Uncovering BPD Truths & Finding Strength

This is such a great channel, you've come to a safe place 💞
I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago. Since then, I got out of an abusive relationship, Stopped SH and addiction, I have held down a job for 3 years so far, I workout consistently, I have more confidence within myself.
I got better by being vulnerable with 1 person close to me, therapy (lots of it), self care activities everyday (even if I didn't feel like it), positive self talk and learning as much as I could about bpd.
Regardless of what stage your are at in your journey just know that you have totally got this and you are stronger than you think, go at your own pace and forgive yourself for your mistakes 💖

i cant stand my self destruction, i mean well and feel im just being too honest, the world today is too soft i try to help but end up screwing myself EVERY TIME...

Thank you for the books and videos you’ve put out educating people on BPD. I have learned so much and truly appreciate your compassion for people that suffer with this personality disorder. I wish I’d know more about it four years ago. 🙏🙏

This is so me. It is painful, overwhelming and utterly exhausting. I wish that these traits I have were recognized earlier in my life so I might have gotten the appropriate treatment, and wouldn't still be dealing with this at 45 years old. I know that anger and resentment are not helpful; I'm sure that the professionals I saw over the years just didn't understand it, so blaming them is pointless. It was always just chalked up to depression and anxiety. But now that I am becoming more educated about BPD, I realize that it is so much more than that. And that's why medications have only been mildly to moderately effective, depending on how stressful my life external circumstances are. I can be coasting along, but when something happens that feels bigger than my capacity to tolerate it, I crumble to the ground and feel like I will never be able to build myself back up again. I don't have the internal or external resources to bounce back. Resilience has never been a tool in my toolbox. As you say, they medication can only treat the surface content, but I am still left with my core self. I can't help but feel cheated out of what could have been a more fulfilling life. So much squandered opportunity and potential and the shame that follows. Learning about BPD is a double-edged sword of ambivalence to the extreme. I am grateful to have insight, but terrified about what this means in terms of the recovery process. I wish I could just to a hard reset of myself and my life.

Medicine has helped me tremendously once I found the correct one for my chemistry. No more emptiness. Now I need the therapy part. I can do it without all of the anxiety and depression holding me back.

I’ve been in therapy over 15 years, most recently with an LPC doing CBT and DBT. In the beginning, he gave me worksheets and “homework” to do but now our sessions are just chit chat. I’m extremely intelligent but some of the concepts of therapy seem totally alien. I likened it to learning a foreign language. I wanted someone to “translate” this for me , help walk me through it and hold me accountable. I truly want to heal! I’ll do the hard work. Unfortunately I’m feeling like a failure because it took so long to find someone to agree to go through DBT with me and he expects me to read the material, understand it and implement it into every day life. It feels so hopeless. Should I seek a psychiatrist instead of an LPC? I’ve had psychiatrists before and none were able to get me into a healing journey 😢

Bpd has ruined me. I have no family support. I get sad alot I also seem to have alot of problems dealing with people.

You are an amazing Psychologist.

I have your book

What started me on the journey was doing the Myers Briggs personality test.
I ended up with a largely discussed type and found a community of people who were me..People to look up to..and to understand my core strengths.

After weeks, months, and years of work I kept coming back to trauma, adhd, cpstd and bdp symptoms. But untangling what means what..making dbt more effective...understanding my family more ...diving into the 16 personality types really helped

I wish there was more doctors like this not trying to drug you up to prolong and continue having the same problems. But getting to the root of them to began resolving them naturally. So thankful to have seen this video. Thank you Dr. Daniel Fox.

i was so scared of watching your videos because i thought u were gonna stigmatize us but youre saving my relationship, and most importantly myself. well i guess its me doing the work by choosing to watch these and apply them into my life. but still!! thank you!!!

Yes yes, all those things you have mentioned are great! But how to make a BPD person understand that she needs treatment (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). I told her she has BPD and needs treatment but she does NOT admit it and says "I don't have BPD, you have it. Very frustrating. So, please advise or make videos on how to make a person with BPD seek treatment? I am pretty sure almost all spouses with BPD have these challenges. So, if you can help us with this it would be a really great video!!

Thank you for giving us all hope ❤

Thank you! You are amazing! I've never heard anyone explain or understand BPD and literally know how I feel and what it's like on a daily basis. It's refreshing to know that I'm not the bad guy this is not a choice it's not that simple , "WE " wish we weren't ❤❤❤built this way if I could rub a belly or snap fingers or get on my magic carpet tomorrow and be "normal" absolutely in a heartheat ! Miracles don't happen overnight but these videos help so thank you! .... Appreciate you! 🙏❤️‍🩹

This guy is the real deal!

It is manipulative. HOWEVER, it's not with the intention of hurting you. We all manipulate our environment to get our needs met. There is skillful manipulation, where we take other people's feelings and needs into consideration because we have the capacity to empathise. We have mentalising skills. Then there's unskilled manipulation, which lacks empathy and mentalising skills, which makes others feel used. The main issue I find, is that emotionally immature people can't see why they have to consider other people... unfortunately this is the BPD dynamic, then you withdraw and their fears come true.

Well, it seems Im the first BPD person who wanted to people to be afraid of me.. in the past… on the other side, it turned out later that i just wanted revenge… i was really raised in horrible circumstances and often beaten and abused.. well, perhaps there is something more, but diagnosis bpd was proved several times.

Omg! I cried watching this cause I how you explain it made me understand myself . I’ve been diagnosed with BPdin 2015 but never got any help for it and never understood it. i’ve been trying to get help for it but it’s hard to find help. I was just hospitalized three times in the last month because of self harm and attempt of suicide after my boyfriend left me feeling worthless and him basically confirming that I’m worthless by saying I’m worthless and wants nothing to do with me. Thank you, Dr. Fox because I can now understand why I do what I do in all my relationships in the past.

Love your vids. Compassion and understanding is so important.

BPD used to be seen as a subset of schizophrenia, meaning that the person was actually borderline psychotic. That's how they looked at it in the seventies and the eighties..

Thanks!

I would like to know your thoughts on if those with bpd want most to have a life without the stress and anxiety of responsibility/life issues, paired with people surrounding them that take care of them like a loving mother/father would. Is there any relevance in this idea? Thank you.

...I appreciate your mention of you and the BPD client must be willing to work TOGETHER. There's then an obvious unspoken but intangible agreement made by you both that creates a role for you and a role for the client. Both of you agree on these roles. However, if the tables were shaken and only one of you worked to uphold a goal, then it's not working TOGETHER; the relationship is unreciprocated, thereby making it extremely difficult to progress in unison.

I disagree with there being "No medications to treat personality". Psychedelics have been critical in my recovery, along with AI guidance. I'm writing a book about this very thing. I'm a former nurse and current Cybersecurity Engineer, so marrying the two strategies feels like it's always what I was meant to do. It's not a magic cure, but used correctly with intention and reflection, and I've accelerated my recovery from this horrible affliction.

I'm working now to bolster the progress with a good foundation in DBT and mindfulness to really get the most out of the treatment.

Love your videos. Please make more about solutions as well.

I just got married in september and my wife reveal all symptoms in full blown for BPD, she got officially diagnosed. It's not a coincidence that her identity issues manifested as she got married and the tramau from a single parent home revealed itself in these way. I am struggling here to help her and myself. I feel powerless and hopeless especially when we promised our rest of our lives together. Daniel please help us. Pray for us.

I’m no expert but I wonder if there is truly any such thing as BPD in the absence of comorbidity. I’ve been trying to track the development of some of these traits back thru my own past, and I’m starting to suspect that they are adaptations to life with a few other problems.

I will say, bpd people do themselves a disservice by downplaying the harm they can cause. I know what theyre doing is not intentional, but bpd people on the internet literally run public relations for this disorder like its some magical fairytale disorder where you just get to have lots of hot sex and have fun because bpd is such a quirky fun disorder.

I have a close friend that has bpd, hes wonderful, ive gotten really good at navigating his triggers and hes worked really hard to change, but hell tell you, when he was undiagnosed and had no coping skills, he was a disaster that would destroy every relationship he had. He still struggles tbh, he still splits from time to time, rarely on me, but for people that dont know how to interact with him and dont know his heart like i do, it can be very challenging to maintain those friendships because they just see him as a jerk, not as the amazingly caring guy that actually loves people too much and is absolutely terrified of losing them.

I find this the least threatening/ triggering video on BPD I watched. Maybe I'm healing, but maybe Dr. Fox has found a way to be even more authentically positive. Happy Christmas, my fellow borderline monsterlings!

UNDERSTANDING IT… and empathizing… and years of remaining patient, responsive, routine & predictable does not excuse ABUSE, splitting, or continued addictions that endanger the family- the children or the spouse…

They can only threaten to leave during every argument so many times before we let them go…. Only for them to switch into primary sociopath/ psychopath mode and spend years DESTROYING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN.

Despite- you not doing any harm to them!

If they want to relate in ‘healthy ways’ maybe they shouldn’t throw objects at spouse & children, rip doors off hinges, tackle spouses with infants in their arms, wield knives while swearing at their children on their children’s birthdays, get drunk and drive, steal family money and gamble it away….

4-6 years of treatment to be told at the end "it was your parents fault for not knowing how to raise a child the whole time"!? Pass.

I appreciate your content!
Hope:
I am 3 years sober
3 years celibacy
No longer in relationships with narcissists
Back in University and have over a 3.0

Still struggle with making friends and have social anxiety but I have a two year old boy and he loves me and I love him ❤

Thank you so much for all your hard work with us BPD folks. I appreciate your insight so much

I did the work, but I realised it's not enough for the people we hurt. We sometimes can't change at the pace people want us to, and they will leave. It's very hard to live with that and not feel the guilt and blame when you caused all the unecessary pain.

BPD people are little aholes that see their manipulation work and keep doing it, they're a tornado that destroy lives, don't be condescendent and call it like it is, they're awful people that deserve to be left alone.

At 40yrs it's my first time finding clear information about my condition. I was now hopeless and deeply suffering 😪 😔 💔

I have been diagnosed bpd since 2019. I am 190 days sober from alcohol and other drugs ! This has been very difficult, but with therapy and medication I’ve grown so much. Thank you so much for your videos they’re so helpful!!!

Dear doctor , u r a gift for the universe . My daughter is going through it, and as a mother ur videos are helping me
Is there any online way to contact u
She is in substance abuse , alcohol,she is only 22
She tried other drugs not in it
Going for therapy but it's been 4days she is not home
Today I am hoping she will come

I’m really struggling to understand. My daughter is bpd and vile to me .
I honestly did not abandon her so why ???!

I’m really struggling to understand. My daughter is bpd and vile to me .
I honestly did not abandon her so why ???!

All of those years I was in the dark about what is wrong with my daughter.. thank god I discovered your videos Dr Fox .. you are a breathe of fresh air,

You’ve just given me so much hope today! I’m in recovery from both addiction and BPD. While there’re days when you can’t just tell the family to shut up, there are some others when hope feels reachable.

I was diagnosed with severe PTSD however, all of the behaviors exhibit BPD six years ago I started my journey. I have completed my CBT my DBT. I am about to go onto my second round of EMDR every day. I struggle I have overcome, alcohol, addiction, heroin, addiction, crack, addiction, pill addiction, and the worst of all two codependent relationships lasting 20 years. I am a shriver. I’m not just a survivor. Please share my story.

I feel alone and suffering and scared

Thank you Dr. Fox you're saving lives.

I learned that I was most comfortable alone or at least as "Invisible" as possible in social situations. Lots of work, years worth but I am way more social and make friends pretty easily

I want to send this to my exPBD girlfriend, but I believe I will only trigguer her and she will take it as a criticism. We've been in NC for 1,5 months. How can I share with her this information so she doesn't take it personally?