The Dark Side of Self Improvement | Suzanne Eder | TEDxWilmington

She talks about the dark side of self improvement, but the reality is that self improvement can pull people out of the dark place and can save their lives. Self improvement is a journey, so these values she advocates for fall within self improvement anyway.

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Completely disagree. Self awareness/self judgement is especially essential if your behavior is adversely affecting other people.

Shut up

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Self-improvement is a scam. Do this instead:
- Focus on being a good person (roughly: be kind and help others)
- Do things you like to do with people you like to be around
- Instead of learning to love yourself (which is impossible), learn to accept and endure yourself.
- Step 3 is best achieved by not focusing on yourself but on things around you.

There is nothing I want to self-improve. I am good person and I am content with what I have. I would like to be better at making music and playing piano but that is because I think it is fun not because I just want to be better.

I am listening to this every morning for a reminder of how amazing I am...I give myself space to grow!

maybe all I need is to find someone to support my thoughts and now I'm relieved, it's so good 🫂🥰

I've read over 100 books on self improvement and only a handful have been any help to me. The funny part is almost everyone one of those few that were helpful have to do with listening to my intuition and following my own path. I think it's time for me to meditate and stop reading these books :).

This speech gave me motivation for improving every aspect of my work and changing my habits. Thank you very much.

The fact that someone raised their hand immediately is hilarious.

You are what you are.

If this woman had gone through what David Goggins went through with her advise, she would have lost it long before it started

I'm surprised there aren't more Star Wars jokes here, lol

"If you only knew the power of the Dark Side "

Thank you

Hi Suzanne, you talked about not thinking that something is wrong with you. But, what if there is actually a problem that people keep telling us and we don't act on it keep assuming something is not wrong, wont it be lack of self-awareness and being rigid.
For example, people keep telling me I am slow, and even I feel I am slow, now should I look at it as yes there is something wrong with me and I should act on it or just leave it?
There is another example-someone told me that I am not able to see the big picture in life and in relationships, both. This translated to "There is something wrong with me" in my head. I started relying on that person to tell me how should I look at the big picture and somehow gave the power to him to decide what I should do since I was obsessed with performing good in life. Now, do I really follow his path believing he is right or just ignore his advice and believe there is nothing wrong.

She is Darla. Nice 👍

We are already complete as spirits, but as a person, we will never be complete because we are changing and evolving but it's not a bad thing because being imperfect is what gives meaning and purpose to our lives. we must stay in spirit and not identify ourselves with the incomplete part of us which is ego-based. instead of identifying ourselves with the mind, we must use it to create the circumstances we want in our lives creatively.

I am going through a tough transformation facing so much danger by others who is they let me be I’d be more capable and less turbulent. I don’t care about others opinions anymore they will not take my power. God is here within us all

That one guy in the audience laughing is so hilarious. He sound like a comic villain

I have no inner guidance. Where does this come from?

"Leeeaaarnn to ussse the darrrk sidde of self-improvement"

Acknowledging there may be things wrong with us is not a "dark side", it's being able to self-reflect. The dark side is being so narcissistic we believe we're perfectly alright.

anyone has the link to the ted webiste of this speech?

What an adorable lady and I really agree with what she says. She radiates warmth and takes the pressure off “self improvement” .

This whole video is the reason people are what's wrong with the world. Everyone is just lost and they see a little street called fullfilment and happiness and they go walking on down into it like, "oh wow I am found and my life is so much better now that I'm where I wanna be." And we don't realize our pursuit of gratification is still our drive same as it was when we were lost.... Aint nothing wrong with thinking something is wrong with you, something is wrong with all of us, just don't go fooling yourself and think self improvement success equals happiness. Be more humble than that.

very nice

Fulfilment -> Actualization -> realization -> Individuation

You describe myself very accurately!

True stori

"What you are to be, you are now becoming." - Carl Rogers

How can I learn to stop pushing myself forward and instead loving myself forward.! 😊

Thank you so much for this, you just changed the direction of my life. I'm beyond grateful. "Promise to Keep Listening To Myself" is now up on my wall, and "I Have What it Takes to Succeed" is up there too. So I can't miss it everyday i do my self fulfilling regimented work. Monday Mindset. Thank you!

found this channel yesterday and ive become addicted

Needed to hear this today. thank you.

You. Hey you.

You are not enough.

The world wants to tell you you’re okay as you are. But there’s a reason you’re suffering, and it’s because you lack the discipline to fix your life. Sitting around saying I’m enough isn’t going to fix your problems or make you happy.

You have $10k in debt, you’re living in your parents basement, you have no hobbies, and you have no life.

You’re not enough!

You can love yourself and realize you’re not enough. In fact, true self discipline, the desire to adopt responsibility and improve those areas of your life you know must be improved, is true self love.

Love yourself!

But realize you’re not enough.

Get to work.

Best thing you can do for yourself is believing in your own learning and perception way. People will say self improvement is good now some say self improvement sucks. So it's better face it by yourself rather listening to others.

😆😆😆😆it is!

The hard thing about self- improvement is that you normally say good-bye to over 80% of your mates

Except when I know there IS something wrong and bad with myself and want to change it.

She has really told us reality.....she has chosen something deep and out of the box for tedx talks...... she has given us a GREAT message to only Learn to love ourselves to be satisfied and happy in this world..

“Be growth-oriented not goal-oriented” 🌱
“Best guide to fulfillment is yourself”

Soooo goood!! I’m gonna need to watch this again!

Just turned 21, and I’m glad I found Jim... I was lost now I see the path thank you!

I can totally relate with Darla. I love this talk.

Could you be in the Darkseid and still be a Christina Man 👨 🙏

Their is something wrong with me and I am learning something new everyday

I am delighted to have watched this! I was initially mislead by the title, thinking this is quite gonna be on the pessimistic side, but it s not. Awesome speech!