8 Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style

What's the solution 😞

2 Psych2Go vids in one day, thank you for helping me years later 💜

crying

Been surrounded by mostly Avoidants my entire life age 60. My emotionally/physically abusive parent was one, my spouse is one just like the person whom raised me--and it's been tormenting. Think sometimes that Avoidants create Anxious attachment in other people. When an Avoidant emotionally & physically abusive mother treats their child like they don't matter---among other damages it causes insecurity. Spouse (Avoidant) does the same thing that your parent did--same feelings. When your Avoidant parent and your Avoidant spouse both are NOT trustworthy people--you will have trust issues. When the people whom you depend on in relation to you to meet your emotional needs and yet they are deliberately starving you to death emotionally--one may become clingy hoping the starvation will CEASE. Emotional needs are not pathological. Most normal human beings HAVE emotional needs and it is NOT unreasonable nor pathological to look to those close to us to meet that need. Why be in a marriage and NOT meet the other person's need? I never heard of all of this "attachment" stuff until a couple years ago. Had NO idea that the core people in my life were Avoidants. Now I understand why my life is and was, the way it is and was.

Yeah the worst part about this is feeling like you’re in a total spinout where you can’t trust even your very own thoughts, feelings, or instincts. When you become so overwhelmed by anxiety and stress that you literally don’t know what to believe other than you know something is wrong but you can’t put your finger on it. Even worse is when it becomes so bad to the point that it effects you physiologically and you start to get sick then you don’t know whether you’re anxious or you’re literally physically unwell. Turns into an actual manufactured hell.

Remember peeps
Just because we are this way doesn't mean we have to ALWAYS be this way
Healing is possible
keep fighting
keep loving

I related to every point... And it sucks to be in that position...... like this is how we are Designed... always scared of the person leaving us one day. Like because i am not good in academics, not rich as much as him, not good in anything..i feel he will surely left. And always constant fear if they are bored out of me. Overthinking zone...

This anxious attachment style is making me more socially anxious. Everyday, I fear that people are constantly judging me whenever they're judging me, I hate when people look at me, the worst part of it is when I ask why they're looking at me and reply with "Why can't I look at you? I'm also a human being just like you". Today, in PE class, I locked myself inside the bathroom and stayed there to contemplate about my life (the teacher literally doesn't care). After a couple minutes, I heard people talking from outside and I knew who were those people, they were my friends (at this point I'm not even sure if they're even my friends)... they came to visit me... one of them (the one that knows most of my problems) knocked on the door, she opened it but I closed it instantly (the door is broken and it can't close properly), she asked why I was there and isolating myself... she said those words with an annoyed tone... those words hurt me so much that I began becoming even more terrified, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't overly anxious, I was truly terrified of her... I was shaking, my hands where sweating more than usual (they are always sweaty because I'm constantly anxious), I was feeling cold when I literally felt like it was too hot a minute ago, my stomach started to hurt, I could feel my heart beating and I was breathing faster than usual... later, she said "ok, we're leaving", I knew that she was lying, I could hear and feel everything... I opened the door to see what would happen... of course... she ran towards the door, but I quickly closed it before she could see me... I was even more terrified, but I left and with the intentions to talk about it, before talking about it, I asked for a hug and she gave me the one where it's usually used to comfort people... after that, I see the part that broke my heart... I don't understand why people do this... they say they want to know my problems, but when I start telling them, they don't care, they can't hear me, they LEAVE... this is why I don't trust people more than I did before... it hurts my soul and breaks my heart seeing people do this... this is why I socially isolate myself... I can't trust anyone, if I do, they will betray me...

Ok but
What can i do now?

Yes, it's the worst

So that means i’m cooked?

I have anxious attachment style. To my parents to my friends. I have fear they'll will abandon me😢

Strange. I relate to all of the internal stuff, but I cope with it by detaching rather than clinging, becoming overly self-reliant as opposed to excessively relying on friends or partners. Like the video said, intimacy feels odd and artificial at best and terrifying at worst, so avoiding it is the safest/least emotionally taxing option, even if you don't want to.

Your videos helped me realise, this deeply affects me.
Realised at 40 years old.

oof sounds like my ex who sexually and psychologically abused me.

This attachment style gave me really hard time cause it's really hard to maintain a good relationship. Please someone tell me if there anyway to get secure attachment style

What if I have all of them 🤦🏽‍♀️

Yeah my Partner has this attachment style. Really exhausting

A lot of these point sound like my ex girlfriend. She had an extremely hard childhood with growing up in poverty and having 2 older siblings who both have disabilities where they can’t take care of themselves. She always needed reassurance and my presence which I was always happy to give because I love her. I think one of the main reasons we didn’t work out in the end was because we’ve been long distance for most of our relationship(2.5 years). We started going out in undergrad but then a few months later I moved across the country for grad school while she still had 2 years of undergrad left. She was well aware that we would be separated for a while but we really wanted it to work so we stayed together.

This past week I think she finally couldn’t handle herself, our distance, and my being constantly busy anymore(to be honest, I’m a bit of a workaholic). There were definitely other thing things at play which I feel I should’ve done better at or been more attentive to, but in the end I wish I knew how exactly we could have made this work.

We broke up last week and I know we both still love and deeply deeply care for each other but, when someone has difficult past on top of being in a long distance relationship for 2.5 years I wish I knew what I could have done to help more. I know we both have things to work on it just breaks me that this has to be the outcome.

The really shitty thing is, she also just got into grad school and was going to move within a reasonable distance to where I could visit fairly often. I was even planning on moving in with her after I graduated next spring.

But I know she needed my physical presence now and not in a year. I just wish I knew how I could have been there for her more before things ended up like this

This is too real. I hate it so much. I get so clingy and want to be around someone 24/7. After a month or two I get bored and despise everything about that person. I don't want to do this anymore

damn. maybe i kinda cried for literally the whole video. i wonder if that means something

After two months of cognitive behavioral therapy I've gone from anxious/preoccupied to secure. :)

I strongly recommend everyone try cognitive behavioral therapy!

I was anxiously attach to Nathan. I’m so sorry I put too much pressure on him. I will forever be sorry.

“We hope you enjoyed learning how emotionally f—-d you are”

DUDE THIS IS ME FR (IM DIAGNOSED) but where is the not pissing unless someone is in the room because you're afraid fnaf will come out the toilet huh

My first girlfriend was very avoidant & I was always head over heels for her

I always thought, "maybe if I was prettier she'd love me & never leave me", "maybe if I showed I can be successful in my life goals she will want to live with me", & it was always me chasing her love & affection & losing myself

I genuinely have no idea how to be who I was before her & it's sad because I'm 23 & have nothing to show for all those years I spent trying to win her love

I get anxiously attached to people. It's from my childhood. Idk why

I’m so anxious right now

Is it possible to change attachment styles? I think I wasn't anxious in my previous relationship but I am positive I am being an Anxious attachment style now. I exhibited none if the things on the list before but now have all of them

bro i got all of these wtf 😭😭

When you doubt someone, Do you guys tends to be confused between : ‘is it my intuition trying to protect me’ OR ‘are they my traumas talking to me’ ? I find it so hard… that I finally tend to doubt myself 🥲🤣

I think used to be this, quite unstable but then I’m now learning to free myself from limiting beliefs.
But I still resonate to these somewhat. I’m in a relationship now and I love the person alot. I get really high emotions when I haven’t seen him in like a week, especially when he doesn’t answer my text. Idk why but I just get this really intense sad worry feeling and I hate it. He’s not the biggest texter and I often get annoyed when he doesn’t reciprocate acknowledging me when we’re away from each other, little texts like I love you and I’m satisfied.

I try and not get to held up in these feelings cause the end of the day, this is a me thing and I don’t need to get attached to him. However it doesn’t change the fact that it’s apparent I’m type of person experiencing heightened emotions and need them to be seen and acknowledged. He’s more grounded and more apathetic and I guess doesn’t feel the need to pamper feelings.

I’m talking to him to come to an arrangement where I can receive my needs whilst he get he wants to so in the future, I won’t have to keep going through emotional turmoil

BUT HOW DO I WORK ON IT 🤕🤕🤕

Im officially fu*ked

Im officially fu*ked

Me: How accurate can a narrator be?

Psych2go: Yes

I definitely didnt enjoy learning that i have this attachment style but okay.

atleast now i know and then i can improve my friendship and relationship, no wonder i need a lot of reassurance from the other person

:/

Narrator has an annoying, fake-sounding voice.

no one needs to get to know mw better... because I SAID SO

i've gotten a lot better but i'm not sure if this attachment style ever really goes away. even tho i know my husband won't leave me and won't cheat i still find my myself feeling that my spot in his life is in jeopardy. like maybe today he's connecting more/ better with the friend he's text then he is with me today. Thoughts like this make me worry and feel insecure

I have related every point except 7th one. Am I in danger.

This is definitely me.
Ticked every sign.
Worst part is lve been dating an avoidant and because l've been walking on eggshells whilst simultaneously internally freaking out, l'm beyond fried.
Being putting off defining whether him & I are in a relationship or not. Struggling fixing my own issues, just can't help him fix his.
He'll run, l know it's basically over and done but l need love not an illusion.

Wife of 6 years cheated on me the whole time, even during my cancer treatment. How could I not question everything.

Mine developed from other relationships and them never going well and of they did it wouldn't last. I've noticed mine has been affecting me more now since getting into a new relationship but after I realised that I might loose the relationship acting like this then I decided to try and let go. Duty help from my therapist I think I'm on thw road to recovery 😊

I have been experiencing severe anxious attachment for almost two years.
I want to share my thoughts

1) I feel very lonely without him but when I with him I don't feel satisfied or feel anxious about some things maximum time
2) i always have a feeling that he will going to leave me he will find someone else good and all boys are same ,thoughts like these
3) i can't trust easily very rarely I trust
4) i always feel insecure i always check his social media that if he liking any others girl or not etc etc
5) if I feel anxious than I will have a emotional rollercoaster in my mind to communicate with him 😢😢
6) I feel very sad all the time my all energy is drained I feel my anxious attachment is slowly converting into depression
7) if I can't communicate with him when I am anxious or insecure of any thing I will start to cry or feel depressed
8) Mt emotions is totally dependent on his actions totally
9 ) I don't feel my life interesting anymore now
😢
10) i always doubt his actions wheather his actions is against me or not
11) the worst part is if he sleep after an argument I can't sleep all night and cry all night
12) my sleeping pattern is highly disturbed I can't sleep ( insomnia ) i also experienced insomnia
13) overall i feel that my mind don't have a freedom to live happily because my emotions control is with someone else 😭 iam in a trap or something I feel like this
14) sometimes I feel so bor and sad that I have a thought of boring life and face extreme sadness that is not easy to handle and I do reckless behaviours
15) and I don't like physical intimacy after it I feel more anxious and I became an overthinker
16) sometimes I feel like to give up but I think about my parents 😞
17) I can't focus on my studies on my daily activities on my daily task and can't think about something else because I feel sad and lonely all the time

Unfortunately, I relate for all of them 😓

Psych2go: Do you relate to any of the things we've mentioned above?

Me:I have never identified so much with something than with this video