How to MAKE FRIENDS...as an ADULT.

I'm glad the algorithm put this video in front of me. I moved with my hisband to a new state in January and am really wanting to meet people and make friends but there is a lot of self-talk like you mention in this video that's holding me back. I appreviate the vlog AND informative style of this video!

Here's a challenge. It's easy to keep friends if you dont move around. Served alongside my husband for 25 years. Made great friendships but then had to leave😢 now I am 50 and it is so much....harder. I have made some connections but nothing really close. Also, it requires so much keep up. So I will continue and see. I have learned to go where ur interests are. So I like being active. I'll try making friends at the gym exercise class. Wish me luck!😅

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. Im listening to everything you are saying and taking it in.

I have opinions on this topic. I clicked on the link, thinking: "I wonder if I will agree with her? Let's see..." And: I DO. Caroline is 100 percent on target here with great advice you should take to heart. I'm a big believer is the sustaining importance of friendships for our long-term happiness. I live in a mid-size city. It's the kind of place where you'll often run into people you know. I have 4-5 clubs or activities in my life where these groups of women/men overlap and know one another, too. They are a book club, a walking club, a regularly scheduled Happy Hour, a religious organization, local politics. Caroline's best advice is "get out there." And my advice: Don't be superficial, because people from different age groups, income groups and (frankly) physical looks can be interesting. Good luck to you all. I feel friendship is SO important.

I grew up in a small town. Went to preschool with the same people I graduated with. Knew lots of people forever. Never had to learn how to make friends.....until I moved to the city. No one ever told me how to make friends before!!!!

So helpful Caroline! Count me as one of your new friends for sure :)

Even though this is six months ago I am sending this to my daughter age 34
She needs it right now. I just wanted to say for myself. my very best friends I've known for many years and we don't freak out if we haven't heard from each other even if it's months. When we do contact each other we seem to just pickup where we leftoff. I'm grateful for that because sometimes life just gets too busy. Love your posts. Many of them are hilarious but this one came at the right time

Thank you for your ideas of finding friend😊

Whichis he wonderful beat at min 18.30❓
Whoch music is it❔

I had a few friends, but they are married with kids and do not make any time.

Or the bff who needs 5 bffs and then just walked away. The second time i gave up. Like go ahead. Don't tell my why you are mad. I'm good.

I'd rather be solo than have to listen to her bs, when she had NO time when i needed support.

YES!! normalise the ebb and flow of friendships and outgrowing people!

Great advice. I found the same lack of opportunity in Boston. Everyone there went to school or grew up there and has no need for more friends. Also, as middle aged single woman I have found I have not gotten invited to dinner parties the last 15 years because everyone only wants couples. I used to get upset but finally accepted that I will not have the same socialization opportunities if I m not part of a couple.

re: organizing group events, HIGHLY recommend reading The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker! she has so many great tips for this!

the rain actually made it even more therapeutic <3

This was so relatable & helpful. It's to the point I just spend time with so many precious animals and study angels/angelology and spirituality/ and make connections in that way . Worried I cannot trust as folks have manipulated and hurt me in the past-Many of us have been there . I appreciate you bearing yourself in a personal way. It feels comforting knowing I'm not alone. I am in DC as well half the year . I found people are somewhat reserved with all the gov workers etc. In Florida the other part of the year where folks are friendlier , but it's been hard to develop deep friendship. New subbie - really enjoying your channel.

I just found your videos tonight.

Now,
don't go getting
like all conceited
or a big head,
or anything like that bish,
BUT,
you are absolutely, without a doubt, freaking adorable
and sooo precious.
🤗🤗🤗

OK,
I'll agree
to let you
be my virtual friend,
IF,
you allow me
to be your
virtual grandma.
This 71 year old woman
will never have grandchildren,
and I Need,
not only a friend,
but a very
intellectually and emotionally intelligent granddaughter
just like you!!!

Deal??? 😊😊😊

Friendship also takes work on both ends. Its hard.

I only have AA friends

I loved this video. It gave me new ideas. I love the idea that this is your job and approach it that way. Thank you for talking about this.

Wait. So I'm not special and unique, and this is a universal thing? Whew. I feel a bit better, thanks.

I'd like to add it's difficult being the accountable friend as an adult. Most of my friendships ended due to me being the friend that presented problems or spotted red flags before anyone else. Just to note, I'm rather honest (not crude, crass, or harsh) and I'm optimistic most of the time - we have our off days, right? Well, it's difficult being the friend that holds someone accountable, presenting issues, being the maintenance friend (how are we doing?), or giving warnings when there's BS afoot. My old friends didn't want to hear that. Keeping and managing authentic, life fulfilling friendships, whether the individual has kids or not, is challenging. My friend group dwindled to two people and I'm happier and healthier because of it. I say all this to address that not everyone wants to be your friend, or a good one at that.

You are an absolute treasure Caroline. This was so well done and relatable.

I have Chronic health conditions that make me unreliable. I miss a lot of events. I've lost many friends. I have 1 left. Because I can't plan ahead

I moved to a new city two years ago. I am a shy introvert but decided to give it my all. I threw myself into new activities, joined meet-ups, got out of my comfort zone and did what I call pestering people. I invited people I wanted to befriend to activities I was doing. After two years of pushing I find that I am still friendless. If I don’t call, no-one calls me. They respond happily to my calls and go out with me but never reciprocate. I’m out of energy. It is hard to not take it personally. This current city doesn’t have the activities I want in my life. I have decided to move to another city that has more of the activities and groups that match my interests. I figure that at least I will be able to do what I find fun and be around people who like the same things I do. Seems more likely that I will find connections in those groups…. That’s the theory anyway.

I’m a first time viewer, and so glad The Almighty Algorithm brought this to me.

This is a beautiful video. I’m 68, and just getting a handle on some of these ideas.

I wish every school taught this through every level of childhood. We really need emotional intelligence training!

Being human doesn’t come with a manual, but this is a good start. I don’t know what your background is, but you do a good job! Lovely.

I had few friends as a kid and teenager. After highschool I had lots of friends and still do, I don't know why it was not hard for me to make new friends and still isn't. When I was a kid I tried hard to make friends. After highschool up until now I never tried to make friends and I make friends everywhere. I'm 45, I rarely hang out with my friends but they ask me every week to do stuff. I think this is more a of female problem. I made friends at all the places I frequently went. At Work, at the gym, and through my hobbies. You have to have things you do that are common interests you share with people to become friends. Going out to dinner & hanging out is not a hobby.

Wait ... So people are actually trying to make friends as adults? What the fuck?

Everyone's not just working?

Once a month? Geez, I see my best friends only once every few months. We just struggle to find the time. They have kids and I have waaaay to many commitments.

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. It’s really helpful. Btw what the name of the indie song you are playing in the background ?

Thank you so much for the part about clinging to people. We need much more trust in ourselves and the time in front of us to bring new meaningful connections. And to be proactive. It's worth the risk and the weirdness in the beginning.

Adult friendships are usually harder because of adult responsibilities. When you’re free, they have work and when you have work, they’re free. It’s hard to schedule a time to meet up and spend a day together. In addition because you are adults now you want their best interests, earning money, saving money for future goals, and making sure they’re focused so they don’t falter on their daily obligations. So finding time to meet up in this economy is not always easy like it is for a TV show, a coffee shop, or hobbies. I don’t think adult friendships are impossible, but what makes it hard is finding similar people that understand the scope of responsibility in the economy.

This was an important video for me! Thanks! 🎉

I had to end a toxic friendship, because my ex-acquaintance, who I never considered a real friend, needs to mature her mentality, in a healthy way. I've always been one to say yes to inconvenient people, I learned to say no to those who hurt me. Now I met a sister from the same church as mine but in another country, we respect each other, so the friendship worked out. It's very important we see if it's ourselves which need to change for a better person and do not wear 🎭

People are rude, a text takes 15 seconds and why should a individual make the effort with 15 others and they do nothing.

1) very well thought out, filmed, presented, and edited, with great content!

I’m living the broke millionaire lifestyle at home and although I’m single I’m so busy with working out, practicing guitar, and taking care of aging parents that I don’t feel like I need friends.. besides isn’t “friend time” when you a kid or maybe at most in college.. after that it’s like you should make friends with somebody who can help you progress in some way.. but to just hang out with a friend for no reason other than company.. I don’t need that. I have fish tanks, tropical collector’s level plants to take care of.. etc.. I think just simple friendship is something you can knock out as a kid.. if not then go for it whenever.. sorry for my rant

Caroline! This was so helpful. I'm pumped, ready to give this friend-making thing a try. :) Thank you!!

tysm for this video!! I'm a college student with social anxiety disorder, its rlly hard for me to adjust to new people and new environments. but I do long for meaningful connections. You have given me a lot of insight and made me feel better about things. Thank you

I'm interested in watching your video, but don't start by say, The most important advice about making friends I got from my "friend" ....

Personally just want to thank you for making this video. It was really startling how much sense it made.

In my experience adult sports leagues made friends but a good majority moved away or ditched because I was no longer single. Bumble bff works only if the other person makes an effort to actually meet up.

Kind of sad that I have to search this up. I'm 19, so technically I'm an adult according to the law. So making friends as an adult isn't going to be easy. But honestly, if it keeps me away from the wrong crowd, so be it.

Caroline, I wanted to share that I watched this when you first posted it. I replayed this video as a pep-talk before going to social things. I followed all your advice. I now have an amazing community of friends in my new city. Thank you for being my internet big sister/friend! <3

It also helps a lot to have a “fun” personality and/or be interested in normal things like sports, common hobbies, a religion, etc.

Hell yeah!! 100% resonates.

one thing ive realised about myself, and i think it applies to everyone. you like some people , you dont like some people. theres no reason to it, thats just how life is.

I think the rain added a lot to this vid :)

Thank you so much for this video, I am a new subscriber and really love your videos. But this one has truly helped me during a difficult time. I hope you have a lovely day :)