Therapist Reacts to Couples Trying to Save Their Relationships

The guy who said "me" while pointing, I think he could've just been pointing at the question card as "for this question it's me"

You couldn't pay me to have a conversation with none of my exes

What I would like to know is, if the CUT gets ethical permission to ask these type of questions and engage in these sort of what you could call experiments, from a psychological view as the therapist mentioned, some of these questions seem to be for entertainment which is counteractive. I also feel like honestly, closure is overrated and at times we may need to move on with our life instead of revisiting certain relationships, if the couples wanted to go ahead and try to fix their relationship, I fail to understand why they didn't proceed with professional help instead.

Wow, Owen straight up SUCKS.

I love Steph! Could listen to her all day

That instrumental in the intro tho..... who made that fire?!

@StephAnya I don't understand how you could even suggest that the girl in the het dynamic is being coldhearted. She's clearly super uncomfortable with this dude dragging all this up and confessing that he's still in love with her when she thought they had both moved on to friendship. Like, that is not the good kind of surprise when he says he's still in love with her, that is red lights flashing warning surprise, and it should be.

I've seen guys who talk about girls like he does and they ended up being stalkers. She needs to carefully disentangle herself from him and put safety measures in place ASAP. He's got entitled Nice Guy vibes screaming from his body language and expressions. Maybe he won't go off the rails and will just drift around campus being a sad puppy, but better safe than sorry. It's not hard to get a new phone number and if they're students then she can move pretty easily at end of semester, if not sooner.

Im glad someone else is showing how ridiculous and exploitative this show is

Really useful perspectives shared by the therapist. Awesome breakdowns and explanations. Thank you Therapist lady. 🤎

The question of whether or not she's slept with anyone else is absolutely valid. A yes automatically means it's over.

When she said “I think you’re beautiful, even when you cry” 😢 I hope they can work it out

if she did a therapist podcast, I would definitely listen because the way she explains things and sees things within a relationship are so eye-opening

so glad this popped up on my YT feed ❤️ what a great video!!

Stacey just blew me because I sure looked at her as a victim lol.

the lesbian couple made me cry dude wow.. I hope they work it out because they seem so in tune with each other and yes so graceful towards each other.

It would be nice to see 30 questions to ask in the early stages of a relationship

I cannot poop Man and Im watching this wtf idk why but while im here I find it out interesting lmao

Can yall make a Playlist of just this therapist? ❤she is amazing 👏🏼

The Cut should hire you as a consultant omg

I really loved hearing how the therapist thought about the interactions. Really enjoyed the diversity of participants and their relationship types

The person saying "me" and pointing at the partner might also be expressing a lack of mental clarity about their relationship that is normally the result of being on the receiving hand of intentional or unintentional gaslighting or unsafe behaviour.

can you make a video about the UPS DSP Integrad school i got my road test the 12th

The lesbian couple is so beautiful, they have both their own problems that seem to led to the breakup, but no hard feelings at all. They communicate so well and are so honest but also so caring. They could work that out together. I just love them.

I had a very emotionally abusive ex, and about 8 years later I reached out to him and told him thank you. I said thank you for helping me realize that I had no boundaries and no self respect. It was a mature convo and he was shocked that I forgave him. We met up once just to hang / smoke, when I was in the area, and he said I was a different person and could see my confidence. (Which is an issue he had with me). I’m in a much healthier amazing relationship now, I am thankful of that ex for the lessons I learned.
If you’re going through a bad breakup, just know that with self reflection, self love and care, that fairytale love can be yours!! ❤

I need a tharpist like this.

I really enjoyed this… I can take some of this advice to better my own communication

Love this

I have a friend who has been married to her wife for 15 years. She said that if at any point they felt they needed a couples therapist it would basically be the beginning of the end. She said if they want to each do individual therapy then that's fine but for couple's therapy it means communication has broken down and they may as well separate.

You can tell that Stacy’s wife has to placate her, borderline fawning. I immediately noticed the dynamic of “angry black woman and crying white woman”, and that Stacy appears to rely on that in order to provoke comforting behaviours in her wife. I’m not implying that Stacy is racist, I am simply saying that even those we love the most can become a life raft in the desperate state of drowning. In other words, Stacy’s displays of emotions signal a comforting response in her wife, even to the cost of her wife’s own wants and needs. This will always lead to divorce because Stacy’s comfort is resourced from her wife’s contingency. It’s important to understand that it’s extremely unlikely that Stacy does this on purpose, or is intentionally milking contingent or fawning behaviours out of her wife. It’s normal behaviour in people who are depressed or at risk of depression. To Stacy’s nervous system, all that matters is her wife is present and signalling affection, no matter the cost. How it’s obtained is also irrelevant, even if it leans on harmful social ideologies like racial dynamics. A mediator like a relationship therapist acts more as an anchor of cognisance and a neutral voice of reason than anything else, as though the therapist is an environment in which both parties are socially conditioned to be aware against the conditionings or cycle of their relationship.

I know that this will annoy people with how I’ve illustrated the nature of this couples relationship. I understand that some people do not see adults as a kind of sequel to children, or an extension of the child, but think of how a baby makes annoying and incessant noises and the noise ceases as soon as the need is met. It’s a simple social cue, I make you uncomfortable until you make me comfortable. An adult will rely on what works to meet their own needs before considering what could work and meet the needs of themselves and others. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, in fact I think that life is so beautiful and wonderful that animals had evolved to respond at all for the reliability of a stimulus. I think that becoming aware of how you might hurt others without realising it is more important than circlejerking positive psychology jargon which reinforces attachment and poor behaviours. I say this not to upset people, but because I believe that people deserve better. The needs of the noisiest cryer is met first, the behaviour is survived as it is justified in the imminence of its cessation. The noisiest cryer feeds first, because even the most hungry will bend backwards for the comfort and security of silence. Look at sibling dynamics. “We let her have what she wants because then she stops biting” in one sibling is “I bite because I get what I want” in another. There’s no judgement, this is just the trajectory that humans are taking in the learning modalities of succeeding generations. It doesn’t seem to be a useful set of behaviours in marriage, cooperation and putting another first is becoming an ecological niche LMFAO

The first couple really breaking my heart☹️😭😭😭😭

This was a really helpful video! I loved hearing your professional perspective

Lol, no normal couples or just gays?! Lol again i wont even watch it

The man laughing hysterically at the sex question was sus af...

this has nothing to do with anything, but i love her nails

Name 3 reasons you shouldn’t be together…
“I think I can be too much for you— with my sadness and anger.”
“I think you’re really beautiful. Even when you cry.”

That. GUTTED. Me. I’m a sobbing mess out of nowhere. WOW. P.S. I love them and hope they work.

1st video I've seen on this channel & i love it. She's so sincere & giving such clear explanations.
Also kinda shocked to hear folks not having discussed sex before. From day 1 my wife & i always give feedback. How else can you make sure they're having the best possible time?

I have a problem. I love drama 😅 LMAO.

Is there a list of the questions?

that one dude that wanted to get with the girl again really kinda freaked me out
the boundary crossing is all too familiar, and him not understanding that she moved on was a little unnerving

Are you Khoisan?

LIKE

Am I the only one who thinks it looks that one guy actually said “him” instead of “me”

I'm working towards being a therapist, and my hardest challenge is watching my friends hurt in their lives and their relationships. And sometimes I wish they could have these conversations with their partners and themselves, so I think it's great to see these conversations and to make a video about these conversations where it's not always going to end how we want it to.