Are My Cats Playing or Fighting? | Cat Playing vs Cat Aggression

I got two kittens from the same litter, they played great for the first year and now can't be in the same room without hissing and growling and fighting. At your suggestion I've given them separate areas and they just leave each other alone if they can, but if i had to do it over I'd only have one of them. Keeping them apart is a PITA.

So i have a question, i have two male litter mates who are about 15 months old. I got a wand toy yesterday and they go feral for it. Well when playing with them they started low growling when theyve caught the toy or hissing. One hissed at my partner for putting it away. They dont get violent when i try to take it away when theyve locked down on it but im worried about what ive seen on google about it being overestimated aggresstion or territorial behavior. Should we donate the toy and get rid of it or is this ok behavior? Has a video been done to cover this behavior?

My two cats definitely squabble like sisters. 😂 They're both girls and both came from the shelter at different times, the older one (gotta love those torties!) is 7 and basically only half-cat. She was a bottle baby with at least 12 other cats when her old parents had to go into assisted living. She's basically dialed up to 11 -- a spicy little lovebug puppy-dog-like cat. Pretty sure her siblings taught her to play rough. The younger tabby-girl is 4 and I don't know her earlier history, just that she and some other animals were taken by court order into the shelter. She's shy and a bit skittish around humans but she's also an acrobat and can definitely hold her own. They'll both take turns going up to each other and when one grooms the other it's like foreplay to them because you can bet that within about 10-15 seconds they'll be throwing paws. The tabby packs a good wallop and the tortie will use her teeth and there might be a little fur afterwards but there's never any blood or pee or hiding afterwards. Either someone will exit the situation or they'll defuse it after a bit and lay down right next to each other (though they have been known to "get the last word in" per se after the other cat turns their back). They will have claws out sometimes and ears might go sideways in the middle of it but they're obviously not out to hurt each other or somekitty would've been hurt months ago. If one of them hisses then they're good about hitting the "pause" button. They squabble like siblings and right now they're curled up on the couch next to each other so ain't nobody skeered of the other. And they'll both initiate so it's not like one's picking on the other.

My cat throws himself infront of me and screams as though I hurt him when my foot barely even brushed him and then he demands sympathy. Like those people who try to sue or commit fraud by pretending they got hurt in an accident. Sometimes I fall for it and give him treats and love because I thought I stepped on him but I realize now that he's trying to scam me. But it's every single day! Am I right about him trying to scam me for treats or does he just want attention or what? Sometimes I do accidentally step on his little paw but he literally rushed over to put it there so I would step on it!

I was concerned at first when my two newly adopted 10 month old cats were "fighting" like the ones in the video. I eventually calmed down though, because after the fighting they would take a nap next to each other!

I recently lost my 14 yo Maine Coon man. It was terrible. I have always had more than one cat but my female had died about a year before and he seemed to like being an only cat so I didn't feel pressured to get a kitten, I thought I had time. About 3-4 months ago, he got very sick, and started wasting away very quickly. It looked like diabetes, but we (the vet, my boy, and I) just couldn't get ahead of it, so in the end we thought that the diabetes was probably a secondary problem, not the primary problem. He was suffering. So then, I was pet free for the first time in almost 30 years; that did not go well. I found myself walking around the house and looking around a lot, random, and restless and realized I was looking for a cat. Waking up in the middle of the night, no cat on the bed, thinking I felt someone jumping on to the bed, no cat. No one to tell me to feed them, or to pet them, or to clean their box. Funny the things you miss. It was awful. It wasn't my boy who I was looking for, he had been through a lot so I had accepted his death as comfortably as it was possible to do. I simply didn't know how to be without a cat. So I started to connect with breeders I trust to find a kitten. [There are a lot of Maine Coon scammers out there so this is no small concern.] I travel, so spend most of my time living in hotels; travelling with cats is difficult so I thought I'll get one kitten. But a trustworthy breeder I was lucky enough to get connected to had two available kittens, achingly cute siblings a girl and a boy. After some struggle and against my better judgment, I took them both. I only saw Jackson's video advising getting two later. I have to say that this was the best 'bad' decision I ever made. They take so much care of each other, entertain each other, groom each other, and sleep in a cat lump together and they are starting to like me, asking me to pet them, demanding that I feed them and generally see me as their person. It is my privilege to be their person and we all know it. As for the travelling, they do it really well so far. I am doing a couple of things of which Jackson might disapprove. I'm trying to toilet train them, which would make travelling with them significantly easier; and I'm thinking of harness/leash training them, because if you have ever tried to lug around two 20+lb cats in carriers, as I did for years ...well you understand the problem. So thank you Jackson, and sorry if that last bit offends.

My kitten is the aggressive ome, my 1 year old is scared of her cause she hits my 1 year old. The older cannot do much cause she is a scaredy-cat. But then again she chases the kitten, the kitten chases her. I don’t know if they are playing or fighting. Cause once the kitten chases her my 1 year old hides. But later if I separate them, 1 year old searches the kitten. But while running they bump into things and then hand fights too. What to do

My cat is very vocally dramatic when playing with other cats. Always has been. Im guessing yuki is the same way

I have an Older cat 8. I brought in a 4 month old. When Ty turned 2 there has been issues at first and the older cat chasing Ty off of the trees and furniture. It has escalated into attacks by the older cat Spark. I have separated them and let them play under the door. Ty is on high alert to the whereabouts of Spark. They stare at each other. I've brought in a kennel so they can eat in the same room. Ty is afraid of Spark. So far today there isnt any hissing when one of them who is out of the kennel comes up close. I'm afraid to just let them in a room together as I don't know how to separate them in a fight. I don't like having to keep them in separate areas

I came here after my male just didn’t want to let go of my female and made her scream.

They are both fixed, turning 5 this year. My male is from the shelter, my female we got from someone private. She got socialized properly, I honestly don’t think my male did. We got them as kittens, 2-3 weeks apart. My female behaved like an angel, but my male, spending his first weeks in a cage, in the middle of nowhere, with two mom cats and 7+ other kittens, I feel like he missed out on some early interaction idk…

He plays rough, to the point where he spits out her fur. He is loud and not graceful 😂 he doesn’t meow, he screams like a seagull! He would be the elephant in the china shop.

Most of the time they both get along, but it’s those times where he gets rough I get super worried and wonder if getting a second kitten was a mistake… 😢

It's absolutely normal.. I only have one but I play with with him all the time he never draws blood ever

Cats don't usually hurt each other that love one another

Thankful for this! I was pretty sure my babies were just playing but I wanted to be sure. I sometimes have to remind them not to be too aggressive but they do a good job of holding back too.

I was going to watch your video, but the commercial drove me away.

Thanks Jackson, this video gives some perspectives.
Our two cats (Chantal and Bix) hunts each other, Its just, Bix doesn't know when to stop 😅 Chantal growl, hiss, and even though she already run to her "safe spot" he still chase her. Thats when I normally distract him with toys so he stop bothering her. When I play with them, Chantal pulls away because Bix plays HARD and dont care of his surroundings, so i need to make separate playing session (and when I do this, Bix in the other room constantly meows out of jealousy 😅).
It makes us a bit sad because Chantal used to be a very playful kitten. When we adopt them, she is the confident one and Bix was very shy. Overtime Bix blossom into a very energetic cat, and Chantal becoming more passive, she doesnt responds well to play session anymore (especially when Bix is around). She develops "Leave me alone, I don't want to deal with your sh*t attitude" towards him 😅

My last kitten was introduced into a house with 2 adult cats to wear him out. At one point my middle-aged kitty (who is also a runt who thinks he's the house bully) figured out that if he sounded like he was really being hurt that the kitten would stop. So he used that as a tactic to try to gain the upper hand against the kitten. The kitten took this to mean he never needed to back off, which the bully quickly learned was a poor life choice on his part. Said kitten eventually gained 7 pounds on my little bully-runt, and you could always tell when they were done playing by the loud THWACK of a much stronger cat slapping some sense into a much weaker one. Cats just need to work it out.

We brought a young dog and a cat together. It took time, but they did learn how to play Together very successfully. The dog would play endlessly, but there are times the cat would have enough. She found polite ways to tell the dog to stop without attacking or hurting it. She is a great little cat.

Take home 2...take home 3....AND THEN there were 27!

Its pretty common for me to see both. Three of the cats play. Fourth youngest is too dumb and angers/terrorizes other cats when he gets too excited. Never seen anything close to a real fight just them occassionally getting mad. They definitely learn through injury would sometimes see small injuries on youngest cat but anymore. Knows how to push other cats without pushing hard enough to anger them. He seems to have a small dominance competition with the biggest most muscly cat.

My cats love to play with each other. They’re opposite personalities. Gerwyn, the dark void (black cat) is outgoing and friendly; Destiny (brown tabby girl) is what Jackson would call a wallflower cat. I think she spent most of her kitten hood in a shelter :(

Love that mom isn't laughing it off but rather truly doing best to raise the little guys in a safe and happy home. What a great live they have to grow into!

2 years my pacifist cat had a frenimy relationship with neighbors cat. Neigbor clcat stalked my cat. Flop down as boss. My kitty would growl They'd stare. Posture. Rarely paw swat exchange. 2 years.

Then on afternoon during the usual drama play, the other cat really attacked. Like to KILL, not just fight.

Neighbor cat mom was aghast and felt so bad, but she had never ever seen that behavior. My cat was literally traumatized. Her meows of real pain, surprise, fear, were heart-rending.

My dog will break up a cat play fight! Or even excited play. So sadly my 2 older cats are wary of playing, and one of them will even ignore the feather toy.
I brought home 2 kittens in August, I'm so glad I have the 2 of them to take out their energy on each other through playing and chasing. They play fight, sometimes with screaming noises, but they always know what to do and when to stop. Luckily my dog leaves these 2 to it!

When you have witnessed a real catfight you will never confuse it for play again.

My two kittens have epic wrestling matches on my bed in the middle of the night lol

Ohh you will know the difference when you see it ... (the screaming, piss, shit and pieces of fur flying is some of the signs...).

Why is the thumbnail so funny to me. 😂

I've got 2 cats (1 and 3 years old) and my mom has 2 cats who are over 10. My cats play together and with the other one of my mom's cats but the other one does not want to play. My cats have literally started bullying her. They'll chase her up the tree and attack her even when it very clear she just wants to be alone. There's a lot of growling and hissing and especially the 3 yo cat will just ignore it and still push.
Idk how to make it stop. She clearly knows she's not supposed to attack the older cat since she'll look at me whenever she's planning on it and I'll tell her no which usually makes her just slow down for a bit before lunging.

I'm fostering 6 kittens (one litter) for the first time & they frequently tear at each other's faces with their back feet & they have such razor sharp they tear me up BAD! My biggest fear is hearing from the next room when one of their eyeballs gets torn out! 🙀😮‍💨

As long as eyes ears are UP and they never dead-stare, its all play.
I have a now 7 months old cat boy that play-fights with a now 3 months old cat-girl a LOT.

Usually the little girl starts and ends ALL the encounters, and he just keeps grabbing and licking her, while she wants to bit him gently.
They both are licking and there is no hissing, just some calm complaining when one cat is pinned down immobile for more than 2 seconds.
He knows her since she was isolated by her stray mother at 1 week of age with 70 ticks and various minor diseases, and I cared for her and the mother went missing ever since, so she is my little orphan now.
He got 2/3 of all meals from me since birth, and i ended up as birth helper for his very small and very young mother, who was never ready to raise her 5 litters of 5 before she got sterilized, but she tried, and with human help, much more than 1 kitten per litter survived.

Today I brought these Two tame-since-baby-stray-cats and her 7 months old much wilder bigger sister indoors, and they are VERY outdoors and VERY tame stray cats. Her big sister is not as playful, she barely survived childhood in the wild and seems slightly malnourished (much smaller for the age) but healthy, but we just had first frost+snow so all the cats want more food and warmth and the 25 stray cats here are much easier to belly-rub.

Thanks for this. I have a 5 year old tortoiseshell and a 6 month old orange (all my sister's friends at vet school agree that I must be crazy). They play and get alone for the most part, until the kitten inevitably tries the "bite back of neck" move. Then the older one hisses, runs off a few feet, and refuses to keep playing. She doesn't hide, it's more like "you broke the rules so this play session is over". The kitten has yet to learn the lesson. I keep telling her she needs to smack him but she doesn't. She used to smack him when he was new, but now she doesn't, even when he deserves it 🫤

We agree. In May 2020, we adopted 2 6 wk old tuxedo sisters who had feral parents. They were so much fun to watch growing up. Then we had opportunity in July 2021 to adopt a 4 mo old male stray. He loves having the sisters to play with or " torment". All good fun. We love having 3 cats...& a dog who will run check on the cats when she hears a fuss.

Several weeks ago I was presented with a kitten about 6 weeks old whose mother had died. It was known that there was a second kitten we couldn't find. Then after 3 days someone caught her and brought her to me. They are so happy together and will play/fight for half an hour, knocking everything over in their path and then lie down together to sleep. They also sleep with me every night. Their play can get a bit out of hand but I'm so happy to see them together. Even when they play with me, they never bite hard, though I occasionally get caught with a claw as one flies past my head. As you say, always try to get two kittens, especially if you can't spend hours entertaining.

For kittens especially, but in general, where there's room for one cat, there's room for two. Also, as for telling the difference between play and fight, these two clearly had playful expressions. Ears up and forward, friendly, excited face - that was playing, even if we're just judging by that.

I just picked up two kittens. It's so fun watching them play and be curious together.

I just got a new kitten from the street (or I guess more accurately from under the engine of my dad's car), and recently introduced her to my four-year-old cat. After the initial "What the eff is this tiny squealing thing?" phase, my older cat has really taken to the kitten. They snuggle and play all the time. I admittedly get kind of nervous when they wrestle because of the size difference and the kitten being super vocal. So yeah, this is very helpful.

I have a 5month old kitty and a 15 years old kitty and the 15 year old is declawed (sadly, adopted) and I feel like the kitten is really stressing the old man

I woke up one morning to white patches of fur all over the house. My 2 cats are siblings and grew up together. Not sure if they were fighting or playing. I didn't find evidence like scratches or blood so, I guess they get their energy out in the middle of the night.

My sibling cats are 4 years old. One cat is dominate, Alpha if you will. The two will play, but after a while the Alpha will take it too far and the other will yelp. I break it up at that point. The Alpha tends to be a bully -- just her personality. Her sister by contrast is an absolute sweetheart. Thanks for all the help with these videos Jackson!

We got two male cats about two years old. They often sleep together and walk in a group around and so on. They often fight too. Mostly one hides and then jumps on the other and they kick and wrestle. Sometimes it looks a bit brutal, but so far none of them was injured and they also never hissed or something.

I adopted my kitty when she was 8 months. She's a dilute tortie, very talkative, very "clingy." Her mom's human mom thought she'd be a good fit for me, since I live alone and have lots of spare time. So it's possible for only getting one kitten to be ok. Maybe it's better because she was several months old, had been around her mom and sister and her mom's second litter, so she'd already gotten that kitten-learning-stage done.

Anyone who can't tell the difference, shouldn't own animals.

I also have this issue. My two cats Nyx ( F turns 4 in October ) and Asterius ( M turns 3 in August ) chase eachother all over the house when they get the zoomies, but if Nyx decided Asterius has gotten too close to catching her she SCREAMS like he just ripped her belly out. Heck, she screams like that WHEN SHE AMBUSHES HIM. We thought he was the aggressor at first and Nyx was telling him to back off, but she'll bait him into a chase and then turn around and yell at him the moment he gets close enough to pounce.

I wish I could tell when they were playing and when they were fighting, because that yowl gets me running to make sure they're okay every time.

My younger cat knocked the older ones fang out

Thank you for this one. My Norwegian Forest cat Woolley helped my kitten learn to fight/play/hunt. And all was good until my ginge reached 9/10 months. Woolley doesn't instigate that rough play anymore as if to say, 'nope, I've taught you well grasshopper, you'll be fine without me.' He doesn't mind if Chester instigates, that's fine, just doesn't happen so much now.

I definitely want to get a pair of kittens later in life. We found my first cat abandoned as a kitten and had him by himself for a year. When we intentionally adopted our second cat, I had to pry them apart every single time they played because he'd tackle her like a football. I don't know if he was just excited, or if he actually didn't know how to play with a smaller cat (and I mean 1/3 his size)-- but even friendly wrestling was broken up until she was big enough to fight back. But once she was, boy could she!!

I did notice another side effect of their upbringings after the fact. The younger cat is way quicker to bite when she's annoyed, but it doesn't really hurt. Her older brother, meanwhile, is one of the most patient and saintly cats I've met. But when he does 'nip' you... 😬

Sometimes I see tufts of hair after a fight, and other times I’ll feel a little scab later. They do try to hide or be in separate rooms when they’re sick of each other.

Hey, Jackson, I like your new earrings! Why don't you do the cool cheek shavings like you used to shave?

I adopted two litter mates male and female, who cuddled for the first few months. Then the boy grew into a 13 lb wrestler and his loner sister at 6 lb who prefers a fuzzy chew toy and runs away and hides when brother takes off after her.