How to Be Less Emotionally Reactive: Black and White Thinking

expressing emotion realistically

My boyfriend is more emotionally stable than I am and I just feel bad all the time for crying over stupid stuff whether it’s the smallest comment or a minor inconvenience in my day. I want to get better at managing my emotions and feeling things less deep than I do if that makes sense.

Every time something happens with my partner and I, I always get so upset about it that we can never actually work out our issues.

Would this be helpful for that response? Or is there something else going on there?

This black and white thinking is me and I’m so happy to have some tools to use now. Had a therapist that I loved a few years back but she moved out of state so I am not in the mood to start over so I haven’t even looked for another. But I feel positive if it just start this way of thinking I can find another when I get the basics completed. Great message.

Your hair is so pretty 😊

This was really good and helpful, thank you!

Love this! Thank you!

I dont get it but what if the wife really never does the dishes??? Or that my father always literally thinks im wrong then what?

Catastrophizing

I do this on a daily basis. Every morning, when I look on Facebook, what I see DICTATES my day. Business competitor is doing well? I’ll NEVER be as good as they are.
Dogs needing a home that I can’t provide? I am the WORST person on earth.
What’s wrong with me?

narcissists think in black and white

Once I start getting emotional in a confrontation I can’t back out and just keep going until my emotions get out of control. How do I handle this when I have to try and communicate through an emotional charged confrontation with someone?

Thank you so much for this amazing video ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks!

this is actually therapy

Ty the "and" has wriggled out a few ideas ie "I'm angry that she's ungrateful and there's nothing I can do about it" So now I'm angry about 2 things. I assume this exercise meant to go negative + positive. Ergo "I'm angry she's so ungrateful and I'm happy I no longer have to live with her meltdowns"

Black and white thinking is a pre staging of coping mechanism for anxiety and stress, for the possible difficult experience that may produce discomfort

I really needed to hear this. Definitely saving this.

Cool ...."Thats not about selfcontrol"
Few minutes later : just calm down, take a breath , its just a thought, focus on emotions
Like, yeah .... I would totally do that without selfcontrol while being angry and furious 🤨

This got suggested when I was trying to distract myself from a family members attempt and my other fam reacting I’m the worst way about it

Amazing strategies

Black and White thinking is honestly why I broke up with my last bf. Bc he would constantly blow thing up to a hyperbole. Like no today isn't just bad and awful and everything sucks. There are so many things to be grateful for everyday. You're just focusing on the negative.

Wow I’ll speak to my therapist about this

Merry christmas

I love
U

Extremely helpful thank you 🙏🏾

My husband has always communicated aggressively in black and white thinking, like "You're wrong for feeling that way" or "You never understand." I've been trying to help us both communicate more assertively and with "I feel (emotion word) statements," but I don't have any hope that it'll change. This causes me a TON of anxiety. But thank you for this video, as it helps me to root out my own black and white thinking.

1. Notice extreme words (I don't want any friends, I want to die, etc...)
2. Slow down ( focusing on breathing helps to calm down)
3. Use an emotional word ( I feel anxious, I feel depressed, etc...)
4. Reframe your thoughts
5. Use Both/And ( My life is depressed and I need to look for other ways to be happy, I feel anxious and I need to detach from the situation, etc....)
6. Look for exceptions (I'm a confident person but I lost in that situation, I'm a happy person but I was attached with that bad situation, etc...)
7. Be precise when talking about the problem (I thought I would be happy when I was with a friend but I'm enough, I thought that problem would end my life but it's just a small problem which would be resolved by asking for help, etc....)
8. Be accountable (Managing attachments, loosing happiness for other's opinions)

Excellent advice thank you!

This is so helpful! Thank you so much!

Women tend to moan like this far more than men

Lol 😂 More like a wife says to a husband you never do the dishes

:)

Thank you,I struggled with just seeing things based on pat patterns and tend to misjudge/misinterpret situations based on how I think they are in my mind which made me cry a lot then later when I get clarity , I feel like I literally keep on hurting myself over nothing and the anxiety keeps growing so this was really helpful because I really want to stop feeding my mind with negativity ❤

Thank you for this video!

This is stoicism.

Democrat-or-Republican is a 'Black-and-White' thinking: When people tell me how much tax they are paying--they are telling me --how-rich-they-are; I like numbers--I like the IRS; When my young-adult daughter got food-stamps--I was relieved--I don't want her to go hungry--I grew up as 'hungry-children -in-India'

What a great video!! Thank you!!! I do often think in gray terms but my how I like to go over to the black and white side sometimes. Lol. It doesn't seem to solve anything when I do that!!

This is a problem trying not to see things as black and white, when you see a country invaded for eg like Ukraine. Or you witness the cruelty inside slaughterhouses. It is really bad in these places. My thoughts are correct. Hence why I'm vegan.

This is very good

You really were honest: using “I feel” and giving the situation time so that you can chill are all honest!

hopelessly devoted to you

Catastrophizing.

I hate it when i have to divulge info about myself that most people i dont know in English the word but they look at you them as if you a about to break birdie i hate that

I appreciate you so much!! I'm adding your videos to my Mental Health playlist on my YT channel :)

The climate hoax is the biggest fraud against humanity ever. 😅