How to Talk To Your Child About Puberty | Dad University

How early should we start it? My brother is 12 years and I haven't done it

It's normal for conservative parents to shy away from having these discussions, and even in 'liberal' families a parent may only want to answer questions of things that they have experienced first hand (specific to their gender). If a couple has a son and daughter, it puts both parents in a position to educate, because each child will most likely want (or be encouraged) to go to the parent of their gender to ask about gender-specific questions about puberty. That being said, I think both parents should have basic knowledge of human sexual development in order to be able to talk to either child (at an appropriate age and time) about something general. But should you wait for the child to ask?

If younger children ask about adolescence and the facts of life, there are two beautiful books by Mick and Brita Manning called Where did I begin and How Will I Grow. They use proper scientific terms for all of the organs and activities. They are great tools especially for same sex parents who are fielding questions about the opposite sex.

One of the biggest obstacles I've learned as a step dad of a 13 year old is based around hygiene. His bio-dad couldn't' care less about the parental aspects of being a "dad." I've stepped up and have been with him since he was 8. Anyway, he refuses to wear deodorant or wash his face. He ends up smelling bad and his acne is...prominent. I don't want to shame him at all. However, explaining to him the importance of good hygiene seems to fall on deaf ears. I've explained to him that becoming a man means a lot more maintenance than he's used to and requires a bit of upkeep to avoid being smelly and greasy. Little things like brushing his teeth, washing his face, and wearing deodorant are small and important steps. But he still will avoid these things like they're a chore. Any advice.

Also, thank you for the videos. You've been so helpful in my journey as a (step) dad. I found out I have a little one (a first for me) on the way and have been consuming your advice on that front too.

My son is gay and 16. He's super hyper Sexualized and over focused on penises and balls. My dad owned a Gay night club so I don't care he's gay. He's so Hyper focused on sex its really bad. He don't live with me and was abused in foster care in Idaho. Idaho did nothing at all and his adopted family never hugged him or showed him affection. So he's lashing out getting older men's attention now. Idk what to do besides just give him the advice he needs and not concentrate on this Hyper sexual world. I didn't know he was alive till he was two and already in cps custody in Idaho and Idaho is a terrible place. They literally have no one that over sees the cps dept of Idaho at all.