The Big Secret to Finding Lasting Love | Bela Gandhi | TEDxChicago

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Sooo.... she made a list of her friendzone?

The big secret to finding love is living in a place where there are available women and being affluent enough to support them. That's it.

The problem with love is that it predates language. It's something we're programmed to do but it is being smart that prevents us from just loving. Think about it for a second. Those that stay together for life, do so because they ignore everything else. My dad was retiring from the military and mom was a stay at home mom and I'm sure it was very stressful as they made the transition between the military and civilian given the lesser income and more hour but yet they stuck together and never questioned their marriage. They've been together for 40 years. When you stop thinking, you realize what is more important.

kindness, if a person isnt kind nothing else will substitute

Women refuse to fall for a poverty-stricken man who is nice

I think she had a lot of amazing points. However, I don’t feel like it’s as easy as what she is saying.. it would be amazing if we could do just that… it’s nice to hear success stories though

The most important thing to me in a guy is one who’s sincere and dedicated (2 things, actually). I’m still single for 5 years already. Every time I meet someone who seems sweet, approachable and positive, even if he’s not my “dream guy” physically, I try to connect and sometimes even slightly hit on him with the remaining force of optimism within me. They either refuse or just suggest some other male friends they have, who never attract me even the slightest. So no, maybe love is not for everyone. Maybe after 5 years of trying to meet and date and do it with all the hopefulness within me, with a big smile and a self-empowering feeling that I shouldn’t give up, I finally do. It’s been a struggle, but I’m finally done with it. I only wish to succeed in life to survive financially in this hectic, violent and cold-hearted world, and keep doing the things I do best to enlighten both others’ lives and my own. A guy who truly sees me and wishes to have the most profound and ELEVATED relationship of his life, simply doesn’t exist. Believing he does? It has only caused me sorrow, a broken heart, a false sense of warmth and nothing but unmet expectations. I’m off to cherish myself even in loneliness.

wow,

Awesome !

Well, then how can we find elevator people?

That's easy. Don't have kids.

I'm dating a guy who has no hair, a beard and has two children he's also my best friend

I’ve been trying to apply this to my dating life but even when I stay open to meeting new people, even the ones that don’t initially conjure any particular feelings in me, I still don’t connect to the right guys. Not even for friendship. It makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong. I’ve done the deep inner work and am committed to continuing with it. This is a sensitive part of my life as I truly want to be with someone I can share my life with and grow and learn and experience all sides of love with. It gets tough.

for once does true love exist I need one so alone

I cried when she talked about Anna and how Anna took a minute to start dating people who made her happiest. I just was disappointed by a guy who wasn't ready for a relationship. and I did pick him based on the list of being cute and ultimately being a caring good person even though he wasn't tall and he was a little socially awkward. and I'm proud of myself for following the correct list looking for how happy I felt. even though he wasn't at the point in his life yet to commit, and open up yet, I do feel like he was an elevator person.

I ll give you my heart then. I help everyone except myself. Still single.

She was dating the 'what'not the 'who'

Woman have inflated sense of self worth , and pass up many good men thinking the will find better

kind, fun to be with, nice to all kinds of people