This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Major RED FLAG | Matthew Hussey

I disagree. I think he wants what he understands a relationship is. If he’s an ISTJ, this is very common. If you don’t like that kind of relationship, then don’t have one. If she doesn’t want that kind of relationship, she shouldn’t seek to continue it. And he would be better off with someone who understands HIS idea of a relationship. No red flags. Just seek what you want and let others seek what they want.

One piece of advise from a woman.....(aged 70) treat us with respect not objects to be conquered....you'll get more bqck..

There are so many people out there nowadays that are quite frankly, screwed up and somewhat challenged In relationships. I actually feel sorry for the guy because I don’t think he is emotionally mature enough. Childhood stuff which is so much more prevalent nowadays. I would be looking into his back ground especially his childhood. He needs to control the relationship if this what it can even be called.

My husband of 40 years took me to the grateful dead for my very first date and show and let me tell you something hon. We never looked back and I have absolutely no regrets, much love, faith and peace.❤ My first show was the Greeks and 84 first time they had played dark star in many many years I was blessed!😊

I am bothered by this video being titled red flag. It isn't a red flag; rather, it is not compatible with her. Doesn't mean that there is something wrong with him.

For me, she would be the red flag. She wants to jump straight to married couple land and needs lots of interaction, which seems needy. He is trying to have amazing experiences with her. He is being authentic while she wants him to be a different person.

I share this thought to remind people that just because others have a different interest in life doesn't make them a red flag. Both people will find someone well suited for them and neither are wrong.

If anybody is a love coach or has to be coached on love, they know NOTHING of love. Avoid both like the plague.

1st Red Flag: Long Distance Romance. Just say no thanks. Unless you like high end adventures.

long distance relationships dont work at all

You know that a woman does not love you when she talks to her boyfriend during sex on her cell phone.

New relationships are like a dance. I think the lady in question is being pedantic. I want to hear his side of the story. Maybe he doesn’t like talking on the phone (like me); or maybe he’s busy working 10 to 12 hour days. He must have money and he’s clearly interested. A man doesn’t fly across an ocean to see a woman if he’s not.

I think the spontaneity & fun ive wanted is not fun with someone who isnt investing also. Cause our guards arent truly down. Taurus NN is not easy , if it feels unfamiliar, thats your NS or NN Fi Setting boundaries is a challenge & to allow myself to enjoy what I personally see as more egoistic, even though its truly basics, grounded

Dude's approach with his grand gestures seems impulsive and controlling and not emotionally available. Three red flags and I am only 2 minutes into the video.

Generally speaking, women are looking for love and commitment, men are looking for experiences.

HE's not ready to jump into another committed relationship until he's absolutely certain that she's his soulmate. If i were her, I'd let him fly to come see me and I'll put him up at my place. Why not? Let's 'experience' the world together as I've got nothing better to do 😅

I heard that "the Burning Man' annual event in the 'desert' is a spiritual experience which is what I'm look for but the BM isn't on my bucket list.

I don’t see that as a red flag necessarily.
Perhaps they just aren’t on the same page.
Maybe she’s looking for more than what he has in mind. If she feels like it’s not going to go her way then she should just cut ties and move on.
No need in labeling someone just because you’re disappointed.

This is good. But why is a London girl "dating" a NY guy? Are there that few choices in either city?

This does not make sense from any point of view other than a Hollywood romance script.

Ya...that is a long distance booty call.

It’s not just men towards women. Zero guarantee given, although that’s always expected! The love scene is one manipulative mess. So yeah, experience as much as you can! ❤

Long story short, nothing you can do as a man is gonna be good eough eventually.
Also, I seriously doubt there's such a thing as a 'bad listener' when it concerns women. They hardly know what thef*ck they want themselves, if when unrealistic.

So, one could say that this guy was looking for an 'incidental' buddy........she was the 'go to gal' until his 'something better' finally came along........

What a cutie he is.
A well-spoken young man who gets it.
Nice.

This was insightful and helpful. Thank you!

A very late comment, but… the problem of asymmetry and asking for things to „be different“ is that „she“ is not accepting things as they are. Yes, if she wants something different, then she can simply pass on the trips and grand gestures and seek something / someone different. Too many people blame the other person for not being what they want, and start asking them to be different. Too many people don‘t know who they are themselves, what they actually want. They can‘t find it out until they TRY having experiences. Even having „just fun“ experiences. I would advocate just having fun. Getting heart-broken due to unmet expections means your expectations were off. First: find out what exactly your expectations are. If you are continuously disappointed, that‘s a sign that you may just have finally accumulated enough experience to know finally what it is you really want.

This also applies to having kids with someone or getting married. Want the experience but not the relationship/commitment

Wants closeness- But Dates Intercontinentally..

Thank you mister,that helped a lot..merry christmas❤

Burning man ? Why did the woman think she could make this guy her husband ? He lives in america, why is she choosing an unavailable man really, as he is abroad, why is she not looking locally, thats the q she needs to be asking herself , is she afraid of commitment ?

When your north star is a helicopter light in the sky 😢

I met Dennis years ago. He was very handsome, sexy and totally into me. Because of childhood neglect I felt smothered and ruined it with him. I'm 60 now and trying to deal with this. I have to let it go but it's hard because I never met anyone even close to him. 😔😔😔

Seriously tho? Yes that’s a big red flag the fact she came home and he didn’t talk?? A man that can’t do basic easy communication…

ANY man that asks you to go to burning man?? 🚩 🏃‍♀️

A man to avoid is a man that suffer of apathy:
indifference
and emotional detachment!!!!

Darling......there are 2red flags that women need to look out for...
.1) stingy ness ....meaning unwilling to share.
2) apathy
Simple.

Geez I've wasted so much time in relationships that weren't my north star. Five years per wrong relationship: 5 x 3 = 15 years wasted.

I had a long distance relationship but the red flag was a complete lack of curiosity about how I was doing as opposed receiving to highly detailed updates on day to day trivia in her life. So I started buying motorcycles. Problem solved! 👍🏻

Also it began during covid and she probably wasn't the only one he had contact with. Now that it's over - covid that is - he's back to his old ways of socializing and showing her a good time which is how he can keep her and others around but at bay. Some men think that showing a women grand gesture will keep them interested but a serious adult woman wants more than a grand old time of restaurants and sex.

Great advise.

I actually feel the opposite from women to men, is very true in this case. Great time in person, then f all communication, reciprocity, hot and cold crazymaking behaviour.

It seems females are looking more for sex than relationships atm.

Haha he want moments no a relationship in between he is with another one NEXT

Dang, a 15 min video, for a 5 second message. So stupid.

"he didn't listen" remains an unclear point to me... just listening to this story doesn't tell me what one person actually might have said. but yes, there's a severe communication issue.

There are a growing group of men that only want sex... Why is this you might ask... Might have something to do with that growing group of women wanting a fantasy life... That only 1% of men can provide... And even that fantasy life often times turns out not so fantastic. So huge group of women all stumbling over them selves to get that 1% of men... I don't blame the huge group of men that only want a good time... Aka sex or fun trips... Women determine how relationships work... And the huge growing group of women using and abusing most men while trying to get that fairytale life... If women want this to change... They can change this... So far women don't want this to change... They want what they want no matter how ridiculous it is.

I really hope this isn't the advice people pay you for. You might want to tell women like this that sitting on the phone for hours talking about nothing of interest is how to get to know people. You should also discourage them from seeking out people on entirely different continents which is going to automatically associate each other with the excitement of a foriegn land.

Absolutely, need to get clear on what you want in the first place 😘

Powerful message

I really enjoyed this video. I also wanted to say that this guy looks like a cross between Daniel Radcliffe and Adam Levigne (totally not a bad thing)

Button your shirt up man. Haha.

The guy sounds like a narcissist.

I have to disagree that he’s not a bad guy. He is. I bet money that during Covid they got emotionally close. So this guy was faking it the whole time, just stringing her along in order to have an experience! She is noticing a cessation of communication and closeness, so that indicates there was that communication and closeness there before. This guy is a creep.. period! Think things through before you post!!