Handling friends who exclude you

People leave me out all the time because I am disabled so rude . They think I am one of their back up friends . They tell me I am putting too much effort in my clothing.

As a Christian, I don't agree with the idea of "treating them as they treat you". But the idea of distancing yourself seems... like a good idea.

Not only friends. But family also😪

I lost my friend group with a breakup (where my guy was conveniently crossing boundaries with another female friend) I became the banished one

Happens to me all the time. Always have been excluded by family members by people I work with, everybody. Even by so called people who claim to be Christians. It does hurt very, very much

There not your friends if they do that

Once alone, always alone. (I'm the problem)

I have completely given up on making or keeping friends. They are all disappointments. They are never there when you need them… It’s just always heart break.

Friends who that are really NOT your friends in the first place.
Real friends doesn't do that.
So called friends who you go on holiday with, whilst you're there,, your friends go to a nightclub in town without you, you've found out by accident by someone else , saying your friends have gone out
You say
"where?" ,
someone else said "oh, they've just gone down to a club in town ".
They're supposed to be your bestest friends, but where are they, at a club in town without you?.
So, what are you meant to do?...
You choose .....
1) ,Have a go at them?
"How dare you to exclude me!"
2) Go back to your accommodation, have an early night, & sob for hours, cause you're hurting cause your so called friends left you out
3) Lock them out all night to punish them for excluding you
4) Have A honest talk to why they left you out, & how awful it made you feel
5) Ditch them & find more fairer friends.
What would 've you done?

can this be done the same way with someone who does that when they are dating you?

I started drag two summers ago and got friendly with other queen's...I tho I'd made a good group of mates but me being sober seems to be an issue for them and I have been excluded from several events recently and it fucking hurts...I have better friends in my life and logically I kno its no biggie but it still hurts...I don't really know why

Even family members exclude you I honestly don't care very toxic they are. Thanks ❤

I am never dropping hints I want to be invited ever again. They probably didnt want me to go anyway because im not giod enough. They went to a haunted house and I was dropping so many hints to my friend I wanted to go. I didnt just wanna directly ask if I could go...

This is happening with my young adult son with his best friend. They have a group of 4-5 people and they used to do everything together, now the one friend is doing the excluding. It hurts to watch my son go through his feelings of being excluded. My son also keeps it real while the others kiss ass and don’t speak up if they’re bothered by something.

I'm in school but no one accepts me into any group 😢

It.hurts.

Never comit to one group!!!have more group friends and each weekend go to different group

Friends are not for ever

Had a friend come visit me after my father's death. Then he constantly excluded me from everything. While giving the "yeah ill hit you up". Had sometimes happened before. But after my father's death...I'm done.

Great video

God will give you better friends . It’s good to send off these type of toxic and low levels friends

My teenage daughter is going through this and man let me tell u I get so fuming mad watching her sad and tiptoeing around them. I told her start a fire and throw the match w them. She’s waiting for their so called “break” to be over so she can have her friends back. Makes me so sad and enraged. Personally I prefer to be alone and don’t have many friends as I like my time by myself. I hope she can see she doesn’t need these a holes

I am dealing with this now. I did say something because if I didn't it would build. Part of a bowling league with three other "friends". They decided not to include me in a summer league.

I have to think about it since I am angry right now, but I am just tempted to quit the existing league now. I made a commitment, but if I am no longer going to enjoy myself. Then it is not worth my time.

I was dumped by a group of friends I called my sisters. They all knew my mom couldn't have anymore kids after my twin brothers and I were born and I was born the only girl. I wanted a sister and so when God blessed me with sisters,I was beyond thrilled and felt beyond blessed. I was dumped simply for standing up against my friends. Two of them out of our 5 girl squad that included me have the same mother and when I defended them against their abusive mom they didn't stand up for me and neither did the other ones that were witnessing me being treated like I did something wrong. They even took their side instead of mine like, Why would you talk bad about your mom and what you don't like about her behind her back and when someone defends y'all you get mad at them?That makes no sense so I left. They've seen my first born and I went to one of their birthday parties at the beach but they rarely,BARELY invite me anymore. Only one texts but BARELY and the rest,no call,no texts,no voicemails,no coming to see my family and I,no making plans to take me anywhere even if it includes my child,no checking in on me. One of the ones I stood up for that was mad even hugged me at the beach party and I thought we were good only to find out they don't call,text,come over,etc yet I hear and see them having fun without me. Going to clubs,parties,dinners,Six flags,Bars,Sleep overs,slumber parties,etc and all without me for nothing,just because I defended my sister's only to get turned on and no one stood up for me. So while I cry almost everyday I see them on TikTok dancing and hear about what they do without me when one decides to text me. Do they sound like friends to y'all??

when u ask them to hang out with u and they come up with excuses every time and they hang out with others 24/7 thats a huge sign they are not ur friend. I tried for months to hang out with my friend because we were friends for so long. I did nothing wrong for this to happen they just start out of nowhere. Fuck them move on.

Thank you for this good information. It's worse when excluded by family. But still, you're right. There's nothing you can do about it. Best thing to do is find good people.

hi I need urgent advice.
So basicially I’m in a friend group of 4 and we are all in the same class. I always feel left out and sad around them. A few months ago, I asked 1 person in the group which is like the leader of the group if she could include me more, like say my name to bring me into conversations. She helped me for a few days but later on she forgot about it and everything went back to how it was. Our group of 4 is basicially 2 duos. Me and this girl called A and the leader of the group and a girl called I. The girl that I’m with always acts sad and goes to the leader of the group. The leader of the group hugs and makes her feel better and after A pretends nothing happened. I’m basicially not her first choice, which is sad. In another class, I have a friend let’s call her J and I feel happy with her. I have the choice to move class but if I move then I’m just stuck with the worry of my old classmates always asking me for the reason because a year ago in year 7 a girl changed class and the boys called her a traitor for months. Do you think I should change class, or stay in my class? Im trying to focus but it’s so hard because I’m very emotional and feel jealous.

I feel like I've been forgotten about already if I'm honest. I'm one of those nice, kind, caring people always have been and I always have people's backs and I'm a friend for life and I feel being taken for granted it's awful feeling and ur right I don't deserve it and it's never reciprocated. I just get used that's how it feels. I can only say I've tried my best. There's someone especially who I don't want to let go of but it's not just about me he needs to do his bit, If people genuinely care, they are right behind you. It hurts actually. I feel very excluded social media is a big contributing factor I agree 😞. 1 thing I don't want is to get hurt, I've gone through enough. But 1 thing I do want is to make amends with someone which needs to be sorted I can't leave it like this. Not fair on me.

Thank you , I know this video was made probably for sensible women but as a man I’ve met many people and for some reason life taught me very well how to analyse others and their behaviour and body language and the way they treat me but its also a curse , I can see how women treat others and its painful , its very hard nowadays to find someone that genuinely wants to hang out , I’ve spent time with my wife’s family but I can feel how they separate us , I knew they excluded her out of everything before we even got married but what even painful is how fake they are .. they want nothing to do with us and also slap a smile on their faces as well , its disgusting and we have no choice but to spend time together ..

Learn how to live with out other people. Do what you want.

Well said

I exclude my friend bc he excludes me:(

It sucks when you're the one that brought the group together 🫥

I just hope people like this burn in the fires of hell

damn i needed this, thankyou maam

"Find new friends."

Nothing enrages me more than when people say that as if it were so damn easy.

In 2019, I discovered I have an autoimmune disease and started taking immunosuppressants. When covid hit in March 2020, I had to create boundaries in order to keep me healthy and safe due to being immunocompromised, I am high risk. My friend of 25+ years mentioned she did not want to exclude me or make me feel excluded. Well, once my boundaries were set, I was excluded, ignored.... What was worse, this friend parked thier car in front of my house to visit my neighbor a few houses down. This occured March 2020-2021. I was not stalking, I have floor to ceiling windows in my living room, cathedral ceilings, and the windows face the front yard and street. So, it is hard to miss seeing a vehicle parked in front of my house, especially since the seating arrangement in the living room faces the windows.....
My boundaries where constantly pushed, and then it turned into subtle pushing, then one day, my neighbor outright told me they would not respect my boundaries. With that, my friend of 25+ years took offense, cause come to find out she is dating my neighbor.... How dare I have boundaries! How dare I make boundaries that are "all about excluding my neighbor". Ummm.... No. I went no contact from my neighbor, who is now living with my "friend" of 25+ years. Grateful my neighbor moved away, but there is no getting through to my friend, totally blinded and brainwashed. I have distanced from my friend of 25+ years, pretty much no contact at this point because I am getting the silent treatment. I am pretty sure they both want me to pretend I don't have Ankylosing Spondylitis (autoimmune disease), Fibromyalgia, immunocompromised and other health issues. Instead act like I am healthy, not immunocompromised, and pretend covid isn't a concern. No thanks, going to listen to my doctors (plural) who know WTF they are talking about. My life, my body. I am the one living my life, not them.

Oh hear hear!!!

I'd say "up yours!!!" to them & stick two fingers up at them, if I were you!!.

Near my 30 and still experience this for my 10+ yr friendship. Thanks for the advice.

Detach- veer away from such people!! They’re not genuine true blue friends!!
You’re better off without these people.. 🙄
I’m speaking from personal experience.
I’m fed up/ veered away from this group of fair weather friends! 🏃‍♀️ 💨 don’t walk- run away from people who aren’t genuine ...friends!! Period !!

Lookism that's the overall answer it's either lookism Or money or status or usefulness

Family members can also be like this, leaving certain siblings out of their gatherings. Don't need them in your life.

This video helped a lot my friends excluded me at a hangout yesterday so i treated them how they treat me… by slapping them

my friends not only exclude me from SOOOO many hangouts or sleepovers but they also frequently talk about it in group chats they know i’m in, it seems like they’re really trying to rub it in my face. and when my so called “friend” has an issue she would always vent to me and im always there for her but she’s never there for me too. it has gotten to a point to where i’m not even bothered anymore if they hangout with the group except for me, im used to it. they have not even invited me once and i just don’t know what to do. also as a teen it’s harder to keep all these problems bottled up as i never tell anyone including my parents about these type stuff. but im planning to soon and i’ll let my parents maybe talk to my friends parents about this.

The good thing is you know where they live and payback is only limited to your imagination

Your word are comforting facts thank a lot

I get excluded alot and I just put a sad smile on my face and tell him I am happy you all had fun. I agree time to push off and he has done so much that this time I promised myself no way not again . So it will be his regret not mine. Pull away is a must!

This happens with family too! I have sisters that like to gang up on me👎🏼