Keep Readers Hooked with Immersive Writing

Do you think that this is a good kind of immersive writing?


A woman runs down the old london street, her high heels clicking and tapping on the cracked cement. Thunder can be heard far off, and a soft rain begins, slowly turning hard. to escape from the rain, the woman turns down an abandoned alley, quickly to escape the rain. panting and gasping to fill her lungs, she begins more leisurely walking down the dark alley, illuminated by a single wall lantern midway, with a single spot of light against the darkness that appeared to go on forever past the light. eventually she stops at a huge brick wall, dotted and speckled with grime and advertisement posters, long worn out. it cuts off the alley from the other street.


” Here comes Peter Cottontail,” a voice sings from the alley’s enterence, “Hoppin’ down the bunny trail,” The man begins to walk down the old alley. His voice is quiet yet sounds as exited as a child’s.

The woman tries to open the side door to an abandoned factory building, in the split second the woman turns her head away from the man and to the door lightning flashes in a blinding light and the man dissapears from sight.

” Who comes hoppin' down the bunny trail,” a hushed whisper comes from behind the woman.

WHY ITS PETER COTTONTAIL

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This is a story that I am writing, I don't know if I was able to do it correctly and I would like some opinions about it

Thanks a million Viv

RICK BRAGGS WRITING

Omg your dog is so cute!!

I am writing my first novel which is erotic/ romance. Can you give me some advice on writing a good romance novel cause there aren't many good writing advices out there for romance genre

Do you have pupils?

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Perfume is a great example of "Using your senses". It's one of my favorite books, and I took less than a week to finish it. I just couldn't put it down.

These suggestions are perfect for me right now! I've heard some of these things before, but I always need reminding. I love your style. Keep it up, Vivien! :)

I've spent too much time staring at the dog(s) haven't?

I take notes when I watch your playlist. I'm 11 years old and I am writing a novel "Dead But Still Alive" I will publish it on wattpad. I want to take as much tips I can to improve my work.

I NEED a video where the process is outlined in blocky steps start to finish. Such as, "come up with idea, outline, brainstorm, edit, etc" and I know I have that order wrong but I can't find it set out in such simple steps ANYWHERE. I have a very bad short term memory and bad attention span and I can't spend hours searching for the steps in order without getting distracted. I don't need "just sit down and write" bs, I've been doing that for two years through 5 complete rewrites, and I'm tired of it. Help?

Outstanding video.

Super informative, thank you! I'm in the middle of co-writing my own book, and getting the hang of immersive descriptions is really transforming the story to something on a whole new level.

I wish there were more like buttons

To your point on strong verbs: I find even the most precise verbs OCCASIONALLY benefit from a modifier (adverb), but are these still verboten when the most specific verbs English has to offer can't quite convey your exact meaning?

i’m watching your videos just because i have a crush on you

What's a good writing format to use? I'm new at this whole writing thing, and want to get some good info, before I jump in head first only to drown...

How do you improve your verb and noun vocabulary. Do you use a thesaurus. I've seen books of verbs. Help.

Emersion on feeling is important...

I just spent 7 minutes immersed in your beautiful eyes. Good vid too.

Love these videos! Super helpful

Immersing five lessons
1…0 Use your Senses Seeing, Hearing, Feeling, Smell and Taste
2.0 Learn the point of view 3.0

Funny that your dog is walking around in the background

Really good tips!

Me: watch video
Vivien: Saying something that my novel does not have
Me: Delete my novel
Also me two minutes later: cry

Taking out and replacing the word 'said' is an interesting idea. Thanks!

I love your videos on editing. Especially the video on cutting ‘the’ ‘of’ etc wherever possible. My sentences read more beautifully now, so thanks. Also, you’re funny and chilled.

Dear Vivien what you say is important and useful. You are a great ''coach'' for novel and short story writing, but I must say you are a poor speaker. You read your text and speak way too fast, like other ''coaches'' I noticed. What a pity. Could you slow down ?

well quite an impressive stuff, also gives me an inspiration to research more on engaging readers. I have question for you, say if you have to describe a scene of sky diving how would you do that? I want to match that with mine and learn. Its kind of an old video but just in case if you see this comment and bother replying :P

Can you teach me how I can start sentences withe beginning with He or His

I don't really read fiction, as much as I love writing it, but if you ever read anything John Locke has written, give it a page or two and you'll be addicted to the way he writes.

Great Examples for Limiting Narrative/Dialogue Tags :)

My name is viyan sounds similar

Awesome vidio, u r vidio becomes much informative, Merry Christmas madam.

hi and happy new year. How do you do deep point of view if the narrator is omniscient? Since the omniscient narrator is telling the story from his point of view/perspective, how do you go into the character's head, show character emotions/sensations, get an idea of how the focal character is perceiving the scene, when the narrator is outside of the story, telling the reader?

Can you do deep pov or even regular pov from a character when writing in omniscient or will the story be more 'telling' since the omniscient narrator has to tell the reader that the focal character is feeling this or thinking that, and use filtering such as billy felt a chill instead of showing billy zipped up his coat?

From what I can gather, the omniscient narrator can que the character in the scene by introducing them, billy hobbled up the stone steps, then, since we're aware billy is the focal character, we can go into his head/heart similar to third person limited, even though we're in omniscient, because and we can get that deep/inner character pov by how and what billy feels and thinks, even though his thoughts and feelings are being told to us.

Here we have billy, a boy of with an ankle all kinds of broken. He hobbled up the stone steps, red faced and wheezing.

A spike of heat lunged through the side of his foot. He clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth

"Ouch!" he exclaimed and then tried to shift his weight to his better foot, while gabbing the frosty railing so that he wouldn't fall into the snow.

Above we have an omniscient narrator narrating the scene, but we do use some third person limited techniques to get into billy's thoughts and feelings. Does that work? Is that how you're supposed to do omniscient writing? Is that how you're supposed to get deep into the character while remaining omniscient - introduce the character which ques the reader for his experiences, allowing the omniscient narrator to dive in and tell the character's thoughts in feelings? the telling is similar to third person limited/deep pov?

An omniscient narrator tells, using showing techniques?

please help

Excellent tips!! I ever wrote them down so I could refer back them while I write. ❤️😀

You're so amazing that I feel like I'm horrible compared to you. Like every time I think I'm doing good you just prove to me that I have a long way to go. Lol.

you're amazing 😌

I hooked with your eyes.

Vivien your voice is very sweet . Thanks for this deep insight . 🎈

Am I the only one who thinks Vivian’s voice is soothing?

I wish I had have heard point 3 before I began writing 😐😅

I watch your videos because you are so pretty. And yes, I learn a ton.😀

OMG LOVE IT! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!!

Thanks for this helpful advice!!! ❤

Dialog tags are obviously entirely necessary most of the time. It would totally bog down the prose if you gave an action for every line a character said.