The mentality of an abuser + what creates it

Doctors that lie and abuse the patient by playing with the patients 4 . Don't treat your patient like they are babies and they try to aggravated and antagonize the paturdè patient by playing witht42😂aà😮 Target a patient by gangsterstalk harassment 😢😢😢😢alking and har

It took me 19 years before I divorced by abuser.

Why does She do it

Abusive people are also eager to possess you to the point of abusing or killing you to prevent you from leaving

They see you as a punch bag, the bag they transfer their misery to

I can think of a couple high-profile school shootings that weren't "kids killing kids" but were adult males killing elementary school children: Sandy Hook and Uvalde. The Sandy Hook shooting also killed his mom before going to the school and carrying out the shooting.

Understanding that mindset is crucial. It's twisted how deeply rooted those patterns can be.

should’ve known my ex was gonna be abusive towards me, when he would always defend chris brown & say “ rihanna was just as bad”

You describe woke culture perfectly.

@Anapsychology have you read Dr Robert Saplosky's work? Specifically, his book Determined.

How does this work in cases of a feminine identifying individual abusing someone? It feels like you left out an entire half of the human population. Additionally don't these situations often involve notably different motivations and qualities when in the context of queer relationships? Isn't there an underlying structure of authority, a fetish of control and power beneath patriarchal norms and the general alienation of wage labor?

Thank you for your very insightful commentary on this topic and of course as always , beautifully delivered. Gorgeous lighting captured here, the long wavy curls of your hair swaying in the golden SunRays.

Learned through socialization...."more is caught than taught"
At the origin of the behavior is the relationship dynamics that have programmed the mind. The individual (he or she) then subconsciously mimics (mirrors- mirroring neurons) the behavior that they have subconsciously adopted as their belief system. In order to change one must adopt new beliefs and new relational patterns. This is a difficult process that requires CONSCIOUS EFFORT. Old patterns may continue to manifest. However, it is the accepted wrong doing and taking the responsibility for that behavior that leads to an everlasting change. It rarely happens overnight for anyone.

I'm in the process of getting help. Unfortunately these things take time.

I have a TBI, and ptsd that came from an incident that I got that TBI from.

I'm starting to become scared of myself and my reactions. If it was just ptsd I think I would be able to get better. With the TBI I don't know if I'll ever get better.

I'm still trying and intend to keep trying. I'm losing hope and becoming afraid of who I'm becoming.

Treat others how they treat you. Its that easy

It makes no sense to love your neighbor if your neighbor doesn’t love you back.

This is not always true. I was abused in every way as a kid and went on to replicate this behavior in my first and only relationship. It wasn’t until he taught me about abuse both in how I abused him and how I was abused was I able to see the error of my ways and work on ways to change. Hence, why I am here watching this video in the first place. I do believe a lot of abusers know what they are doing. But if that’s all you know the lines are easily blurred.

Thank you

Abusers do not love themselves too much, it’s about them protecting themselves, they are AFRAID, if a person knows what love is then they share it, love does not hurt others.

Watch Pornography by Andrea Dworkin. She’s the OG queen of this topic

আমি আপনাদের পায়ে পড়ি ওকে ফিরিয়ে দিন প্লীজ 😭🙏🏼😭🙏🏼😭🙏🏼😭🙏🏼😭🙏🏼😭🙏🏼

👍

Touché

You talk of responsibility and choice, but when the, often very powerful, drivers of abuse are unknown to the individual talking responsibility and making choices can seem very challenging. You present in a considered and reflective manner, that does not take into account the often powerful drivers of irrational and often immature behaviour. There can are also be powerful codependent elements in abusive relationships.

The background noise is so intense that I got Anxiety, otherwise would have loved to listen to the end

Actually... The whole "mom/dad is being abusive with me/us because they love us so much" is exactly what I have been told my whole childhood.

Great video! Thank you it's so true 😮

I adore Lundy!!!
Yep

Thank you for the effort to explain but you know i am so some with all that rubbish about narcissists and their tendencies and the cause and effects that most definitely like a Boomerang. At this moment i don't want to make time for nor play this jojo game. It is not worth it.

in my experience, something that led my abusive ex to be abusive were her insecurities. She was constantly acting out because of her insecurity, because she felt entitled to love from specific people, and when things went her way she'd shift the blame for things that happened to me. It's like she's a master at lying to herself

This is 80% about my ex "gf".

Thank you! That book sounds really good!

As a dad of a 14yr old daughter I'll be showing her this. It's so clear. Especially about the abuser being ultimately responsible for their actions despite all circumstances. I think my daughter moves in good circles with good male friends so far but we're all susceptibility to charm.

The title for the video should be 'The mentality of a male abuser'.

Justparlythings is better

Justpearlything is better

Both are as bad as each other.

How about learning what made the person turn into a abuser . And gain understanding. It's backwards healing and understanding that moves a traumatised collective forward.

Everything she described reminds me of the government ffs..... 🤣

Reminds me of my ex-wife

You know sensoring the word "shooters" does nothing to protect people and actually does more harm than good.

I liked the content of this video but the sound were giving me anxiety. Not sure if It is just life outside but it sounded so menacing...but I could be imagining it. I haven't noticed with your other videos

Its still a choice it doesn't not matter if it was childhood they could go and get help for it

I think this was absolutely the best you tube video I’ve watched lately. Really helped me understand where I stand today and where I came from 15 years back. I’m married to an abusive partner . We haven’t lived together for 15yrs but have tried to be a family just with two houses . Why ???? Because he has had the last 15 yrs to confuse the hell out of me and question my own behaviors . I’m so glad I watched this video. This has set me straight with zero doubts.

Dr Ana is awesome, I really enjoyed this video and other videos as well, keep up the great work😊

From personal experience I feel like the "I just love you so much it makes me crazy some times" line in a parent/child dynamic comes in the form of "I'm always going to be your parent, I just want to make sure you're okay" to justify boundary crossing attempts of control and invasions of privacy. I heard that a lot well into my young adulthood when I still lived with my parent and was making my first attempts at independence and cutting the enmeshment/codependency cords.

Therapists often do harm, they automatically want to see the good in people, but some people are evil all the way through.

Lundy Bancroft is the best on the subject of abuse

This seems like a description of narcissists. You could just as easily title this video as "mentality of narcissists". This video is focused on male abusers. It's pretty accurate from my experience. Could you do a video on the different ways men vs women abuse or manipulate people? I've experienced bad behavior and abuse from both sexes, and they seem to express their abuse in gender specific ways.

Thank you for this, it clarified so much and I needed that.

Man this channel is so helpful. Thanks for this.