How Grief Affects Your Brain And What To Do About It | Better | NBC News

I just lost my grandma, I’m at a very young age (9) she died to a plastic surgery, never would do such a thing, stupid plastic surgery.

I just want to handle it already

I needed this thank you

Grief isn't always about death. When the person I thought I was going to marry decided he "could" marry me. I suffered a deep grief.

9 years in !

I lost my mum 3 days ago. The only peace is when I'm asleep. The moment I wake the realisation hits me like a bucket of cold water. There's a long journey ahead.

Just lost my older brother to brain cancer this past Sunday yesterday was the hardest day if my life knowing that im not be going to be able to hear his laugh anymore but im trying to deal with it, wish me luck 😊

❤

It’s a year and a half since I lost Leesa. I’m still very broken. Even after doing everything. Therapy, meds, acupuncture, exercise EMDR, getting out in the sunlight, eating healthy, talking with friends. I’m so worn out. I’m still miserable. I miss her so much. I wish I could find something that helps.

Lost my dad two weeks ago. Feel empty and guilty and sleeping too much. Supposed to work but can't seem to function

Months?!?!? Try years. Why do we continue to put a timeline on grief? THERE IS NONE.

I lost my dog May 31, I was not there when she died and I found out June 7th. I start crying randomly and I can’t help jt. I keep getting stomach aches and I stress eat. I woke up a lot last night, this is the second day knowing she is gone. I keep blaming myself for it, even though she was 11. I know it’s not the same as losing a person, but I have had her for 11 years and she is/was my best friend.

I've been experiencing heart palpitations for a while now. My heart is always racing which affects my sleep.

I had lost a lot of people this year and last year I'm trying to except it but it really hurts

3 year anniversary of my father’s passing… I’m still speechless in so many ways… 🕊

I lost my mom my best friend my protector february 13 2023 Im 55 she was 74 im hurt lost and numb Pray for me please I have nobody but God.

I lost my dad mom and brother within 18 months really feeling fearful and anxious at the minute overwhelmed with emotions at the minute😢 and had lost the family home also struggling to see a way out at the minute need to stay strong for people that love me my prayers are with the people going through this also🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Yes, I feel completely brain broken. After, mourning multiple immediate family members, one, right after the other, five consecutive years, in a row. Grief has changed every single member of my family into completely different individuals + everyone refuses to acknowledge or deal with it 😢

I lost my fiancé in May. He was killed in a plane crash. I genuinely don’t know how to move forward. I don’t feel like myself at all

I've lost an inspiration that had been with me since I was 5. I'm 60 now. She died the day after Valentines Day, and she took my heart with her. Inconsolable 💔

i lost my dad when i was eleven and it still hurts

Annoying upbeat background music

I feel very numb losing my grandparent. I’m not crying very much and wonder why. They we’re like my parent to me. I miss they so much. It doesn’t feel real. I can’t sleep much

What about grief that goes on and on? My husband had stroke six years ago and I cycle through this grief every month or so and it’s very intense. It doesn’t really let up.

It's nice to have it explained this way. I've hit the deep depression part is good to know in time it'll be better

I'm 30m and my dad was 60, lost him about 2 weeks ago. It's weird how although I knew everyone dies, I never expected it would just, you know, happen, like that. I'm finding it hard to accept, especially since I already had anxiety and depression before he died, and now a major pillar that was helping keep me together is gone forever.

No talk therapy. It is a major trigger.

I had this to the extreme. After losing a loved one and being under immense pressure, I became very ill. After several years I was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease (pituitary tumour that pumps out excessive amounts of cortisol) that nearly killed me. I am in remission from Cushing’s since the surgery but have never recovered from autoimmune illnesses. My fear of death is immense, it’s quite literally destroyed my life and I’ve done pretty much every therapy and healing modality there is. I will keep moving forward towards healing but some things feel far too deeply ingrained to overcome.

I lost my momma and I loss my mind!

I lost my Mum while I was living with her. I had to leave her home, but my girlfriend invited me to live with her. I was going to buy a larger home so that we could marry, live in it together and start a family.
However, I became a victim of some very irrational thoughts/actions. We didn't view many homes, but weren't very keen on any of the ones we did see.
About 9 months after my Mum died, I received my inheritance. I was suddenly in a great financial position to buy somewhere, but was very indecisive. I saw houses on the internet but wasn't even sure whether to view them. I couldn't decide on the best location to live, so when I saw a house in location 'A', I would think "But what if location B turns out to be better?", but if I saw a house in location 'B', I would think "But what if location 'A' turns out to be better?" The houses looked amazing but I only viewed one, which my girlfriend thought was in the 'wrong' location so didn't view it. I was indecisive about whether I could afford it.
Gradually, I noticed that the houses coming on to the market seemed to be not as nice as ones I had seen previously. I just thought that I would have to save harder, but over time, this made no difference either. Then the pandemic came. The chancellor scrapped stamp duty on home purchases. The problem was that as a First Time Buyer, I would have been entitled to a discount on my stamp duty. I inferred that I should wait for the duty to be reintroduced so that I could use my discount, even though I realised prices would increase (I never appreciated how much!)
My girlfriend has now dumped me and made me homeless. I've been priced out of the market in location 'A' (where I would like to live) and can't afford much in location 'B'. Mortgage rates have more than doubled and there is speculation that prices are about to fall.

When I started looking at homes online after my Mum had died, my girlfriend and I saw one online that we would have liked to have viewed, but then I got anxious about it and never arranged a viewing. I could have afforded it fairly easily, then paid the mortgage off when I received my inheritance, so looking back, I really don't know what I was thinking.
At the time, house price inflation was about 5% (although I didn't research this at the time, although it would have been easy to find out), The house was on the market for £320k. If I had realised that if I had waited for a year and inflation had stayed the same, then the price of an equivalent house in a year would have been £336k. The difference was more than I could save in a year, and in any case, why would I want to wait to buy a house at a higher price even if I had saved enough to cover the inflation?

Embarrassingly, I am a qualified accountant, so I am very frustrated, angry, disappointed etc with myself for not thinking rationally when I had a great chance to buy somewhere. When I knew I would be receiving my inheritance, I should have known that would be the best time to buy somewhere and thought of the pros and cons of locations 'A' and 'B' (instead of going around in an anxiety-driven 'What if?' loop), made a decision and stuck to it. I now know that location 'A' would have been better, but if I had thought rationally, I would have known that at the time.

I have never considered myself to be an anxious person, and I clearly didn't think my thoughts were irrational at the time I was having them, so I would recommend a course of cognitive behavioural therapy to anyone suffering from grief. If I had done so, I believe my life would be far better now. I have deprived my ex-girlfriend of her dream of having children, I've ruined my own life, the financial cost has been huge, I have a 3-hour daily commute to a job I don't enjoy (instead of a 30 minute daily commute to a job I would enjoy). My job also pays less than the job I could have been doing if I had been thinking rationally. That's what grief can do to your brain without you even realising what's going on.

Lost my wife of 24 years to brain cancer last month the 6th August so difficult right now. Im taking it one day at a time with our 4 children.

A year?

I'm sorry to all those who have lost someone. I just lost my mom, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Good to know all this. Thank you

Someone I love died today and I don’t know how to deal

My boyfriend died
In a Thursday night august The 5th ,islem was accidentally suffocated in his car because of air conditioning while he was in the garage,we planned to go out few days before his death but it never happened I saw him last 3rd of July I never knew it was the last time I would ever see his beautiful face
I miss him terribly his death was a shock the worse thing that happened to me he was 24 he was beautiful inside out fun full of life sweet gentle smart 😭he was the perfect boyfriend although our relationship was short we didn't have the time or chance to live more together I only have beautiful now painful memories of how he made me feel how we made each other feel💔 Islem bendada you made me feel like I was flying I miss you
I miss going out with you hugging you kissing you I miss talking to you I miss your details im in pain and darkness I don't know if there is any hope left for me your death took all my hopes and dreams and joy

Going through this now. I very suddenly and unexpectedly lost my husband of 22 years 6 weeks ago. I had been with him since I was only 18 and I feel completely lost and terrified. Never in a million years did I think I'd become a widow at the young age of 40.

Frances

I lost my best friend/fur baby Jan 1 this year. I rescued her off the side of a busy highway in Florida, August of 2020. She was the sweetest girl.. she was my Angel. I only had her a year and a half before her head trauma from her previous owners took her from me.. I love you Princess Tia Beanie. I will always love you.

I lost my younger brother this April and life has changed forever. Grieving is a lonely journey. Unfortunately, people don’t understand this till they experience it on a personal level. People on the outside constantly tell you to move on, get back to your life… As if you can fast forward your pain or snap out of it. Death of your loved one can completely change your world view, perspective to life. You tend to question every thing happening around you and try to make sense out of it. While it can be confusing, acceptance of pain, loss, death may come eventually as you process the information with the time. I wish and hope healing for everyone who lost their loved one

True I lost my godaughter 1 yr ago I now have persistent complex bereavement disorder oh well now iam in deep worst time of my life at 65 iam the only one remaining

This is me

I recently just lost my dog two days ago I can’t tell you how much sadness and pain I feel I was walking my three dogs and the youngest one who just turned two ended up getting hit by a car I feel so devastated

The high pitched beeping behind the soundtrack it quite stressful to listen to

Lost my sister may 26th. I'm responsible for her arrangements due to my mom's health.. this is so hard. I thought i was going crazy. Now, I'm exhausted 😭

😭

good start but grieving is more complex than we choose to believe. It depends on the brain