8 WAYS to get UNDER THE SKIN of a grandiose narcissist

Strange, they don't seem to have a problem treating you this way, but when the tables are turned......

I think authenticity is the antidote to narcissism

Your first statement. Who wouldnt be upset at someones Oh, ok response when speaking deeply about something?. LMFAO. You people are bots. Divorced. INstantaneously. a Good resposne from someone who cares is "Nice, that sounds like a really good idea, I think that could work you and us"....You psychologists are herding people in and out of relationships and labeling people things that they actually arent. LOL

Trying to concentrate but the way your shaking those Mellon's is getting me turned on. Damn Dr. Ramani is smoking hot.

how about: using the abilities of others to make them feel like agents. So taking the credit for someone else's work.
Just the presentation alone that knowing someone with a talent gives them the feeling that they are indispensable in your life or make themselves interesting.
once a friend's daughter worked as a veterinary assistant and she just says, if you need advice or medication for your cat, I know someone who can arrange it for you cheaply. So I asked for advice about diabetes, something only a real vet would know the answer to, and whether I could get insulin cheaper, just to catch her on her own bluff. She cleared her throat repeatedly only because she didn't know what to say, of course I never got any answers.
same with a friend of a friend who fixed her tv. She: if your TV is broken, I know someone who knows everything about it. I had problems with my TV and wrote a full explanation of the problems and emailed it to her. Of course I never heard anything about it again. She's probably doing the same to you, offering your services to strangers she just knows or even to random people who are willing to listen to her just for the sake of an interesting topic. I once thought it was strange that she ran into someone in town who seemed to know that I drove a truck trailer professionally. Maybe I have been on offer many times as a mover ??!!!!!!!
so they are not always envious of something that someone else can do better or be more special at. Everything can be used for that one moment in the spotlight.
Also another example. I had plans to donate a giant cat scratching furniture to a shelter for AIDS cats. But she called me and she had found something better, her favorite pub might want to open a cat cafe. They could use it better. I say I don't want it to be used for commercial purposes. And I could already hear from her voice that she had gotten herself into trouble and had already promised this scratching furniture. I'm sure she put me in a bad light to get out of her promise.

Even if I was a narcissist you don’t endanger the life of a SA victim. Regardless of who they are. Are you kidding me?

When you don't give them supply?

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Yes Dr Ramani 💕they need validation and praise always! It’s exhausting and it’s better to think before I say anything! 💕❤️❤️❤️

Shame .

Give them a justifiable order such as, "Tone it down!" after they have just tried to be intimidating towards you.

Whatever .or threaten to take away there playground has worked for me

Thank you for the advice I can use in my life
I am tired of those so called narcissists that cause havoc in my life
I'm tired of being pushed around and need proper friends's I can trust

💔💔❤️‍🩹

Exposing them

I'm the Scapegoat in my narc family.
Color me as the ESCAPED Goat, Glory be to GOD!

Another way to easily get under their skin is when you try and hold them to the same standard of behave that they expect of you. Damn those gaslights get lit so fast

Alot of these techniques are street smarts and they all work 👍🏾. When I was enlisting in the Navy I was going for a SO contract and my pst scores didn't increase at the pace they wanted so I didn't get a contract and had to go in as a Corpsman, but was told that I could try to go for SO later in my career when my year group is open or I can ask about a program in corps school called SOCP and when I was on the plane to go to basic training I had the same shipping date as the SPEC WAR candidates but I wasn't going to 800 division. All 3 of them were soo grandiose 🤣 (2 rescue swimmers & 1 diver) and all they talked about was how tough they were for going to 800 division in basic and they will be in the same division as buds prep students which is false😂, but I felt no need to correct them. They would constantly try to impress me with how hard basic is gonna be for them but I could care less because what I was going for had harder pst standards and higher drop out rate. When they saw there bragging didn't work they got really disrespectful saying that I'm taking it the easy way and they were tough guys, a former marine asked everyone what their rate was and everyone sad rescue and diver with confidence but as soon as I said Corpsman he only wanted to talk to me for a long time and he told me to "never forget my shipping date (March 10th 2015) because it is a big chapter in my life" he was infantry 0311 I think is what he said and he only looked at me as if the other 3 dudes didn't exist and he said all marines need a Corpsman and the other dudes looked soo confused because they got no validation from a OG veteran. There's more that happened that day but I thought the marine talking to me and not being impressed by a diver and rescue swimmers was the biggest flex over grandiose men 🤣💯 🇺🇲

This was my cousin at MY baby shower, stole the spotlight so to say going on about how nauseous she was and took MY seat by the gift table talking about her baby

Being happy and have confidence in you're self. Number 1 thing narcississists hate

They make people's lives hell. But not for long as everyone sees through them and dumps them eventually. Truly awful ppl.

Eeek! I don't agree with any of this. Every suggestion is enough to risk a nuclear meltdown in most narcissists (even physical violence in some)

Best approach when you can't escape them, is to use the 'grey rock' method, and remove yourself from the sitation.
Limit time in their company for your emotional safety, and never get into the game. IT WILL ALWAYS BACKFIRE ON YOU.

Pointing out facts that are true. Really true and can be proven 💯. The narc still rages and says that of an opinion 🤔 🤷 WTF.

Being the center of attention. Yeah, my dad didn't like that. He got up to speak about me and all he could say was that when I was born a premi baby, he snuck out of work to go to the hospital to feed me and hold me. That was it. Nothing else. I'm 42 and he had nothing else to say about me! My SIL blew him outta the water with a page long speech about all the things she loves about me! ❤❤❤❤❤

I'm sure he felt envious of my independence and me being able to solo travel regularly.

Once he told me that I don't care about my family because I choose to travel loads instead of visiting them

What is a good reaction to the rage and onslaught in the moment?

You can really get under the skin of any narcissist grandiose or covert when they see a circle of loving and caring people around you, whom you really love and trust. They lose their mind if you have any successful relationship with any other human. That’s why they try to cut your relationships with everyone

You nailed it again!

I had a former roommate that was both a narcisist and had bipolar. And he would turn grandiose along the same lines every single time he had a manic episode. He was always a little grandiose but he was most open with it when he was manic. And the one thing I did that annoyed the shit out of him is that I tend to be very stoic in the presence of someone I view as toxic or psychologically volitile. I tend to be very stoic in general until something catches my attention and the attention of my aspie obsessiveness. But if that spark doesn't happen, I tend to be a brick wall. You talk about grey rocking while I talk about the unstoppable force and immovable object, specifically comparing my expressions to a brick wall.

He would keep trying to get me to go into business with him. And I always viewed his business ideas as either too risky or him as being irrisponsible enough. Like for example, he wanted me to cosign on an 8k line of credit for a bitcoin miner. I wasn't going to do it. Especially after I learned that I'd be on the hook if he defaulted on it. He wanted to make moonshine or grow psychodelic mushrooms or build a solar power farm. (He was paying off land for a homestead is why he wanted that last one.) And when I wanted nothing to do with it he called it wasted potential and got annoyed at me. Meanwhile I didn't trust him with money from the very start. I stipulated a 50/50 split for expenses and rigidly insisted he stick to it even after he tried to nitpick and say I used more electricity than him or wanted to go without getting heating (IN A NEW ENGLAND WINTER NO LESS, HOLY FUCK WAI!?) Meanwhile he had the naturally warmest room in the apartment and I had the coldest, but never mind that he was just fine without heat he didn't know what I was talking about.

I told him "its illegal to be without heat and the gas company is going to be watching us wanting to know why there's someone living here who doesn't have their heat on." Which is true. When I turned my thermostat off one summer they wrote my apartment asking if I was still living here.

Regardless, if you're a very stoic person, don't room with a grandiose narcisist, or any narcisist. They will drive you up a rope NORMALLY but if you're a non reactive stoic they're like "What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Me, an autistic person still trying to learn social niceties in middle-age: “oh, that’s a good idea.” easily does it as an honest show of support, crediting the narcissist for it

A narcissist: “HOW DARE YOU” seethes at me; somehow I get a talking to from an authority figure

I can’t tell you how many times in my life, especially in customer service work, I got disciplined, spoken down to, and hated on by what I now recognize was not only narcissists taking advantage of me, but my own attempts to stand my ground backfiring because I was raised by a narcissist and was repeating those poor behaviors. I’m so grateful to my therapist for pointing me in your direction because I’m understanding more and more how I inadvertently “upset” people and learning how to avoid these pitfalls and improve my own behavior FOR MY OWN PROTECTION. It’s working wonders

Ignore them like they don't exist - it drives them crazy trying to get you to acknowledge their passive aggressive behaviour.

He/she becomes enraged when you didn’t reach out to him/her when something awful happened to him/her, even though you did but he/she was dismissive and there is no arguing your reason and you get cut off (which was a blessing in disguise).

Or when you hang up on them when they’re berating you over the phone and then leave super nasty messages when you ignore their calls and let it go to voicemail because you don’t want to listen to their abuse.

Or when you share your most memorable relationship with a race they despise.

Funny I think the first four are also something that both grandiose and covert narcissists will use against you to devalue you…the difference though and the check ( that you aren’t also narcissistic ) is that you not being a narcissist won’t feel angry but will expect these forms of invalidation , non support and even emotional neglect . It won’t feel good , just familiar given that you have have a history of exposure to narcissistic abuse with this person and in many cases with others such as primary caregivers. One defense mechanism commonly implored to protect your self from an attack on self esteem is to not take yourself or the situation so seriously when the narcissist is poking fun ,or diminishing something you want to share with them that you are truly excited about…however in doing that you are also internalizing what they had intended to do in the first place which is to devalue you and make you feel small and insignificant…because they themselves feel small and insignificant…or at least I’ve been told.

The title of the video is really counterproductive. I would not want to go out of my way to get under anyone's skin let alone a narcissicist. There should be a healthy way to approach this.

Proving them wrong 🤣

Telling them that you left the country and stayed away for almost 20 years until you hoped that they would become human. When asked why you came back, that you had to concede it was never going to happen. Can I avoid this person no she is my daughter. Now my grandchildren are used as a weapon.

One of the most biggest things that gets under their skin is PRAISING OTHERS !

Thank you Doctor. I pay for it when we are alone. The pouting and slamming doors is so loud.

When I saw the title of this segment, the first thought that popped in my head was:”why should we do that? Dr R always said- don’t confront them” and she just repeated it in this segment. She is so wonderful!!
Thanks Dr Ramani

1) Unintentionally yawning in the middle of what was supposed to be a riveting story. KA-BOOM!

2) Me fluent in French and learning how to speak Dutch. Speaking with native language speakers in French and a little bit of Dutch, I get accused of keeping secrets or talking about him.

My warning to all of you, never I mean never, even jokingly say, "Not everything is about you."

I knew my twin brother was a Narcissist when his friends didn’t know he had a twin sister at OUR bday party. His friends brought gifts and bday cards - he wanted me to feel left out for sure

My twin demanded my welcome back party from my 2nd deployment in Iraq should be for him when he deployed once and i deployed 3 times.

I threw us a bday party last year, i bought him 3 gifts, and he tells me he forgot to get me something so cashapp me instead. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I broke up with an ex like 10 years ago and I kid you not to this day he still pays people to ride by our property and a smear campaign where I work.. what level of narcissist is that? Sounds like a more severe case than any I've heard you talk about so far..

Try to critize them and they'll blow into your face. The audacity. How dare you pointing at something they missed or did wrong.

Sadly, I'm in a new work environment where I found out the hard way today that my boss is a vulnerable narcissist. Might lose my new job now.
I try to convince myself it's for the better.

The narcissist is very blasé.

In my experience the most effective way to step out of the entanglement with a narcissist is to stop playing their game.

Narcs despise being outrank, one upped , found out that they made a mistake or have character flaws. Narcs can never tolerate being corrected , reprimanded, rebuked & given coaching . They believe they know everything & no one can surpass their skills & " wisdom".

is it possible to be a covert and grandiose at the same time? the example of "i have the bestest idea ever and you should do it too" and our reacting with neutrality. and this neutral or even "no that is definitely not a good idea" then triggers their response of "i can't believe you don't think it's the bestest idea ever" and sometimes their outright anger/rage, which leads to "well you've shot down my dreams - again" so i'll just sit here like a bump on a log. no lie; this is how interactions with narc sister actually play out.

I left him almost 3 months ago. How can I get him out of my mind. I hate thinking of him 24/7. It's like a curse. I don't want to be with him but is he still on my mind ? Go out toxic !

Thank you. I have dealt with more then 1 Narcissists. It took a few therapists to open my eyes to many different gaslighting techniques as well as what a sexual narcissist is and a person who is a alcoholic who is a narcissist. 2 weeks of no talking for no reason in the same home. Another was name calling and abuse. Walking on eggshells is not a good feeling to a heyoki empath. Thank you for sharing.