Nine Signs of an Emotional Affair

Our pastor wont ride in a car with a woman other than his wife unless there is a third person because of this.

The guy worked with my wife, he would call the house and they would talk for hours right in front of me. She would go to his house, just the two of them alone. They would go out to eat. This went on for years until he finally moved away. I asked her about it tonight, asked if they ever kissed or held hands or if he made a move. She said none of that happened, and after 30 years of marriage I think I believe her. She had never heard of an emotional affair, she said yes, she is guilty. Feels like a stone in my gut. I thought for sure she was going to leave, I told her I almost stated looking for another girl because I thought she was a goner. I told her I stayed faithful through it all. I have been working on repairing our relationship for about a month now and yes we have 30 years of baggage we are working through. It sucks but we are getting closer than we ever have been. This month has been an intense roller coaster.

so.. in other words.. men and women shouldn't be friends because it will often end up becoming an emotional affair. Mainly because eventually, one or more of these 9 ways will eventually happen.

What if your partner says “men flirt”?! Like no biggie…😢

I met a seemingly great guy. He lied with a woman and her husband all saying that she was his biological sister and that their mother had an affair with another man so she has a different father., that they have some mother issues. This woman was very unhappily married. Very awkward brother and sister relationship, like damn near emotional incest. Met his mother about 10 months in, found out from her that she is actually his brother's ex, and his cousin's ex and she is a devil who should stay away. The thing is that they just didn't want to scare me off with the way they interact as "just close friends". Now I'm geeking on narcissistic recovery insights. Recovering trauma, considering ways to live better in time.

Can you do a video about a male and female friendships that would NOT be an emotional affair. My wife thinks I had an emotional affair with someone I never shared a personal thing with and never invited them anywhere. I ate lunch with this person twice by ourselves in the year I knew them and both times I NEVER invited them. Once I was was eating lunch by myself at a food court and 15 min before my lunch was over they saw me and sat during those times then another time I went to lunch again by myself and as I was headed that way they invited themselves and the moment we sat down I told her Hey did I ever tell you how I met my wife and I showed my wife’s picture because I adore her. We did maintain a friendship through chats but never did I feel I crossed any line or said anything I couldn’t say in front of my wife. When my wife and I talked about it and I showed her he chats she immediately went to Emotional Affair however the WORST thing I said in the chat was “there is beer in the kitchen” and she said “ I’ll fight you for it” and I said “no thanks. I’ll just let you win so take it”. The longer version of that story was that I told that girl I got beers because my wife and the kids were staying at a downtown room that I got. That’s it. That’s the WORST and now 2 years later she yells at me at least 75% of the month in and out about it. I’m so tired and burnt out. She wants me to confess to an Emotional Affair and I will NOT because I had no emotion or said anything that it’s suspect. I did joke BUT my personality with EVERYONE is that. Nevertheless for the sake of my love for my wife I immediately stopped talking to her and even got a new job. I’m at a wits end. There is a another significant part of this story I won’t bring in BUT it won’t help her it will actually make it look worse for her and for that part I’m 100% accountable for but my life is upside down and now I preach to other guys to never even have any friendship with any girl. I never even saw it coming like that and I regret taking to that girl even if I’m innocent- I feel shameful because my wife didn’t like it and I can understand that. This friendship never was extended out of work or behind with nobody knowing. I showed my wife anything and everything immediately. I’m close to getting a divorced. GUYS don’t even have even a lady work friend or even share your number with them EVER. It’s bad enough marriages are being attacked

I can relate to some aspects of this video and agree with the importance of having opposite-sex friends. However, my personal experience has been challenging, as my partner maintains close relationships with six of their exes. One of them, in particular, communicates with my partner extensively, including daily 7-hour chats, and with another ex, they converse every other day. This situation has taken a toll on my mental health, as I found their interactions uncomfortable and concerning, especially when the nature of their conversations appeared to go beyond what I would consider a normal friendship. My partner, on the other hand, insists that it's entirely normal to maintain these relationships and regularly meet and talk to their exes. It has left me wondering how to navigate this situation. Can anyone relate?

Maybe you can help me get my head ROUND the emotional affair my husband the year before he died. We were in in our early 70s but I had some health issues, and my husband was finding it difficult to take care of our home, so we decided to sell it and move into an apartment building. It was a small new building so we ended making friends with all of our neighbors. We were so happy, and we now had money from the sale of our house to be able to travel. Life was very good and we were probably the happiest we had been in years. Then a single women about ten years younger than us moved in, her husband had died 4 years ago. She kept telling me that my husband reminded her of him. My husband and her were the only two people in the building who smoked, so they would go outside together and sit in the gazebo at the back of the building. He started going out more and more often for a smoke. One night he was outside for nearly an hour. I finally went outside and they were sitting in the dark in the gazebo. My husband and I would go and sit in the gazebo every day, she would come out and flirt with him. She wouldn’t sit down, but would stand opposite him and wear very tight revealing clothing. She seemed to know it bothered me and would do it even more. My husband became sick and was given three months to live with lung cancer. My life was so stressful. I have fibromyalgia and I was dealing with constant chronic pain and taking him to never ending hospital and doctor visits. In the meantime, she would come knocking at my door. I would tell her that he was resting in his chair and one day she pushed right past me and went and kissed him fully on the lips. I was speechless. Meanwhile my husband kept telling me that it was all in my head and he really liked her as a friend. Even though he was in his seventies, he was a very good looking man and in good physical shape. He knew it made me angry when he spent so much time talking with her but he did it anyway. The last six months of his life were absolute hell for me. We had been married for over fifty years. I had never had that gut feeling before, but I just knew something was going on between them. She was always trying to get him to go her apartment. One day she told him she needed help with a tap, so he told me he was going to fix it. I went with him. She said what are you doing here? She had a beer opened waiting for him. She wasn’t happy that I was there. It is three years since he passed, but I still can’t get over it. I felt totally betrayed and so disrespected by him. When I was taking care of his every need he was treating me so badly. All the good times we had together have all been wiped out by the last year. I realize that he was probably quite sick for a long time before he was diagnosed and having a younger woman pay so much attention to him must have been very flattering, but he hurt me so very much, I just can’t get past it. She moved out of our building shortly after he died and went to live in the US. (I live in Canada). She would call me on his birthday and the anniversary each year of when he died. She called me her friend!! I finally wrote her a letter telling her how I felt and for her not to contact me again.
Is there anything I can do to get over this. I am trying desperately to get on with my life. I had a heart attack a year after he passed ,(I think from all the stress I was under) thank you for listening. So sorry for babbling on!!!!! Great video by the way.

You are absolutely superb. Your analysis, your brilliant in-depth articulation: are simply amazing....

If you find yourself hiding a communication with someone from your spouse then you have no business talking to that person in such manner. My closest friend is male. We have been friends since we were in preschool or first grade? A long time. We always put the speaker on when we talk when my husband is around. I also make a rule to never share anything about my spouse or marriage to anyone.

they always say "we are just good friends" and they just met.

My husband cheated on me by always communicating with his co wroker reason is just for work follow up but he hides his phone see all their messages exchanging words of affection.. He blamed me and physically hurt me and emotionally intended to hurt me more.. And till now he is protecting his mistress....

How about your wife wanting to spend three weeks on holiday with her “very good (female) friend” during the year, meaning that I will have to spend a similar amount of time holidaying by myself - but according to her she is not having an affair…..if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck

My husband had an emotional affair 8 years ago that lasted 9 months, as well as his addiction to porn, masturbation, flirting, ....
The night I found out was sincerely the worst day of my life, and I drove to the country to kill myself.
The thought of him getting away with this relationship and my kids never knowing why their mom would take her life is what stopped me.
I forgave him, and for the following 3 years we became very close.
Sadly we did not get help, and he so desperately needed it.
Then I found out he was once again fooling around online 3 years ago.
I caught him. Again.
No confession. No shame. No guilt.
He moved out of our bedroom, confessed to our children and members of our church, and after working through a lot with a pathetic counselor.
I thought, stupidly, that his behavior was finally done and now we could heal.
Fast forward to now.
I'm 99% sure he's having an emotional affair with a woman from work. He thinks because he hasn't bought porn in a year that we're good, but I know he knows he's lying to himself.
He constantly lies to me, withholds compliments, will not take spiritual leadership, is paranoid of me going to his workplace...
And he still watches inappropriate stuff online, it's just not 'porn', and he is still addicted to masturbation.
I want to die.
I hate it, and although I pray for him constantly, I can't see how we can heal and move forward.
Our kids will be devastated.
This is not the life I've so desperately prayed for and worked for.
I can't do it anymore

Interesting point if they are sharing time doing things like walking together alone that qualifies as cheating. Finding what might look harmless but it’s not harmless. Pointing out how great they see the other person when they don’t live with them. Everyone can put on a show at work or in small time frames. Live with them day to day and they aren’t “nice” like you say. It’s a mask like makeup 💄

This is saying men can only be friends with men and visa versa. you can't expect your emotional and social needs to be met by only one person! All women have social affairs with other women. I commute by train. and i hear women talking. they trash talk their partner, they bound over sexual desires with gossip magazines they devour filled with pictures of beautiful women. they groom each other, Huck kiss, they are way more intimate with each other then their spouses. It is lesbo spank inferno out there and this is not cheating?

Yes texting other women and getting angry at me when I point it out,, he feels like he is justified in doing it

Great video, thank you 🙏

How do you get your spouse/ husband to admit this emotional affair is happening? I can see it plainly but he only denies it and gets very defensive when I have said anything to him. :(

Thank You!

Going through this right now my partner has been secretly playing online with a girl she calls him cutie vice versa and then calls me paranoid

Thank you! This video helped me tremendously in understanding what I was going through. I also asked my husband to listen to it and even though at first he said he was thrown by the term “emotional affair” he said he couldn’t deny that it was spot on. This has been a useful tool in encouraging more honest conversations between us. More healing to go, but this has definitely helped.

My husband often told women untrue things about me. I'm guessing so they would feel sorry for him. Poor guy has a horrible wife who made him have sex with her 3 times in one weekend. I asked him why he would discuss with another woman untrue things in such a personal nature. He didn't have an answer.

My husband continues to have theses affairs. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. I’m at my limit.

I saw all this signs but refuse to believe but my gut was always alerting me we are currently getting divorce not before the backlash from my lawyers because before she abandon her home she didn't take in calculation the ripple effect it was gonna create in my and her life.

I like ur videos but I feel so much anger towards him pig 🐷

It’s too bad I cannot post a video of my girlfriend flirting with my neighbor on this post

Some people are too weak to get a divorce when needed. They married people with no spark because they are afraid to be alone. They are with someone they never should have been.

On complete accident i found the texts. My husband and a woman I didn’t know sharing day to day events and ending with - i love you- meanwhile my husband had been hypercritical of everything i did, how i talked on the phone, remarking on a bad song on an add. The kicker cane though when i saved a seat for our kids concert and he never showed, a week later as his buddy and him drank and talked I realized he had went with her to the hospital because her daughter tried committing suicide. Later i found the text. I know women as he knows men- she was onto him- i do not think anything physical had yet happened but it was only time. It took him a month to finally admit it was wrong. Fast forward 2 yrs, he had cut her out, his brother died and she found me on fb. She told me to give him hugs and how she thought of our family. Well then he got a fb and then he liked a breasty pic of her but had liked nothing on my page as we struggled through the death of his brother. It all blew up again, why is she on your fb if it almost ruined our marriage. Because nothing happened- and i was to blame. Me and my ideas.. a year later now she still comes up. Not by me, him, he suddenly will bring up being angry that i ever would think he could do that. I am over it. The more it comes up the more i only confirm that i was on to something. I no longer care. She isn’t the wife and mother of his kids and personally she is nothing. I just in my heart wish he could admit, what he did was wrong. We all F up and i told him this, until we admit and stop blaming another( me) we cannot make progress. Again i am over it, he wants her have her- she will never be me, and i know this.

My wife had one I feel….it didn’t get far because I found it but I need help dealing with just texting not calling or even meeting up AP lives in a different country

My husband had a emotional affair that was turning physical.

1) Intimacy avoidance 2) Seeking approval and validation 3) Pimping tenderness 4) Relational lethargy 5) Objectification - only seeing the negative aspects of your spouse to justify your behavior and seeing emotional affair partner as greater than your spouse magnify their great points 6) minimization 7) self deception that you are great as your emotional affair partner thinks, would have been better if I had married them, they see us as great our partner doesn'interests

I knew I wasn’t crazy by the feeling of doom and craziness in my head..

I’m about to watch and listen and I’m afraid because I already KNOW.

You gotta be sure

you are so right

What if they never express any romantic interest and that makes them say they truly are just friends?

I just discover my wife is having an emotional affair, her behavior checks out all nine point.

this is all so obvious to me, I hated women that did this type of stuff even before I knew that "emotional infidelity" even existed in science..

if my girl is talking with everyone else about our small disputes chances are they end up being bigger problems. if she is seeking conversation about our problems with a man THAT DEFINITELY LIKES HER (which is the case 75% of the time if a man is spending excess time out of his life for a woman he isn't with)

My husband had an emotional affair with a lady from church. He ended it and she called me and told me. He says it was nothing but I keep finding out things that prove otherwise. I will never trust him again

My husband had an affair with w friend from the bar. I used to argue with him about my dad saying not to be friends with women and turns out everything my dad says is right.
I let him live like he was single I’ll be broken for the rest of my life.

Hi Wayne. We are 7 months post D day and have each completed the HH and HFH. We have had our share ebbs and flows through the recovery. My unfaithful refuses to acknowledge that he had an emotional and sexual affair with his AP to this day. I feel because of that and coupled with statements that he made about her, that there may still be an emotional connection on his part. He has not had any contact (I am trusting him at his word) with his AP. He says he doesn’t need to detox and she was just a willing person to have sec with. Should a therapist who says they specialize in infidelity counseling be able to identify whether my unfaithful spouse is still emotionally holding on?

Someone had brought up the term "emotional affair" to me recently. I never heard of it before. They think a co worker and I are having one. We both explained that we're just friends but apparently they think something is going on. We usually talk about our families and partners

My husband told me his emotional affair partner was his “cousin”! And told me to be friends with her on FB because she wanted to see pics of our family! And then I found out he had a secret hidden second phone! They sent over 200 messages to each other in a two month period! We live in Vegas this so called cousin was in Mexico. It’s been a year exactly since I found out. I still want to rip his head off. I don’t know what to do.

Wow!!!🎯 my husband...💔
🙏🏻💔➡️❤️💖

This makes so much sense.

Spot on ! My husband and his “friend” are stupid!

Thank you!

An emotional affair is if you are communicating to somebody OTHER than your partner something you would not say or express IN FRONT of your partner.

My wife pretty much didn't miss a best in her relationship with our children after she admitted to her 2-year emotional affair with their married church youth pastor. And 5 years later she still has strong relationships with all 3 of our kids.
I took it harder and still am trying to reconnect 5 years later as she has put in a million times more effort in reconciling with our kids and her friends than she ever has with me.