epic fantasy adventure.
Screenwriter Guy: It still is, but with childhood mythical icons. Anyways, like I said, you got Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Sandman all tasked with inspiring joy and wonder by the Man of the Moon.
Producer Guy: Man of the Moon? Who's that?
Screenwriter Guy: I don't know. The moon itself? I based this script on a book that came out a while ago.
Producer Guy: Oh, so it's an adaptation? Nice! I'm sold!
Screenwriter Guy: Wait, until you hear about how Jack Frost plays a part in the story.
Producer Guy: You mean the creepy snowman inhabited by the soul of a boy's deadbeat father?
Screenwriter Guy: No, you're thinking of an entirely different character.
Producer Guy: Whoops!
Screenwriter Guy: Whoopsie! Anyway, this Jack Frost is a teenager who once tried to save his sister from drowning in an icy river only to drown himself.
Producer Guy: Oh my G-d.
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, tragic. So he's doomed as an undead frozen spirit trying to inspire fun and mischief, but no mortal sees him.
Producer Guy: And they see the others?
Screenwriter Guy: Yeah, Jack's treated as practically invisible and he feels lonely and sad.
Producer Guy: Isn't there a poem that talks about Jack Frost though? Like how he nips your nose and-
Screenwriter Guy: Hey, shut up. Anyways, despite the fact no kid believes in Jack, the Man of the Moon chooses him as the next Guardian and the others abduct him.
Producer Guy: Oh, abducting people to test their membership qualifications is TIGHT!
Screenwriter Guy: I wouldn't recommend that. Producer Guy: There are so many potential new stars we can drop a sack on and carry to Hollywood.
Screenwriter Guy: Please stop.
Producer Guy: Do they succeed?
Screenwriter Guy: Kind of. I mean, he rejects them but is taken to visit the Tooth Fairy's realm anyways. Producer Guy: Wow wow wow wow...wow.
Screenwriter Guy: But then the big bad shows up and Jack is forced to join forces to stop him.
Producer Guy: Oh boy, the Boogey Man is in this movie!
Screenwriter Guy: Actually, his name's Pitch Black. I mean, he has the same role, but he's made of darkness and doesn't really look very scary.
Producer Guy: What does he want?
Screenwriter Guy: What every epic movie villain wants, sir. Take over the world.
Producer Guy: Of course.
Screenwriter Guy: Also, to regain the recognition he thinks he deserves.
Producer Guy: How so?
Screenwriter Guy: Well, Pitch was once feared by everyone until the Guardians arrived to inspire hope, and he slowly lost his influence to the point where hardly any person believes in him.
Producer Guy: I can relate.
Screenwriter Guy: You do?
Producer Guy: Yeah, I wanted to be the most intimidating man in Hollywood. And then I discovered cocaine and now no one takes me seriously anymore.
Screenwriter Guy: Not really the same thing, but whatever.
Producer Guy: So then what happens?
Screenwriter Guy: Well, Pitch succeeds in ruining the Tooth Fairy's realm and escaping, but before the Guardians pursue him, they decide to play a game over who can take the most teeth from children.
Producer Guy: What?
Screenwriter Guy: They lost all the teeth from the Tooth Fairy realm so they have to get more teeth from scratch or else she won't be believed anymore.
Producer Guy: Don't they have better priorities?
Screenwriter Guy: No. Anyways, after they do that, Pitch attacks them with scary dark horses and manages to kill Sandman.
Producer Guy: Oh no!
Screenwriter Guy: He even lures Jack away while the other Guardians are trying to help with Easter festivities.
Producer Guy: Wait, they're concerned with that and not stopping the bad guy?
Screenwriter Guy: They're very distracted superheroes, sir.
Producer Guy: I can see that. And how does Pitch lure Jack exactly?
Screenwriter Guy: By doing a "We're not so different monologue".
Producer guy: Oh boy, that's a favorite villain thing to do lately.
Screenwriter Guy: It is sir. Fortunately, it doesn't work until Pitch threatens to strangle a baby hummingbird if Jack doesn't give him his staff.

One of these days I'm going to get that fourth "Wow"!

"it's a day" 😐

"Callum Drift"
Oh. Okay, we're making one of Dwayne Johnson's fanfictions into a movie again.

It cost $250 Million?! No way they're getting that back any time soon. Yikes!

All the Tropes in One Movie?
I bet it's Amazing.

The Ant-Man slide in the slideshow was perfection

The Oh, Boy face😂😅🤣

Where is AAA?

The story around this movie sounds better than the movie

Hollywood should be foreclosed

So basically .. the trailer I saw covers all the good parts of the movie and I do not have to see it as the best was already shown. Got it.

Oh wow wow wow...............................wow.

For the first time ever it took me 8 tries before I could finish the pitch meeting. Can't imagine how bad the movie is...

😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣😆😂🤣

It's a day. 😂

I just watched it was amazing

I just took my boys to this and they loved it. I thought it was alright for what it was. I don't get all the people online freaking out like a kid died or something when they talk about this movie 😂 it isn't that bad and it isn't great or anything special either. It's a holiday action movie and my kids loved it and I was entertained enough with the action so yeah. I mean it's the rock people expect fricken oscar worthy performances 😂😂😂

And here i thought red one was a star wars movie and its flop meant they'd finally run SW into the ground

Yeah yeah yeah

a l e v e l f o u r n a u g h t y l i s t e r ?

I never thought I would say this about a television commercial, let alone one for insurance, but...
The tie in with J.K. Simmons makes me laugh. Not enough to pay for either, however.

I spaced out while watching this dull plot.

I think the idea of the Christmas Witch repenting is that if she does it, she won't be bad anymore.

I'm constantly amazed that people continue to work with Johnson...

Oh wow wow wow.....................................................wow.

They way he stared at the camera during the chris evans becoming a better father line lmao

I wonder is assholes like Chris Evans realize they're reducing possible box office returns for their movies every time they ignorantly lecture the audience.

Well, this is definitely a movie for the "not worth pirating" list.

Hey, why did you make genuine redemption sound like a bad thing? Isn't no forgiveness something that evil people adhere to?
Shouldn't the joke have been saying that what they did to get in the snow globe was wrong whether or not they actually believe it because the redemption we see in the globe isn't earned?

It's still impressive that they got the Rock out of the jungle by compromising on a jungle adjacent location.

Dude just keeps getting funnier!! Movie looks like ass

Lol people are so done with Hollywood

I hope this movie lost money

...and some people wonder what's killing the motion picture industry.
The Rock seems to be wearing out his welcome as an "actor."

The slideshow is my favorite

I took my 12 year old and we had a great time 😊

His yellow shirt is TIGHT! Not tight like constricting, but nice.

In the 1960s, they used to release cheap, crummy Italian Christmas movies like "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't" and dupe us out of 50 cents. Those movies were bad but weren't as bad as THIS turkey, nor did they cost the GDP of a South American country.

Imagine how many indie movies you could've made for that amount of money! Let people try something new... even if 90% of those were misses, you still would've had a couple of really novel gems.

I like how he just looked dead in the face in the camera during some lines like it’s that bad

Do an “Aloha” pitch meeting

This video probably made more profit than Red One will