What To Do If Your Husband is Addicted To Porn #MarriedToATherapist

Over the last 10 months, I have gradually learned that my husband not only had an affair during our 30-year marriage, but has been addicted to porn for 25 years (sometimes to an extreme degree) and has repeatedly cheated on me with prostitutes.
He is now in psychotherapy and a 12-step group and is doing everything to ensure that I can trust him again and that I will eventually feel better again.
He is firmly by my side and always there for me.
I'm feeling very bad, I think it's PTSD. It's only been 8 weeks since the last revelations and most days I feel like I'm dying inside.
I can't even feel that we had many good and happy times together anymore, it feels like it was all a lie or as if other people experienced these things, not us.
Unfortunately, in my country this type of trauma is not recognized as trauma at all, and my search for a suitable therapist was fruitless.
So thank you very much for videos like these, they are my only help.

Why is this vulnerability like turning me on 😂I feel so safe lol

The causes of this issue are not all the same. Sometimes, it IS about the partner.

All true. Be open. it can be helpful .. like after a vasectomy to clear out the swimmers lol.

We need more voices like this

I’m just open early in relationship that I like porn and it’s no threat or substitute to you and I will keep it discrete .
Tell them early and you get the green light

How does one with a low sex drive also have a porn addiction?

Sorry

You guys are great❤

Wow you are a really inspiration,thank you for being so truthful this is very helpful also I love you both, thank you again ❤🎉😊

How much P is considered addiction though? What if my husband does it and I don't care? I'm not as active as he is so him going by himself is fine for me, and he's fine w/ the amount we are together. Why does P have to be bad?

I left my ex-husband because he had a secret homo sex toy and tranny porn. He had been looking online into tranny sex parties. He told me I was prude. I tried to talk to therapists with him but they didn’t resonate with me, either saying I was homophobic or just accept it. Later my ex said he consumed porn daily. Years later I find videos like this and realize he had an addiction that he didn’t want to face. Thank you guys for sharing, it helps me retrospectively understand what happened a bit more 🙏

Guys, the link healing from infidelity doesn't work. 😢 Could you pls check it? ❤

Thank you for this video. Thank you both for your vulnerability. I know it was difficult to do and post, but this video is helping and going to help countless people. It helped me see my husband as a hurting person, not a bad person.

I cried 😢😢 alot in this video and how seeked helping him not punishing him 🥺🥺.

The people I admire most in life are those few people who have the absolute BALLS to be vulnerable and open to others with their worst life screw ups.

Men that are addicted to porn are sick f****! You don't realize how harmful it is to your wife!! It causes real damage!

I have had 2 girl friends that learned to have sex from watching porn. The sex was amazing but at the same time it didn't feel real. How do you bring this up in a relationship and how do you essentially do a hard reset on someones sexual knowledge. Am I being closed minded and this was actually what these girls wanted? Were they just doing it to make me happy? I was quite a bit older then both of these girls so I was raised and learned to have sex with partners before I started watching porn so I from my perspective porn was not real. Is this a me problem or a them problem. I suspect both of these girls watched a significant amount of porn before there first sexual experience and their first partners watched a lot of porn before there first sexual experience as well which reinforced these ideas.

If your spouse is struggling with cheating on you they don’t love you. If they did they would not WANT to cheat. Period, end of story. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t love you enough to be decent person and honor you. Best to just avoid those so depraved that they choose to look at little girls being abused.

I applaud you both for giving a positive example for how to approach this subject as a team. As a woman who has struggled with how to approach this with my partners in the past, I am impressed and inspired by Alicia’s attitude. She is supportive and kind, giving Jonathan the space to be open with her. She doesn’t let insecurities and hurt get the best of her. That is something that we need more examples of as women. Great job to both of you! And also it’s a good reminder to me as a woman that it has nothing to do with the beauty of the spouse, because Alicia is clearly gorgeous.

the link for "Healing from infidelity masterclass" error can i view it?

You might consider watching the movie: Pleasure 2021

I don't need porn. I have Jono's shirtless thumbnails for that.

Omg I love you guys so much 💛💛 i wish i had a marriage like this :/

Thank you very much for the guts and candour to do this.

Amen 🙏 God bless you both

I just want to say my opinion.

Anyway its normal. Im a girl who addicted to porn.
But here is the thing.. it gets weird and weirder then i figure out why..turn out my finding is brain are being hacked. We human actually need 5 senses. So if its only eyes brain.. its hack. Brain eventually will found out and you will need more elaborate tricks thats why it become weird and weirder.

No agree on the hating my body. Not agree on most use it coping.. porn actually good entertainment. Its sometimes educational and imagination also good. Sometimes the actress is so pretty and setting is nice. I dont really see porn as bad. But its best when you have partner. Watch together

If there hasn’t been a video already, and to tack onto this conversation…it would be so nice to put the conversation to rest on ‘what counts as infidelity?’ and how that spectrum is different for each person. Because it’s super hurtful I think as a gen z person seeing couples fight over what counts and it’s usually men who say that ‘p-rn’ doesn’t count when it does for some partners and then the problem just never gets resolved. A video on how to talk about core values like these I think would help. I just want people to be able to learn how to meet in the middle when it comes to experimenting with s-x and for people’s bodies not to be judged in process. Especially women, because i grew up with the stereotype that we’re prudes I guess so to speak or too naive or innocent to understand why mainly men are into this but at least in my opinion/ experience I/we just don’t want to compared to the fake women on screen. And I imagine men wouldn’t want to feel that comparison either. Open discussions about core values and how to empathise with either partner is what I think is so needed, like I think experimentation is great, especially if couples go and experiment together with professionals who know how to teach s-ex, scenarios, role play, etc. we need more resources like that. I hated getting hurt that way same as you guys because it became abusive and destructive and I don’t want anyone else to either. be gentle and try understand to each other. If anyone else is or was in the same boat, here to talk 🖤🤍💜 & 🩷💛🩵 happy pride month! And thanks for this video xoxo

just wow

my god this one of the best things ive seen of this topic...really helped my wife and me

What a beta... nothing wrong with porn. So repressed sexually best embrace your natural desires.

The problem with low self-worth and love for me is: I can't be with someone who loves what I hate.

Hello. Your Healing from Infidelity Master Class is showing "not found" when I follow the link or when I search your website. Is there anywhere else I can go to see that? Thank you!

😢 This week I found out my husband's porn additction. He has 6 Facebook accts, 3 tiktok accts and 3 Instagram accts mostly with PORN. Help. I am dying. It hurts. Someone please give me words of advice. Please.

I really respect both of you. Thank you for this explanation.

Came to this video fresh from the one where Johnathan came out as demi. So inspirational. You guys are helping so many people! Thank you so much!

Straight couples' problems

I watch lot of it and my wife knows since day 1. never had been an issue. and, tbh, i really don't see a problem there. especially for the people with different libido levels. the best way is to do what you want if it's not destructive to yourself or others. as my psyhologys said if its free and its fun - do it. :))

Amazing content! ❤ So well balanced between information and warmth. Incredebly brave to talk about this so openly.
I respect you so much Jonathan! ❤❤❤

Such a beautiful conversation ❤

The thumbnail has me dead

I want to be a good person. Quit anything sexual and everything evil

i’m sorry but i can’t help but judge someone who does this it’s just so nasty to me

glad to hear people talking about this openly

Thank you for sharing this, so open and honest, I'll be sharing this with my man.

I don't particularly like pornography, but I consume it. I wish I didn't, and I've tried to cut myself off from it, but eventually I keep going back. For me, it's the fact that I've never been in a relationship. I'm in my early 30's now, and despite almost two decades of trying I've yet to find a partner that wants to choose me. And that's really hurtful and difficult for me to deal with. I have to spend a lot of time on my own with nothing to distract myself from my loneliness and lack of intimacy. And the unfortunate reality is that porn fills that gap. It's as healthy as junk food to a starving person, I know. But at the moment it's better than nothing. It's like, I also believe stealing is wrong. But if I'm starving and stealing is my only opportunity to get food to eat, then it's a lot harder to take the moral high ground.

Ok, i repect the video and this topic. But that thumbnail tho! 😂😅

No one should be using porn.

This is the most beneficial video I have ever watched on this topic. You delivered with such honesty, grace, and I appreciate how you attacked it in a clinical way, as well as from a more emotional perspective. I have so much respect for you both.♥️