Snake’s Medical Mishap

Why am i so confident in him having a med pack?

In my mind the slithering thing actually worked. Only problem is it ruins the actual stories timeline since it takes him so long to get back to the west. He at least had people waiting for him.

Snakes deadpan voice makes this 10times funnier

I love how casually Snake explains his disability in every limb, so calmly and unphased

If he can't slither then he's "Death Stranding" 🤣

I just imagine the nuke part of the conversation: "Holy shit major, I- I think that's a nuke.....I'm gonna need a LOT more ointment for-" then the conversation cuts out and the video ends XD love this video

"Eat a snake, haha, get it?"

Ugh, dying

The way he escaped was by BALOOONS

If only he had a ration.

...i mean outside of broken bones a lot of the equipment... clears a decent chunk of the pain, the cigar clears the bullet wound, his knife pulls out bullets, the splinters are there to pop his arm into place via a cast.
And his spine and ribs well... I'd suggest bending over a log and popping it into place. His legs can also use spare splinters to do similar measure but you aint moving and the ointment helps clog any external bleeding.
...being a witch doctor's grandson is fun
Edit: oh I guess you could also use the old "how long can you hold your breath for" to slowly pop your lungs out of your ribcages. You'd do it like... six, seven times, to keep your breathing levels stable and prevent blood from piercing your lungs, too little causes suffocation, too much causes that "happy accident"

The fucking punchline!!! 🐍

"You're fucked" LOL

I mean, hypothetically, slithering is a valid option.

JCDenton is laughing.

gotta animate this

Pretty great Snake VO btw!

I miss the metal gear stuff

The Boss probably didn’t actually intend to kill him since he was supposed to you know… she probably went “Oh F**k.”

This was genius

Eat some ration, that always works

Everyone knows you gotta eat the med pack to fully heal yourself.

I'ma sneeeeeek

screams pleasantly

What about the other things in the med kit?? He skipped the bandages and all of that other stuff

Snake: My 2 legs and arms are broken
Mayor: Can you stand?

jerma once said
if you are reduced to an eyeball
its not a kill
you still have 0.000001% health left
which is better than 0% by a good few digits, and you maintain full character functionality as a result of not being dead.
so dust your self off and keep fighting, champ
nothing stopped you
just fly around like the other eyeballs in terraria.
You are an eyeball now too so whats your excuse. Shoot lasers or something.

I was expecting snake to ask the kernel to come extract him out. And then the kernel says he can’t because that would cause an international incident if they’re caught in Russia.

What was he thinking bring all those useless media supplies? Everyone knows that a ration is enough to heal everything. Even if you're a second away from death. 😂

Just turn the game off, wait a day and he should be fine.

It saddens me to see the highest comment likes are all wrong

You've got a fantastic Snake voice!

Don't forget that canonically Big Boss undertook operation Snake Eater like a week after having his arm broken and being thrown off a bridge, and those are just his physical injuries, there's gotta be some trauma from the Boss's defection, like did they have no other physically fir soldiers in FOX that would have made more sense to send on paper?

i just realized why solid jj is called solid jj

Snake’s been though so much in these videos man. First he doesn’t get his Lunchables, then he has a stroke, now his entire body is destroyed while on a mission. Canon Snake’s suffering is nowhere near as bad as the suffering of Solid JJ’s Snake.

I gotta give props for those voices. 9 out of 10 for Snake and 7 out of 10 for the Major.

Boom

"Oh, hey, would you look at that, a mushroom cloud. Major, how much radiation do I need to become a superhero?"

I feel like snake would actually try slithering just because

I guess he just have to use the splint for every broken leg and arm and interchange it when one is fully healed. Then he can fish out the bullets with his knife, put gunpowder in the wounds, and then use his cigar to cauterize the wounds. All of this being very painful and temporary unless he can get home quickly. There's really nothing he can do about the ribs.

HA HA gottim.

I can tell the whole episode was made just for the slither joke at the end lmao

Like how snake dosen't give a fuck about him dying

Dont worry snake, u still have the healing spray, u know, the one that fixes every bone in your body

Fallout fans: have you tried taking a 1 hour nap on a dirty bedroll?

is that actually David Hayter?

High as duck watch in theism hella funny, when he said slighter I lost it

slitherrrrr

Snake sounds like postal dude

Reminds me of Sarge from RvB
“Grif, why the Hell would you give CPR for a head shot wound?”
sigh “You’re welcome sir.”
“I mean it’s just so damn inconsistent. What’s next? You gonna rub aloe vera for a bullet wound to the foot?”

Nanomachines