Autistic Masking In 3 Minutes - Autistic Masking In A Nutshell

But surely non-autistic people have to make an effort to behave in what is considered to be a socially acceptable manner, whether they really want to or not.

I don't want to fit in, I f*cking hate people, I don't want anything to do with our diseased society. F*ck acceptance, what weak POS would want to be accepted by sycophants and cowards.

I don’t think we need to be defined by an autistic diagnosis, we can be whatever we want to be, we may have some autistic traits but I don’t like to defined others by their diagnosis, the spectrum is so big. I like to say that I am different, but all of us are.

I also suffer from gender dysphoria. A double whammy of hiding myself away.

I think i may be autistic throughout my life i have been doing this masking thing. I think a professional assessment is in order

Thank you for explaining this so well! I tried to give my take on it yesterday and was not as clear 😂

This explained it really well
I have a boyfriend and sometimes i feel so fake myself even tho i know i love him
Its so weird almost like my masking becomes automatic and i cant control it so i myself feel fake to me
Why cant life just be easier...

Maintaining friends, hobbies, and jobs, are SO hard to try and keep with you for life. However, the more i keep doing it or still have it, i get burnt out. Not wanting to do anything, i dont feel good. like i have this shadow larking behind me saying: "Get rid of them." And sometimes i do listen to the shadow behind me. Unfriending friends, and never seeing them again. I even unfriended one of my really close friends and now i feel so lonely. And for me, coming along true, honest, friends, are so hard to find these days, its awful. 😢😭

Making is stressful when it is ineffective and leads to more ostracism.

I’m not autistic but I go with the flow a lot of time in social settings, works, interactions with others. I can’t always speak my mind 100% either, and sometimes I’m charged up but I don’t want others to know that. so how is my experience different/the same as masking?

I masked so well that I don't want to go back to being autistic

I was diagnosed with autism as a child and was in special needs classes in my infant and junior school years. During this time I was bullied as I told people of my autism. When I started high school I got back into mainstream and I decided to not tell anyone about being autistic and didn't get bullied anymore. I'm now in my 40's and have learnt to mask my autism. I feel people treat me differently when they know and I just want to blend in with society. I know this isn't mentally healthy but I want to be seen as myself before anything else.

I feel that everyone masks to fit in especially at job interviews.

Very well-done summation of this subject. Thank you Orion, you are really helping to bring understanding to all aspects of what goes on with being Autistic.

I had to mask to protect myself professionally and personally

Don’t we all mask???

OMG, This explains why I get jobs so easily, then lose them and the employer always says things like you use to be like this, but not your not so we have to let you go....I just made this correlation. Recently diagnosed at 35.

I don't think it's only about hiding things though. Sometimes it's about showing things

We might have to fake the signs of an emotion that we're actually feeling, just to make sure that the non-autistic people around us believe we really are feeling it. The signs might be fake, but the emotion isn't

It's not even that the signs are fake, exactly. If you make eye contact with someone to show that you're paying attention, and you really are paying attention, then that's not fake. A better word would be that it's "deliberate" or "conscious". We're always conscious and aware of the signals we're sending out

It's like breathing. Most of the time you just breathe automatically, and you don't have to put any thought into it at all. But once you start thinking about it, you have to do it consciously. It takes a certain amount of your brain power and focus just to breathe. Imagine how exhausted people would be if they had to consciously breathe all the time, if they couldn't leave it to automatic processes. That's what masking is like. And like breathing, you often have to do it. If you stop doing it, you can lose the things you need to live

supressing whats happening inside Presenting a different look to the outside world to be Accepted

This is an unpopular opinion. If you know how to “mask” you probably don’t have the condition.
I was diagnosed since I was 7 years old. I had no clue how to interact with people and to this day, it’s extremely difficult. It was only until recently, I have heard of the term “masking”.

I found being an A-hole autist was more socially aceptable for my particular flavor of tuetonic tism. Its not so much as masking as delivery.

Something I did wish I knew growing up was supplementing L-dopa.

If you visit or move to a new country , new company, new land, and they don't speak the language you speak, a neurotypical person will definitely "mask" a little, and mirror behaviors of the locals in order to be acceptable to the new group in a new country, new company, new land.

You don't lose yourself, but you gain new skills and adapt yourself to the new people there, because you are expected to mirror the new group, so you can be welcomed to the group and by the group. That's just about being socially conscious. That's what neurotypical persons are expected to do. ❄❄❄❄❄So, why is it different when an autistic person does it? I'm asking this here because I'm trying to understand autism. This is something I've been hearing about only very recently. I'm probably old enough to be everyone's parent in this group. So, I didn't grow up hearing this term. Thanks.

I think my ex bf of 14 years has autism but never told me, nor did I know what autism was. He used a lot of stimming when he was in social situations, even in front of me.

I want everyone here who thinks they have autism that I would have been MORE ACCEPTING of him had he told me. I would have had more respect for him had he been honest about his vulnerabilities. His continual masking and making stuff up and projecting his insecurities destroyed any trust and respect I had for him. I felt used and abused because of his constant gaslighting and denials of his failures and weaknesses. I would have loved him if he were straight with me and didn't constantly cover up and hide himself.

After 14 yrs, I had to leave.

i am autistic AF without the unconsciously created mask.

To me it always feels like I'm watching myself perform from the outside. I don't know how to explain it any better.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 38 and actually found out by accident. I'd made a specific comment in therapy and she asked if she could ask me some questions about that. It was a Q something questionnaire and I got a higher number. That started the ball rolling with my GP and further referrals. I believe they never picked it up earlier because I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 13. My behaviours were attributed to growing up with a verbally abusive alcoholic. I've suffered with various mental health issues my whole life. I do understand that many symptoms of autism and mental illnesses are very similar, so it's not always easy to diagnose. Maybe if my GP had asked the right questions and/or I hadn't masked some of my 'quirks' I could have found out earlier. After spending my whole life try to be like everyone else, I can honestly say I don't give a sh*t anymore. I am who I am, and I do what makes me happy. In a way, I finally feel free xxx

ever since i started mentioning autism on job applications i have stopped getting responses to them. its that type of thing that makes me feel like i need to hide it.

Autistic people have to be careful not to come across as arseholes.

I really like your direct communication and relate to how you view things, you're the second male autistic creator that I've found recently that I relate to far more than the female ones, wondering what that says about me lol

I always find this interesting because non autistic people mask automatically. It's a part of being social. Depending on the group, you mirror what they do, hold back on subjects people don't seem interested in, try not to take up too much physical space by doing something distracting etc, so everyone can be comfortable.
It's only with close friends or family, people with the same habits and view points, do you relax and be authentic.
You see this a lot with video skits about couples who are dating three months vs three years. The masks come down and you're just comfortable with each other.
And this Can cause problems with non autistic people when it goes too far. For example the people pleaser. The person who constantly puts others wants and desires before their own.

So I wonder where the disconnect is. Why the masking is so difficult for autistic people. Do they feel it's a personal judgement rather than a society wide thing? Is it difficult because they don't know when to turn it off, or is it just the doing something that goes against your nature just super stressful cuz for autistic people there's no social reward for doing it. That it just ends up feeling like a lie and falsehood, rather than easing the way for everyone.

I had to start this video about 3 times to make it work. wondered if it was a joke for a second because it would start and then immediately go to the end. strange

I wish I could just be myself without being treated badly. Sadly, whenever I do things like arranging things in order or stimming, I am laughed at or told I am weird. I even had someone say I am mental and needed to get help. I just want to be myself and not feel broken...

Autistics can never 'mask' our fundamental physical ugliness and wrongness.

Just recently I posted in a group I'm in that I never really wanted to "fit in" , I just didn't want to be rejected. All this masking has made it unbearable for me to the point that I prefer not to socialize. Not because I'm afraid of rejection (anymore) but because it's exhausting trying to accomodate other people who wouldn't do the same for you. I don't want to spend my life doing that, to not be accepted anyway.

Imagine a world where neurotypical children needed therapy to learn how to socialize with neurodivergent children. A common ground of how NTs socialize vs NDs is what we need. Not the constant bombing that WE need to conform so the others don't feel uncomfortable.

I did that my whole adult life. I am now 69. I eventually just broke down for not beimg authentic. Now, I tell people that I am autistic. My kids do not take me seriously about this. It is still hard, but it is easier than masking. Jesus loves me as I am. And that is what is important. It is Him I please these days. 💕

Masking for me is….I put on my make up and I look pretty and nobody knows.

Great channel, thanks.

HR slapped. Lol ... Perhaps a topic for another video. 👍

Orion!!!! I just got diagnosed this past Tuesday (EST lol!!!!). Thank God I had been slowly unmasking for the last two years, or as much as possible. I'm excited and thrilled!!!!!

The thing is that for both of us, I discovered at age 57 that I was autistic, we never knew we were masking. Most of my deepest masking are behaviors I was forced to adopt to hide my weirdness, or be punished as a child.

Well said, could not have been explained any better.

Ah yes Orion...that process we go through where we're subconsciously expected to get to work and turn our Autism off 😠

Recently diagnosed and having issues explaining it to family/friends and gaining their acceptance. This will help them understand it better, thank you. 3 minutes shouldn't offend their too-short attention spans either - nice to see you accommodating the allistic community so well😂
I would be nice if they could return the favour...

I've been masking all my life without realizing it. Only since getting my diagnosis last year have I started to unmask. My son doesn't mask, he is unapologetically himself. I hope he deals with less trauma because of this difference. Great video Orion! ❤

so well explained thankyou

I actually Enjoy people who are authentic & expressive.
And I always made friends w. them !
> I find regimental anything to be boring.

The concept of masking is really what got me to consider myself as being on the spectrum. It explains why I hated myself, especially around other people. The more I study autism and discover my true self, the more convinced I am. If only it wasn’t so difficult to get assessed as an adult…

Orion, you’ve helped me understand quite a lot, and I appreciate what you do. Thank you very kindly!

Wonderfully put, Orion! Thank you for all the work you do on our behalf 🙏